She was definitely no outdoorsy type of girl other than the fact she loved to fish but she never shared my passion for bowhunting, fitness, adventure, etc. No way she would ever do a backpack trip, any kind of camping, or go anyplace you couldn't plug in a curling iron.
I used to think this was okay since I don't want to spend every waking moment with my g/f, wife, whatever, but I'm thinking it would be nice to share more of the outdoor things I love to do.
How many of you guys think you have the perfect mate whether she's into the outdoor lifestyle or not? If she does share that interest, was she into the outdoors when you met or did you get her into it? How much together time is too much and how do you get your time away if you need that?
BTW, any outdoorsy type woman interested in a slightly used but in very good condition 56 year old, outdoorsy type man, please send a pm. :) :) :)
I, for the most part enjoy my hunting excursions sans wife. In the beginning of our 20 years together we did some hunts together which were great fun although I think she mostly participated to be with me.
Now, the time away is mostly good I think. We get to do some 'fun things' apart and some together.
I get the appeal though of a hunting soul mate, perhaps that would be an added dimension to a relationship that is until she shoots one of 'your' hit list deer, or wants your best treestand during the rut, etc etc lol.
Seriously, good luck on your quest.
Fast forward 16 years and a lot of curves, and hills, etc. now she still likes to hunt, but has learned what she likes and what she doesn't and now it isn't all about just being with me. Now it is because she likes to hunt, and she doesn't want too much of anything. She is fairly even keeled nowadays, whereas that was rather different back in the good old days as well.
Anyway, in my opinion - the problem is, only you know, what YOU want, or need - you had the perfect situation. A girlfriend who hunted, but didn't always have to be there. One you could share your stories with, that understood, but also didn't mind you making your own adventures.
I guess the reason I say that, the relationship you mention is rather perfect is, I could not see myself in a relationship with a woman who never went on a hunting trip, or that did not thoroughly enjoy the outdoors.
Adversely, I wouldn't want a woman up my rump 24/7. Actually as I wrote that, what bothers me is when they can't do for themselves and want to be with you 24/7. But this style of a relationship would be fine for someone who was pretty self sufficient when it came to the outdoors. I could probably deal with them being by my side all the time.
I realize none of this helps much, mainly because like I said, only you can make the decision.
It all starts with the interview.
Bill, obviously your statement was light hearted, but there is some truth to this.
When I first brought my wife along, she had never shot, or hunted. And when I got her all trained up, and ready to hunt, I started giving her all of my best spots, and before long, it was expected. So that is something to think about.
TBB
My wife (second one) and I have a great arrangement. She doesn't have any interest in hunting but is a gourmet wild game cook, helps with the meat processing, loves looking at big antlers and mounts, and encourages me to hunt as much as possible. She has her own hobbies and passions to stay busy while I'm gone.
She does things like customizing my little hunting trailer/base camp, grocery shops for me while I'm hunting, washes clothes (unscented soap, of course!), repairs gear. She's going to P&Y with me this year.
I have friends who've done the GF/wife hunting companion arrangement. For some, it's wonderful. For others, it has been a chore because it eventually became about "her" hunt everywhere they went. Depends on so many variables.
My first wife was only a rifle hunter so that was fine. Plus, she was great with horses, so we had some fun horseback/camping hunting trips. Even spent our honeymoon on one, deep in the mountains during the Blizzard of '84". But despite our shared interest, the marriage didn't work Good luck, Nick!
33 years married. She does not hunt but goes about once per month to our farm which has a bunk house with generator but no running water. She loves to be there with our two labs and is a pleasure to have around.
Main point, she always encourages me to chase my dreams, and I do the same. She is so supportive and I have to be the one who restrains my investment in the farm.
Just booked a bear hunt and even though I did not have to ask for her permission, I did. Without hesitation she responded-it's about time.
Honestly, really do not want to have her hunt with me all of the time. Think it is more important to support each other in their endeavors and be excited to hear each other's stories,
I am blest and know it, wish the same for you in your search!
