My son and Facebook
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So I happen to be the only one of my siblings that does not have an interracial family. All of my nieces and nephews are mixed. They also happen to have fathers who are not involved both directly and indirectly in their upbringing.
My oldest and favorite niece posted a Facebook video of a police officer forcefully subduing a black woman who was clearly resisting and brought the subject of race into the equation. My son responded both respectfully and intelligently.
Now my sisters and favorite niece are angry with him. He's winning the argument for one which pisses them off and he's being realistic as well which also for some reason pisses them off. We've just seen a black cop kill an innocent white woman and not one riot. We see more unarmed white men killed by cops than unarmed black men per year. We don't riot.
If I resist arrest and get my ass whooped by the cops there is no outrage. I just deserved it. It bothers my son tremendously that people use color in any situation as a reason to be angry about that situation.
I'm just venting. I also feel terrible because my son is the oldest and "leader" of the cousins and now this stupid ass Facebook thing is going to cause a rift in his relationship with them. All because my "overly educated sisters" have alowed their children's reality to be skewed by our liberal media and their own liberal beliefs.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just frustrated and venting. And yes my sisters and I get along great in spite of our completely different political views.
Family members will always make choices that others may not agree with. I guess that is part of having a family. At the end of the day our families are all we have. Just be there to help out if a family member needs you. It's just my opinion, not advice. That's what I try to do with my family. Even if they're angry with me or not. I wouldn't take anything on FB serious.
My sisters and I have always had each other's backs and always will. We've been through hel and back together so this is nothing for us. (Plus I don't do Facebook so I can't put my foot in my mouth) none of our kids however have ever experienced any "real" tribulations. They've formed these strong opinions based on social media and my sons have formed their opinions from church and me (who can be a hard ass). They all look up to my son and he is going to become a cop in just a few years so this is a contentious subject with him. I've encouraged him to stay mum about most things and just try to educate his fam about being open minded. That's hard for him cause he's a senior in hs and as opinionated as most teenagers. He's got good points and he's a good debater.
Tell him to get off social media. There is nothing for him to gain getting into a pissing match with liberals on Facebook. When he goes to interview at Police Departments..... They will look at his social media postings. It's best just not to have any. ... Then he doesn't have to answer to anything he posted. Good luck to him !!
FB is NOTHING but trouble for most people. Take him fishing & shooting. MD
Yes, it's much better to get in a pissing match with liberals on a hunting forum than Facebook.
Matt
Ghost.... I can get in a pissing match all I want,, I'm 3 years from retirement..... For a young guy looking for a job where a background investigation will be done.... It's best not to have any social media postings. Trust me.
And it does you no more good than it does him.
Matt
I always say that "you only get to pick one of your relatives"
Now I can add "but, you get to pick all of your Facebook "friends.""
I've got a Nephew who is a big-time BLM supporter (he's half Japanese, half white).
I don't pull any punches with him on social media...attempt to bombard him with facts and stats on a regular basis.
Outside Social Media...we get along great, I truly love the kid, he's just a product of his environment.
As long as arguments are reasonable, and devoid of emotion, they can be healthy and educational. Family is Family, you'll never get them all to agree. It works...
One of my first cousins married an Aussie who is anti-gun. Our families are close, and I love him like a brother. He's been here in the states now for 30 some years. Fortunately, when I was younger and argued with him, he was too mature to take offense. Now, we don't argue about it. We make pokes at one another, but always with a smile. He won't convince me, and I won't convince him.
Fortunately, he's not donating money to anti-gun groups or anything like that.
Like I said, he's been here over 30 years. He is honest that he feels like an Aussie, and that is his identity, so he has never really wanted to naturalize. Except for twice. . . . Once, he considered naturalizing to apply for the show "Survivor" :) (which he'd probably win, as he's brilliant, movie star handsome, with an Aussie accent) :), and 2nd, he considered naturalizing just so he could vote for Trump :) :)
We all have something with family. My wife is from Venezuela and is a conservative. All of her family feels the same way except one who was a chavista since he worked form the Government. But thankfully even he has woken up and has turned into a capitalist.
