Funny Observations in the field
Elk
I am coming home from an evening hunt and it is really dark. The gravel road meanders through a small canyon and crosses the river where there is a single lane wood bridge with no sides on it and it sounds like the boards are a little loose as you cross over. Just as I get to the bridge a porcupine has found his way to the middle of the road and is now blinded by the truck headlights.
In an effort to escape the blinding light he begins to go away from the brilliant light and starts to cross the bridge. This huge porcupine becomes a little disoriented and you can see that he is just feeling his way along as it is clear he can't see a thing.
In his confused state he starts going sideways sticking his arms out in front and a little to the side checking to see that he has good footing. Kind of like when you are on an unstable platform and you put a little weight on it before fully committing yourself. Well, he is now approaching the side of the bridge and it is clear that he will be headed into the river if he doesn't change course. You just know what is going to happen before it actually does.
Finally, he reaches the edge and his little hand shoots out into the air but as he pushes toward the ground nothing is there and so he lifts his paw up again and tries a second time but he has already committed his balance to move forward so when his hand comes down and there is no bridge he rolls over the edge like a pancake being flipped with a spatula and a huge wall of water splashes up onto the bridge where he was moments ago.
I laughed all the way home. It was so funny. I still find myself laughing today at that poor boys expense. Simply hilarious to witness. I am sure he was just a muttering to himself when he hit that cold water.
Slapstick comedy at its best. W need to hear more about wildlife bloopers.
Thats funny stuff, I once had a saw and three cubs come into my bait in the spring the little cubs were small like 15 20 pounds maybe well watching them was great, well one had his head in the barrel and another one pushed the little sucker in the barrel he was stuck the noise comming from the barrel was crazy , the mom finnaly got him out it was so funny I was LOL in the stand.
While sitting in a stand one morning I observed a gray squirrel as he would go to the top of a giant Pin Oak and bring an acorn down to the bottom stashing it in a hollow cavity at the base of the tree.
As soon as he would go back up the tree for another acorn a fox squirrel would come running from a rocky corner of the ridge and go into the cavity and take the acorn back to his stash somewhere around the corner.
This went on for hours with 20-30 acorns being deposited by the gray squirrel and stolen by the fox squirrel.
I know squirrels can't reason but at some point you would think the gray squirrel would wonder why his acorns were disappearing.
I was still hunting and spotted a grouse. I didn't want it to flush and make a huge racket, so I slowly moved past it giving it a wider berth.
After I was about forty yards past it, I thought that I was in the clear. I was congratulating myself on being sneaky when the grouse flushed behind me and flew straight into the trunk of a tree four or five yards from me and piled up at the base of the tree, dazed.
I've witness essentially the same thing as Hawg. Grey squirrel would run up a tree and bring down a big cluster of acorns. He would bury them one-by-one and run back up the tree to get more. As soon as he ran up the tree a fox squirrel who was watching all this would run over, dig up the acorns and eat them.
I had one similar to Shaft's experience only it involved a blind possum on my deck. One morning, I was sitting in my recliner eating breakfast and saw a big, fat possum walking towards my bird feeder. I got up to shoo him away. He heard me open the sliding glass door and turned towards the sound. He waddled towards me and I could see his eyes were milky. I knew he was pretty much blind. I stomped my foot and he took off. He slammed head first to the deck railing and fell back. He then crawled under the railing, fell of the deck and landed on ground about 6' below. I walked over and watched him get up, shake his head and waddle off through the woods. Pretty funny.
Long ago when I still hunted bears, I watched a smaller bear reach into the small feed hole on the top of the drum and then stick his head in with his arm still in there. Got stuck so bad he got right up on the barrel and was trying to push himself out of his stuck position with his hind feet planted squarely on the drum. I videoed that one.
I was glassing a bear in the mtns and he squats to do his business. He squatted for a long time....stood up ....squatted again...and this went on for probably 5 minutes until he started dragging his butt on the ground while moving forward with his front paws just like I've seen my dog do on the grass.
As he walks off I can see about an 12" section of bale string hanging out of his nether region.
Oh, another time I was moving from one hunting spot to another driving and I'm on a trail on the side of a valley. I see down in an open pasture 2 horses running full tilt and there in front of them a smaller buck deer running for his life. Can't imagine what was going threw his head or the laughs those 2 horses had later.
While bowhunting deer years ago, I was stalking through a semi-open area with mixed brush and oaks/timber. All of a sudden, sounded like a stampede coming right at me.
Out of the brush comes a coyote, with a muley doe right on his tail trying to stomp him. They both ran right by me about 5 feet away, with the doe high-stepping it, and coming down hard with her front feet.
Neither one seemed to notice me...that doe was hell bent on stomping the crap out of that dog.
I laughed out loud after they ran by...I thought it was really amusing.
Best of Luck, Jeff
While hunting public land, some years ago, a fella and his gal where on a hike on a blazed trail within 30 yards of a tree I climbed earlier that morning.
As they came closer, I thought for sure they would pick me off, but they didn't.
As the guy led, his girl stayed back a bit and needed to relieve herself. You guessed it, right below and in front of me.
Nature calls, but I still smile when I think of that hunt.
