Choosing a hunting partner
Caribou
Seen some warnings in the AK caribou threads about choosing a partner carefully. Problem is that you really don't know the person until you've done an extensive hunt together. I had a few partners ( to the kiwis and aussies, partner isn't what you think ) that I would never invite again, but on the other hand I met my best friend when he came along on a hunt as a "friend of a friend". Some of the problems I've encountered with the blacklisted ones were: Total lack of experience, talked a good talk but was totally inept. In addition to ineptness, another guy wouldn't bathe and we were renting a house, and when he did bathe he put on the same stinky unwashed clothes. Wouldn't stick to plans and was argumentative. Another guy who I will hunt with again, but I learned something about him on our last hunt; he's afraid of heights. Learned this when I suggested crossing a steep gulch that I've done several times before, but for him it was out of the question. Perhaps others could say about me that I'm too old and slow. My dilemma now is giving a duck hunting friend a chance at a wilderness backpacking trip in AK for 10 days. I know he doesn't like camping ( hotel hunter ) I have the gear to loan him. We did a 10 day AK duck hunt last January and before we even landed he wanted to see about changing the flights to a shorter trip. On the 5th day he was melancholy and we weren't even camping, we had rented a house and truck. On the way home I said I'd be coming back to do a wilderness backpacking hunt for caribou and he said he didn't like the idea. Well, he told his wife about it and she told him to "man up" and now he wants to come with me. Problem is that I don't have much confidence in him now, but if I tell him he can't come I risk offending a good duck hunting partner. I want to give him a chance but I'm also concerned he could turn out to be a cry baby. He is a friend.....What to do ?
I'd be worrying about him being more than a crybaby on a hunt like you're talking about. Going on something like that when you don't have full confidence in the person could turn into a serious problem if a life and death situation came up! Stay friends, but leave him behind unless it's one of those "hotel" hunts!
Ditto. You never know until things get rough. You already know enough. A 10 day backpacking hunt is not the place to confirm your suspicions
If you are second guessing now it might be a good idea to find someone else. I have the same problem, a couple buddies wanting to up there for moose but it's a lot of money to spend having someone else ruin it.
--Vet 'em beforehand
The 1st hunts I shared with my best hunting buds = "Turkey"
Blind + Long days/early mornings + not shooting each other = life long hunting pals
"Play Jenga too"
All bests, Nick
Did he ruin the 10 day duck trip?
I guess my answer depends on how well you know the guy. The guy I've done all my western hunts with has been melancholy, moody, pissed off, bitchy, talked about shortening the hunt, etc. I'm sure I've been some of those things too at times. The thing is, I've known him literally my entire life, and we have spent considerable time together pre-kids and pre-marriage, hunting and fishing, trapping, etc. And we've fished and hunted in some miserable conditions, and even been in a few situations that were very dangerous. So when he is those things, I know him well enough to know whether he just needs some quiet time, or whether I need to make fun of him and call him a p_____. And vice versa
The thing is, it's never ruined a hunt. It's never made the experience anything less than enjoyable. And I hope he can say the same about me
So that's what you kinda have to ask yourself. If he's bitching and moaning, will it ruin or lessen your experience. Or do you know him well enough to smile and tell him to man up ? :)
Being melancholy for a day wouldn't bother me either. I'd just go off on my own for the day, or we wouldn't talk, which wouldn't bother me at all. The question is, did he snap out of it, and did he carry his weight even though he was melancholy?
I haven't done these types of hunts with anyone else, but I've met very few hunters I wouldn't at least try a DIY hunt with. Heck, I'd be hunting, and I can put up with a lot :)
Bake
I have had my share of not so good hunting partners in the past years , but have a few good ones, the best ones I have are the two that I started taking out when they got out of diapers. They will even do most of the work now days
My dad always says "If you have to question wether or not an athlete belongs in the hall of fame, they most likely dont belong in the hall"
You obviously have a lot of questions going on with your duck hunting partner.
If I was doing the 10 day hunt you are planning there is no way I would ask him to join. To me it sounds like he does not have the right mental game going on to deal with primitive style hunting other than a short hunt?
If it were me I would be very honest with him, First tell him all the things you like and enjoy about hunting with him then tell him your concerns. I would tell him he himself said this AK trip wasnt for him until his wife told him to man up? I would tell him that you think he will be miserable hunting in these conditions and you dont think it would be fair to either of you if he did this hunt with you? If he says he wants to go ask him is he sure he will do this hunt and promise no getting soft, no hotels, all primitive hunt only! Or as primitive as you plan on hunting.
You are both grown adults communicate openly and I am sure you will come to a decision that works for the both of you.
Is there a local wilderness area/national forest near you? Go on a week long camp and hike now...don't make your first extensive outing the "real deal" or you could end up burned.
"On the way home I said I'd be coming back to do a wilderness backpacking hunt for caribou and he said he didn't like the idea. Well, he told his wife about it and she told him to "man up" and now he wants to come with me."
Sounds like you'd be better off hunting with his wife.
Sounds to me like the wife would like him out of town for a couple of weeks..
I would tell him up front what your expectations of him are right up front. Just say if you don't think you can meet those expectations you better stay home. I went to Alaska last Fall with two buddies caribou hunting. There wasn't one cross word said between us the whole trip.
Sounds like his wife is pushing him into it. I doubt, though, that SHE really understands what she is asking him to do ... which is probably something he doesn't really want to do.
Look, he doesn't want a ruined vacation, either.