Personally, I would not want a partner interested in everything I do.
Good luck finding one that loves the outdoors but in what capacity exactly I don't think is the be-all end-all. Much tougher time matching you personality - wise and let's face it you also need to be physically attracted to one another. If all else fails - Eva Shockey is still technically available but you'd have to move fast!!!
She knew that I loved to hunt and has always supported me and my sport. She helps me butcher animals, carry them out of the woods and has slept in tents and the back of my truck in cold weather. She never tells me to stay home and skip a year. She is always welcome to come along.
In June we will have been married 46 years and going strong. Just remember, if you want her to support you, support her in things that she wants to do.
She is my best friend. She is the perfect match for me. And, I love her so and never doubt for one minute that she was a gift to me from the Lord.
I'd suggest that if you need a women to hunt with in order to be happy, you might need to do a little soul searching yourself. We are all individuals and if I could give you one piece of advice, get to know the next women and appreciate what she is. If she is a good person and is a fit for you, than marry her. I'd simply suggest if you two were married long ago, this wouldn't be happening. Marriage is essential in any long term physical relationship between Men and Women, if that bond is to last the test of time.
Good luck and God Bless
Oh but she's mine. You can't have her.
To answer a few of your questions... I got my wife into bowhunting 10 years ago (second marriages). She had never hunted before but had the desire to be in the outdoors. All she needed was the avenue. Now she cannot wait to be in the woods and I miss her when she's not there. It's a blast when she goes to her stand and we text back and forth bouncing stuff off of each other. I also have to make concessions for her, which I don't mind at all. I love sitting in her ladder stands too. :)
We are not "perfect" and still have our problems in life but hunting with my partner sure makes it a lot more fun!
Best of luck to you Nick... Sounds like you're making a good move.
I think there are two keys to finding the 'Perfect Outdoor Woman', really. One is to find someone who supports your passion for the outdoors and who seems interested, the other is to encourage her to give it a try.
When Millie (Lady Bowhunter) and I first met she had never hunted or fished - no one in her family hunted or fished. She knew I hunted and fished on weekends and knew she could join me if/when she wanted. Six weeks after we were married we bought her a used bow to target shoot in the back yard.
As her skills developed the desire to 3D shoot took root followed by a desire to try bowhunting - the rest is history. Now we plan our vacations bowhunting. Our desire to have a 'permanent place' to hunt was the basis for buying our farm last year in TN.
My point is if you can find someone who's supportive of your passion, she may end up joining you with only the slightest amount of encouragement.
There is a way to facilitate finding YOUR Outdoor Woman, that's supporting the NWTF's Women in the Outdoors (WITO) program and your Fish and Game Department's Becoming an Outdoor Woman program. Millie used to volunteer and teach Archery and Bowhunting for the NWTF Seminars in S. TX (I'd help her run the Archery Range). You'd be shocked how many single ladies (in your age group) who wanted to learn/develop outdoor skills and how many times I was asked if I knew any single guys who'd 'teach' them how to bowhunt.
You are a good man and I'm sure it will happen!
PS: Fortunately my wife of 38 years loves golf as much as I love bow hunting so she "gets" the passion. Also, my business career had me traveling a bit through the years so she was always pretty independent. Every relationship is different!
I just think it would be nice to be with a girl that liked more outdoors activities whether it be hunting, fishing, backpacking, running, etc. One thing I have gained with age, and that's patience....I'm in no hurry to find another. I'm somewhat of a loner anyway, so I have no problem being by myself. I have two wonderful daughters and my siblings who support me, also.
milnrick, that's a great idea and the IA DNR does have a BOW program every spring and fall. I may have to look into volunteering.
Man, the pm's with yoga pants selfies just keep rolling in.....not! lol
I would make a comment about training your own hunting pup vs. getting one trained by somebody else, but somebody might get their yoga pants up the crack over that...
