Bowsite.com

Shunning

I watched a lot of the documentary on Scientology with Leah Remini...... And how it interviewed person after person who said that they were shunned when they left the cult. Cut off completely by family members and friends who were still in the religion/ cult.

We just had a murder/suicide locally where a woman killed her husband and 2 adult children; and then herself........ The people close to the family are saying she was shunned by the Jahovas Witness (spelling ?) church that she had belonged to. She reportedly left the church for her children to attend college which was not allowed.

I can't imagine what would bring her to do what she did; But after watching the shows on Scientology I think it's wrong to "shun" a family member or friend and cut them off from all contact if they decide to take their life in a different direction....

I've never understood the 'cultist' mindset either. The apparent easiness/willingness of some people to be controlled is pretty mind blowing stuff.

There's no way I could shun one of my kids or any other family member. I know of people who have been shunned by their own parents after entering into a mixed race marriage..... Or due to their sexual preference......

I might not be thrilled about some of the choices my kids make..... but I can't see ever shunning any of them....

Scientology isn't the only one that shuns! But sure want your money!

Been it a situation of shunning and it is real juvenile from adults that do it, sweet justice when came across one that was in the ditch and needed help, poetic it was when got them out.

For sure 70....... The Amish shun too........ and like I said I know of people not associated with any of those groups that shunned their own children.

Followers of Ammann, Menno and there various splinter groups adheres to the Bible teaching of shunning also. most main stream churches of Christendom have abandon it over the years.

Shunning is a hallmark of false doctrine and toxic being.

Being "shunned", is painful. Plain and simple, it hurts, and that's why some of the ignorant cults do it in an attempt to force a wayward member back into lock-step with the rest of the sheep.

I was led to Christ by a person, and I followed their lead and joined the church they suggested. I flew across the country to meet him, and his family, and we became good friends. A year later, I flew all the way across the world and spent two weeks with him and his family, including my jumping into a river to save his son from drowning. I had a lot of love for this man, and his family..they were good people.

Over time we lost contact, as I was not so active in that church anymore...too many unanswered questions, and too many confusing things going on in my own Christian walk. This group pretty much wanted to have control over every facet of my life, and when I'd had enough I left that church and anything to do with it.

Tracked my buddy down a couple of years ago...found he was back in the US and was pastor at a small church in a very little town. Sent him an email, and after a couple emails back and forth, I told him I'd like to stop by sometime and say Hello. Also told him I was no longer associated with that particular brand of Christianity, and hoped he'd be OK with that.

He wasn't, and I never heard a peep out of him since. Ya see, he wouldn't associate with me if I no longer accepted Christianity as he did..we were no longer "brothers", and I was headed for eternal damnation. He wanted nothing more to do with me.

I believe a man has the right to live his life in the manner he wishes, so if that was his attitude about it, so be it.

You bet your arse it hurt, however not for too long. I came to realize that "shunning" is about the worst type of emotional blackmail humanity can come up with, and I'm just not going to tolerate people treating me that way. Decided he could just kiss my arse, and I moved on in life. Don't need to associate myself with those who would use emotional pain in an effort to make me act, or believe as they wish. Neither does anyone else.

Kept this locked up inside of me for quite a few years, and this is the first time I've said anything to anyone about it, and only did so because I wanted to share my thoughts of what "shunning" is really like. I haven't been back in an "organized" church since, and never will step foot in one again.

Be careful how/who you choose to be your friends.

Thank you Mike..... For talking about it here.

Mike, Sorry about your experience but I would implore you not to give up on church based on that negative experience. This country needs to restore(reform) its moral backbone and, imo, that does not happen when people stay home. While not filled with perfect people, there's a good church home out there for everyone. Food for thought.

I think this is a topic that people don't like to talk about because there's lots of guys out there who wouldn't like to admit that they would shun their own child for entering into a mixed race relationship.... Or if their child were homosexual......

BB....sometimes hearing the experience of another can help an innocent person avoid the same fate. Grown men are generally not willing to share emotional pains...we just stuff 'em down in a hole in our brains and carry on. Done it all my life, just as you and others do...and in defense of that, it allows us to carry on with things much more important than our "feelings".

Shunning is the last tool in the bag for someone trying to control your life/actions. They spend a good deal of time developing you in a relationship that becomes a "must have" in your life, and then threaten you with the rejection of being shunned should you choose not to follow in the same footsteps as the rest of the flock.

We see this same level of emotional blackmail often in marriages. Husband doesn't do what the wife wants (or vice versa) and the other spouse doesn't talk to them for a week. It goes right along with the "If you don't do what I want I'm going to (insert stupid action here). It's an act of complete desperation.

Owl: My "moral backbone" is solid, but as for ever joining another church body...no thanks. There's more to the story than what I shared (always is), but it'll be a cold day in Hell before I ever trust another preacher.

I agree. You can show love to someone but yet disagree with them.

To me it doesn't add up why the Mother killed the whole family. They could have easily moved away. Death is final.

Sorry to hear that Mike but you are right you don't need friends like that.

I lost a friend of over 20 years when Trump was elected and she knew I supported him. She just couldn't handle it, but I accepted her through the Obama years. Doesn't bother me one bit since I don't need friends like that. I do have other liberal friends that don't have a problem with me supporting Trump and we love to razz each other over things he does.

I'm Lutheran, my wife's Baptist. You wanna see shunned you should've seen her mother when I said I was bringing rum balls to serve for coffee hour! She did a back flip and didn't talk to me for a month. It was really nice while it lasted..

Mike B, perfectly understandable been there and moved on but never left Christ, it just made me stronger in faith.

I have pastored churches, left churches over , over control features. Left churches over lack of control features. But never left Jesus and have a stronger relationship with God today than ever. Jesus was never and is not a controller. He is God who loves us and teaches us by example and that example is love. He hates wickedness but loves sinners and has provided the way out of that trap by offering himself for us although He was completely sinless. In Him we have peace, joy, love and freedom like never before. In Him we have everlasting life. Death is defeated, hate, fear and sin are removed by the washing of the water of the Word of God. He teaches us to overcome all things by his own life. Even religion.

God bless, Steve

You are misreading my post, Mike B. Your attendance is influential. As is mine and everyone else's.

Register here to reply to this topic