I think R.Hale nailed it, lol!
I would look for someone else. Guys like that will ruin hunts in an instant with their negativity.
Unless every time you see him he is going on about how he can't wait to go on this trip and how awesome on a stick it's gonna be.... no, I wouldn't go with him. The person you want is the one excited about it. OK, maybe not his wife...
I'd have a question or two about why the wife was making him leave for a long trip...... maybe just my suspicious nature....
Don't believe I've ever gone on a big long hunt without both encouragement from Coach as well a bitch or three.... passive aggressive I think they call it...
"Honey, I hope you have the greatest hunt ever!" And when you go to leave the room "WHAM" a 2x4 across the back of the head. (my house has 2x4's laying handy all over the place.... could be one source of the deep rooted anger....I'm thinkin' she just needs more meds...)
Go back to the post you wrote above and then decide! Only you can make that one. Maybe the wife wants to go too! Then she can make him man up! Honestly I have no idea how to proceed here. Been there and took friends that have little experience hunting. Some have the drive to go anywhere..and some are always saying that is so far how will get back out?.. Maybe ask him and be upfront as to the conditions and say it will not be anything other than "what it is" and see if he feels if it is what he is up too? Bob.
Personally I don't have the money or the time to risk. I get a chance like that once every few years I would not be risking it.
If you have more chances maybe it would be worth the risk to you but not to me. No way Jose. But I am also blessed with a number of friends I'd never have to worry about - so easy for me to say!
The only thing I have to worry about is if my huntin partner will let me tag along with her when she goes Moose hunting this fall.
I first hunted DIY in Alaska in the early 90's. We had limited wilderness experience, so we bought the best gear we could afford at the time and scheduled weekends backpacking and camping in the mountains of New York during February and March. We tested our gear and ourselves on those trips. The confidence and knowledge gained was priceless and necessary prior to heading to the Alaska bush.
One of the guys on that trip lost his marbles on about day 17 of a 15 day trip. Borderline scary behavior. By day 21, we were down to rationing m& m's from what was left of our trail mix and I thought he might kill and eat my other partner or me during the night. He was the first one on the flight out on day 21. Never hunted with him again.
Another hunt was with a guy that was the ultimate Debbie Downer. Every day that passed he would say, "now its a 9 day hunt....now it's an 8 day hunt" and so on. Every day started the same. Complaining about how embarrassed he was going to be if he came home without a moose.....how if I killed one, he couldn't help me butcher or pack because he didn't want to lose the hunting time...that guy SUCKED! I've not spoken to him since.
No indication prior to the hunt that ANY of that attitude could have been expected. The OP here at least knows that the guy he is considering is a Nancy. Take his wife, leave him home. Sometimes, even alone is better than 24-7 for a week or more with a putz.
I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that I've prayed for grizzly bears to eat my hunting partner a time or 2....
I would never do a wilderness hunt with someone who hasn't proven themselves first. There's only a hand full of guys I'd do a hunt like this with and they all have as much back country experience or more than I do. I did do a Kodiak hunt with a fellow P&Y guy whom I hadn't hunted with. We both had DIY Alaska experience. It ended up being a 17 day adventure because of the weather and one of the best trips of my life. Choose carefully... Ed F
If he is a real friend and a good one then tell him this and tell him the truth and your concerns. If he gets pissed or offended too bad. If he is a man and a real friend you can work out the details so you're both are happy on the trip.
Manage the expectations!
Ditto Rick... "Don't even consider it!"
I don't see a single thing that indicates he will be a half decent partner let alone a good one. Tell him it's for his own good. Dig up some horror stories to show him why.
I appreciate all the replies. I really wish my good friend "Doc" could go with me. He's been with me in the worst of conditions and always kept a sense of humor. Best hunting partner there is....but he will be in Uganda on a medical mission trip and can't make it. I could go alone but I don't think that is a good idea...anything can happen.
You are WAY better going alone than with the wrong hunting partner.
We all tend to overlook the warning signs when we hunt close to home. In my experience if there are little things that you notice when hunting with someone locally that concern you then DO NOT go on a extended hunt with them, period. This I have learned the hard way more than once over the last 40 years, you always think things will be alright but they never are.
I always said it was easier to find a wife than to find a good hunting partner and I finally got married for the first and only time at 50.
Easy out.
Tell him you want the challenge of a solo hunt. Line up a more experienced, more enthusiastic partner on the sly. Then right before your departure complain that the flight service failed to inform you they don't do solo drops and paired you with "this other guy".
Done.
I used to have a couple of duck hunting buddies like the guy you're describing. They are great ina duck blind and fun to be around for a few hours in the morning on a weekend. When it comes to hunting an entire week there's only 3 people I'd trust on my hunt. The 2 buddies I do all my hunts with and my wife. A quick measure is to ask yourself this of your friend while duck hunting: Does your buddy ask "when is quitting time?" or does he know that quitting time doesn't come until the last duck is in the blind?
Sounds like this ain't Hollywood's first rodeo....... =D
Sounds like some of you have been on a trip with my brother!
As long as the hunting is good, so is everything else. One day of not shooting or seeing game, he's ready to go home. He wants me to take him to Alaska, but no way!!
One year, even after he tagged a cow Elk, he got pi**ed about something and never said a word the entire 700 mile trip home. The only sound was him spitting into a plastic pop bottle every five minutes. Think that doesn't get on your nerves??
Hard to beat "Alaskan Grown" :) ( #1 son)
#2 son (notice who does all the work around here ... lol)