I was single for near on two years and ran many a 'interview' and whilst seeing many a potential partner none ticked all the boxes until I met Karen 14 odd months ago. She is now the love of my life. She loves the idea that I hunt, want to hunt many wild places and we are headed to Africa this August for 8 days hunting, her with a rifle and me with my recurve.
Like someone said above, it's all about compromise and understanding... On both parties.
My advice to you now is to work on yourself in this 'down time' and look back on your past realtionship on the good points and bad and where you can make things better. Time to get your house in order so to speak.
Stay positive, make yourself a catch to future ladies as I do agree.... Good women are hard to find... But I'm sure women say the same also.
James
What's all this "we" stuff Rick? Your wife is just fine! Nice try though brother! Haha!
It's my opinion that you should never commit to any person till you've known them for at least 2 yrs. Specifically a woman. Sometimes it takes some time for their crazy to come out.
And even then, be careful. Gold and diamonds are anti-aphrodisiacs and only the few really good women don't feel the need to let their inner ape-chit out once they have it.
LOL!
Eric, Agreed....my solo hunts are very special to me and I want to always have that. Would love to have someone to take on a summer scouting/camping trip, tho.
She works out almost daily year around and we have ridden thousands of miles on bicycles and hiked for countless hours.
Independence is critical and she is that for sure. She has more tools than I do. She is a great cook and does so often. She respects the way I hunt and ask me every winter my plans of where and what I'm going to hunt in the fall. She is totally supportive in all aspects of what I do. Honestly, I do not know of a woman who would tolerate the way that I hunt. She grew to greatness as the kids got older she became who she was intended to be.
There are no perfect women but she is perfect for me. This year will be the 35th and I just want more.
Good luck, there are women out that will grow with you or away from you but sometimes away does not mean seperate. We like our time away but we both know the anchors of our lives and we talk every night. Even now I'm watching TV and pecking on this pad and she is planting seeds with her headphones on. It is not the words but her presence that makes it nice.
I am always glad to point the truck toward her direction because that is home.
Some hunts we do together, others I go on alone. Be patient, know what you are looking for, refuse to settle.
Also...just to be perfectly honest....taking advice from me pertaining to women is like taking elk hunting advice from me. :)
My wife hunts turkeys with me a couple of times a year and enjoys fishing and hiking on occasion. I love to have her with me when she goes but after seeing the way some of my friends wife's nag them, the thing I appreciate more than anything is that my wife respects that I am an outdoorsman and she would never get in the way of it.
I should remind you that she seemed to be far from "The Perfect Outdoors Woman" when we met, so I don't necessarily believe those animals exist except in fantasies. We evolve and develop through our relationship, and the adventures are shared ones.
Does anyone agree there's really no sure way to tell the 'Perfect Outdoors Woman' apart from the one who might eventually make you a 'Prisoner Of War'?
My friend met who he thought was the "perfect" hunting companion. Gorgeous, as driven to bowhunt as he was, skilled hunter, fun to be with. Came from a hunting family with a well-known dad in the hunting industry. They got engaged.
Fast-forward a couple years. The relationship evolved to where she expected him to be her guide, cameraman, logistics manager, and financier in HER quest to be a famous female bowhunter. Many of you have seen her on TV if you watch the shows.
The breakup devastated him because he was in love. But he was also miserable. +++ on the advice to get to know her for a couple years first. I learned that lesson the hard way in my first rodeo.
I forgot to add that my wife is a skilled rifle and pistol shooter. She owns and carries a Glock 19, and loves to shoot. I've got a .45-70 howitzer she shoots with a grin, and she is as good as anyone I know with a scoped .22. She has never shot a bow in her life, and has no desire...which is okay by me.
She does like to fish from time to time...and fortunately, her desire to eat fresh fish outweighs the desire to catch and release....most of the time.
She absolutely loves to cut the grass and work in the yard/garden...and if you ask me...THAT is about as close to the "perfect outdoors woman" as a guy can get!
We both like to fish so that is one activity we do outdoors together.
Had a "starter" marriage that lasted 20 years, this one is going on 24.