I agree with BIG BEAR and spike. I also however can't force him to quit Facebook when he's been the kind of kid he has. Nothing he's ever posted, even last night, would preclude him from being accepted on any police force. It's reasons like those though that make me never want Facebook. I did however forbid him from responding any further in regards to that subject. Like any good son he simply said "ok dad, it just pisses me off when people are so ignorant". Well stated boy, I feel the same way.
Asking a teenager to shun social media is like asking a deer to shun corn.
Here's the thing - you are taking it more serious than it really is. Kids these days drop bombs and move on - us old guys hold on forever.
It will pass and be fine.
Sage, the thing that troubles me is he and my niece were having a cordial disagreement. It was public and four adults noticed it and jumped in on my son. He was brilliant in his responses and all they really had was that they were older and had been college educated. He stated facts and statistics., our conservative upbringing, history itself.... it was great. He was handing it to these teachers/school counselors. The adults were the ones that took offense. My niece quickly realized that she was just trying to"be cool". She called him today and spoke with him about it. He was at work for me so I heard the conversation. She aired her grievences and they made up. Her admitting that his points were valid.
The grown ups however are now down his ass and since I told him he can't respond he feels stuck. What's a dad to do? Let your boy be right or make your boy be pc?
I'm not a pc kind of guy and this is very tough for me. I like to say what I think/feel and debate that respectfully. He's my son so obviously he feels the same way. It's hard to tell a great kid who is right to keep his mouth shut.
When I hired in I interviewed for probably 8 different departments..... I remember in one interview that I had at one Department... one of the panel members asked me my opinion on the Malice Green case. That was a highly publicized case in Detroit about the same time as the Rodney King case... where 2 Detroit Officers were tried and inprisoned. I tried my best to answer that question the way these Police Officers would expect me to answer it. I failed that interview miserably. I learned that until you get hired into a Police job or any other job that requires a background investigation.... it's best to keep your political opinions to yourself. You can't tell your son what to do..... but a little fatherly advice and guidance won't hurt.
Sounds like he's doing fine and you should let him finish the job he started.
If he becomes a Police Officer he'll have to spend an entire career being PC and kissing people's back side. Now more than ever with in car cameras, body cams and mic's. Everyone will play arm chair quarterback with everything he does and says on the job. It's part of the job and certainly part of the hiring process.
Say he gets hired. 3 years from now he finds himself in a situation that has others saying he reacted from a prejudice view. Don't think for one moment a civil lawyer or criminal investigator won't pay someone full time to review and make copies of every social media comment he has made to try and build their angle.
There is a reason every police officer I know never joined or, has long since withdrew from drama sites like facebook. Words have less meaning when they aren't being spoken. Are easily manipulated when not spoken. And, trying to defend a typed position on a social site is hard to do without an elegant, long winded writer,
It sounds like he handled it well. But, tell him to leave it at that. He owes no one an explanation if he has used facts for his rebuttal. Especially on a world wide forum. Inform him of why you suggest that. It might be hard for you to rationalize suggesting this but, remember that being his dad means that sometimes you are looking out for his best interest foremost, which means you won't be his coolest friend in all situations.
"What's a dad to do? Let your boy be right or make your boy be pc?"
Let your boy be right and let the chips fall where they may.
Its on her FB page not his, so even if "they" checked there would be no record of it on his FB page.
Further - as a good cousin - once they have their discussion - she can delete the entire thing, if she wants. So if it was ever a problem, he could ask her delete it after the debate is over.
I've seen a handful of Police Officers get disciplined for stuff they posted on Facebook.... not smart.
I guess he could depend on every one to do the right thing and, to be a common sense individual to start with. One of these two things have proven wrong already. So, why chance the future he says he wants? I understand "let the boy grow into a man" mentality. But, the biggest threat in any of this is having his personal feelings on social media for someone else to see. If he doesn't, it WILL haunt him in the future whether he is fortunate enough to become a LEO or not.
