I left Alabama and crossed Mississippi, Grinning like a possum and whistling Dixie,
Into Louisiana where the black trees grow, bugeling to the beat of Marie La'Voux
Across and up Texas it took a day and a half, because I ran off the road and had four flats,
Through Oklahoma and it was a bummer, cause it don't ryme with nothing I thought all summer,
Through Kansas and into Nebraska, I stopped by the store to get Nabs and some Shasta,
To my surprise they didn't have any of that, I thought to myself "how'd they get so fat"?
I went farther north and west at I-90, thinking of the elk I'd shoot in the hiney,
Into Montana destination near Idaho, I went by Big Dans and I didn't even blow,
Up over the pass my old truck started miss'n, not enough air for the gas in the ignition,
Halfway to Heaven I thought I can coast from here, I looked for St. Peter as I kicked it out of gear,
I easily made it the rest of the way, a couple of times I had to pump up the brakes,
I thought of passing a "booner" as I got out of the truck, killing one would likely blow this site slam up.
Note: contestants must be under the influence of alcohol or Colorado anti depressant smoke.