She was an anti-gun, anti-hunter when we met but she was good enough to hear what I had to say, and to try shooting and eating wild game. Now, she's as much into living off game and fish as I am, maybe more.
She's super-supportive of what I do outdoors, and hasn't fallen for the "Kathy, I have to go, it's my job," line for years but she lets me keep doing it.
She does plenty of traveling with her friends, sister and our kids. I'm often along, too. She's never asked my permission nor have I asked hers.
Eight times in almost 35 year she's asked me not to go on a hunting or fishing trip. All eight times I cancelled, with not complaints.
And midwest, if you really are a neuro-surgeon, you make enough money to get any kind of wife you want. Super-sized incomes have a way of molding perspective wives. :-)
If I could ever draw her a tag, she would gladly take part in the killing as well, and she would probably stay way more calm than I would in the moment. She would respectfully take the animals life, reduce it to food in the freezer, and do it all while remaining a beautiful, classy lady. I've seen girls who would do that type of thing and have the grace and poise of a truck driver in the process (no offense to truck drivers). I was able to hunt 31 days total last year because of my amazing wife, and I'm super blessed.
I don't have any brilliant advice for you; I guess you just helped remind me how very good I have it.
Good luck in your search.
Aaron
My wife never shot a gun before I met her and now hunts on a regular basis and enjoys it. She rifle hunts so I do my thing then get an extra short hunt in later with her. She enjoyes the easy kind of hunting and that's more then fine by me. She supports me and all my hair brained plans and those who know me know there arnt many women who could put up with that...
Vernon Edeler's Link
A friend of mine used a dating site like the link and found a good one and they seem to be doing fine. Who knows what you may find.
Or could it be when the true man comes out?"
I met my wife at a dance club in Downtown Denver on the night that I basically kicked my long term girlfriends out of my house. It was a friends birthday and needless to say I do not hardly remember a single thing after about 10:00 pm that night. What I do remember, lots of shots, a little dancing (all of which my kids are strictly forbidden from copying), and that night asking for her number. She refused and insisted that she get my number instead and if I was lucky she might call me back.
4 days later she calls and wants to meet for dinner. This was the beginning interview. At the interview we discussed like, dislike and then spoke extensively about hunting, fishing, etc. She never really shot before, only fished as a little girl with her dad a couple times, and despite having uncles that hunted never went on a hunt in her life. She said she was interested in learning and trying it... Yeah right I heard that from almost all of the 200 or so girls I dated in college.
Fast forward a week. I took her on her first hunt, I gave her a a predator call and at first light we set up on a knob and sure enough she called in her first coyote from almost 2 miles out. I eventually shot that yote at 20 yards as it turned to run.
For me there are 3 categories that a woman can fit into. Those who will never understand and will only tolerate your expeditions for a while but end up eventually giving the ultimatum. Those who understand but have limited interest in partcipating, and those who are genuinely interested in being an active partcipant. For me I had a mother who was type 1 and knew that I could not handle it. I had a step mother who is type 2, which would be OK, but I could never be truly happy trying to choose between the woman I love and my hunting (I watch my dad constantly struggle with balancing hunting and her). So for me I decided that my only option was to find number 3.
Many people seem to do just fine with #2, but I could not see myself doing it. So I found someone truly interested in the outdoors despite having no experience and molded her into the perfect hunting partner. I truly believe the secret to my success was giving her a job where she felt like she was contributing to the hunts success. I feel that many times we take beginning hunters out and simply have them follow us, but never really let them have ownership in the process.
From calling coyotes, my wive then learned to call in elk, ducks, geese, etc. Last year was the first year she tried archery hunting for elk. It take time to develop, but she is by far the best hunting partner i have had, and as a result most of the time I let her decide where we should hunt, etc.
