MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed. (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8) But return with Old Monk. (-5)
PROTECTIVE DUTIES You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5) You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10) It's her pet poodle . (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2) Named Tina (-10) Tina is a dancer. (-10) Tina is single. (-40)
HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner. (+2) You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3) Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2) And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie. (+1) You take her to a movie she likes. (+5) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you like. (-2) It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)
THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) You give any other response. (-20)
COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
Forty-Five years and for me this woman was heaven sent. I do however still play the game and will until the day I die at which time I will confess. The secret to a successful marriage is a chess game no doubt and you best be the better player. The day you become predictable is the first day of the end of the game.
The Rock
"Women. You can't live with them and you can't live without them."
My wife makes great deviled eggs, amazing cocktail sauce, and incredible garlic bread.
But other that, I do all the rest.
And yes, I get points for that.
Salagi's Link
I always thought it was Kermit the Frog. ;)
DL's Link
Is that what they're calling it nowadays?
"Women, you can't live with 'em and,...pass the beer nuts."
I'm with the others, it would appear that I have operated the last 24 years in the red. Not really, I won the lottery the day she said I do.
James
There is no tally system, nor will there ever be.
Women don't want you to know the rules. If they ever think you're start to figure out the rules, they'll change them