Also as a side note, my marriage almost fell completely apart, actually it did. It is not enough to only be partners in hunting, you have to be partners in all aspects of life. Outside of hunting my wife and I spent years not working together on things like bills, our home, etc. We both focused hard on our careers and basically did just enough to keep each other happy, then hunting season rolled around things were great for a couple months then it all went to crap. I have since learned that everything in our life we need to tackle like a hunting trip. We need to have plans, goals etc. I need to listen to her ideas and she needs to listen to mine. Luckily things are great now, hunting is more fun than ever, we spend more time together year round, and our kids are being raised in a much better setting.
Good luck with your search!
My motto at home with our teenage daughters and here at the office is....
"The needs of the team come before the needs of any one individual."
I learned this when I was 14 from our principal (Father John Knoerschild) of a Jesuit high school in southern Ca.
Mark
I met my wife at a surprise birthday party for a friend, which I left deer camp to attend. I wasn't really "looking", as I was going through a divorce at the time.
We talked for awhile and started to connect, and after she told me she was a city girl I decided to "pop the question", so I asked her if she had a problem with me killing Bambi. She laughed and thought that was about the funniest pickup line she'd ever heard. She still reminds me of it.
We've been together since that night, a very good balanced partnership.
She like to fish, go backpacking, hiking, skydiving, running in marathon's and sometime me.
As you already know, our Lisa is single and not many guys can afford her hunting---( she is a SLCPD Officer)
Her Trophy Room includes not only Bull Elk, Muleys, antelope but plenty of African Trophy's...
She is always with us on our OTC Muzzy Any Bull at Red Canyon Lodge, we have chit-chatted- about it with your now 'ex' coming with you---no go---sorry for that--??
$388.00 non-ressy fee if ya wanna meet her/all of us
As my Mrs. will be home from Kabul, Afghanistan during that hunt time frame..
Happy for your freedom my friend,
Good luck, Robb
PS--I will toss ya a few pix of her in the AM from the job...easy man! ha
1. 5ft or shorter
2. 32 DD (naturally)
3. be willing to learn the 11 different ways to use a double ladder stand.
4. be one hell of a cook
5. Be willing to leave to hunt before going to the mall
6. must have a willing desire to keep camp clean at all times
7. must be able to outdrink 90% of your buddies.
Some very funny comments above! If my wife out drinks me, she will probably out weigh me, and I never want to see that!
Check out her rack.
I would not even know what it's like to have a partner that loves to hunt and fish like I do...
Russian g/f? Did you order her online? ;-)
So I had to tell her I did not know how to find this spot again and that she would have to come along to timber line then she could stop anywhere she wanted to and I could find her later. Once we hit timberline she stayed right with me (it was easier hiking) and we got into some Elk. Spotted some across a valley and she told me to go and she would watch. Off I went but did not get the shot so hike back to get her and she tells me she could not believe how fast I got to the Elk. She had told me before this day that she thought she could climb mountains faster than me or at least as fast. On the drive out I stopped and pointed out where we had been that morning, she told me then that had she seen that before we hiked in she would have waited in the truck for me.
Next came Oct/Nov Whitetail season, I had tags in 3 states so I told her I would be gone for 6 weeks unless I filled all my tags early. She was a little concerned as she told me after my return that she was not certain she would ever see me again.
After all that I knew I had a keeper, she has nothing against me hunting but does not show any interest in joining me other than an occasional Turkey hunt. Like someone else stated, I do not ask permission to go hunting, I just tell her when, where and how long I will be gone and she has no problem with it, Not even on Holidays. My stepmother once asked her why she let me going hunting all the time, to which she told her that it was what I had always done and enjoyed and that she would never try to stop me.
They are out there but you need to weed out the bad ones to find the good ones and it takes a lot of time.
my stepmom asked my wife a very similar question one time. Since my wife's father was an alcoholic she replied 'I'd rather he be doing that than going to bars or hitting me like my Dad did my Mother.' My stepmom never mentioned it again. I did give over-board with it at one point and lose focus on family needs and issues when my daughter was 14. Luckily I realized that and we are still married, 32+ years now. she likes to camp, fish and make deer jerky. she is my 'perfect' woman so I think I will keep her.