BTW, Original Treebark Camo was the bomb and It must have worked. :)
Probably more frequent than any other, is the old squirrel scrambling from treetop to treetop, and then oops, missing the limb and falling to the ground. Nothing really unusual, and not hilarious, though it was the first time I saw it happen. It is amazing that a squirrel can fall from such great heights, and scurry away.
Another thought came to mind was when I was turkey hunting, I came across a knoll and around a tree, and saw a bird, a very small bird, in full strut - like a turkey would, but way too small to be a turkey. Momentarily I was confused as to what I was looking at. Then I recognized it as a grouse. Very interesting that it was strutting, just like a turkey would. And actually, I had read, or ben told an old indian tale, that went, the turkey gave the grouse some of his feathers for teaching him how to strut. Which apparently explains the few black, turkey looking feathers that the grouse cock wears just at the base of his neck. But again and old indian tale.
I know, not very comical, but somewhat amusing and interesting.
Great stories so far. Keep em coming.
Great
Sitting on the ground one day and heard all kinds of commotion in the brush heading strait for me. All of a sudden a fox bust out of the brush with a bobcat hot on its tail, I guess fox was on the breakfast menu. The fox ran past me close enough that I could have stuck out my hand and stopped it, the bobcat noticed me, gave me a really bad "go to hell" look and walked off the other way. Several years later I saw the same thing on a bigger scale with a mountain lion chasing a coyote. By the way, when a mountain lion gives you that look from about 20 yards he stares into your soul.
My son who was 2 and a half at the time and I were out one spring scouting our property for gobblers. My son was sitting in a small patch of dirt where the snow had melted. I was freshening up a brush blind about 30 yards away. All of the sudden a rabbit ran out of the brush toward my son. The rabbit jumped over my son's legs. I walked over to him and he looked up to me and asked if I saw the puppy. I laughed and laughed.
That porcupine story is funny.
I once was in a natural ground blind hunting deer not far from a hiking trail that was rarely used.
It getting late for an AM hunt and about time to go, but right before I got up to leave, I heard female voices hiking down the trail so I stayed still as I prefer to not be seen while I hunt.
These two ladies who were in their mid 40s were walking down the trail and decided to take a break right at the nearest point of the trail to where I was. There was a downed log about 1/2 way to me so they walked over and sat down only about 20 yards from me, but with their backs to me.
They sat there drinking water and were already in a conversation about intimacies with their husbands. The one woman went on and on in great detail for several minutes about her husband's unfortunate inadequacies in size, stamina, and awkwardness.
After a few minutes, I couldn't hold it together any more and gave out a bit of a snort trying not to laugh. They turned around and when they did, I had to let go and just started busting up.
I apologized and stated that I didn't sneak up on them, but that I didn't want to startle them.
The lady that had been telling the story turned beet red and was apologizing over and over that I'd had to hear that, she was so embarrassed.
Had some Red Squirrels that were getting frisky by me one morning. The male (I am guessing) mounts up on the female (again guessing) as they are climbing up the tree. He starts humping. She kicks her back leg and launches him through the air. He thumps down and runs right back up after her.
Ike, I hope it wasn't your wife!
One time a buddy and I were sitting in a pop-up blind at night, hunting some hogs over a feeder. It was kinda a tight sit and we were elbow to elbow. There were several deer at the feeder and some raccoons around. Somewhere around midnight he jumps up screaming like a little girl, i mean squealing like a 5 year old! Obviously I am alerted as to the instant change in silence and stillness. I guess a spider dropped down onto his arm and scared the piss out of him. I was laughing so hard I almost pissed myself as well. So he gets himself straightened out and I get the giggles under control. About 5 min later the raccoon start to come back, he leans over and says "I guess raccoons aren't scared of little bitch screams..." Of Course I lost it again. Never did see those pigs...
--Jim
Ed was filming some hogs on a ranch we use to hunt all the time. He had spooked the group, so they were hauling ass down the steep hillside when one of the big hogs in the back must have stepped in a hole and started CARTWHEELING down the slope. When he finally stopped, he stood up, just shook his head and tried to catch up with the rest of the bunch, I think he was embarrassed from our laughing!. It's hilarious and all on video!
One afternoon I took a 12 YO kid to sit a waterhole to watch elk come in. Just before dark, a fox comes hauling butt past the waterhole and heading straight to us. He spots us about at about 3-4 feet. He stopped so fast he kicked pine needles and dirt on us as he instantly spun around and took off. Don't know what he was after but my little buddy got a rush. Four years later that 12 YO killed a nice cow on a junior hunt in unit 9 AZ.
Coolcop, had to chuckle at that one. The little one's really are hilarious. Something similar happened to us, but your rabbit was our mouse, and your puppy was our rabbit.
Basically, the old farm house we stay in has mice. So we were sittin inside and had a mouse run through a door opening. My wife says, did you see that, and our son says, yeah, it was a bunny, and could he pet it. Funny what they think at that age.
Idyllwylde, my wife is wondering what I'm laughing at over here, lost it on that one trying to picture you trying not to laugh...
This year I was sitting on a ridge eating lunch, listening for bugles, when 4 chipmunks lined themselves up on the log right at my feet and took turns chirping at me for close to 15 minutes. They were each spaced about 2" from the other ones, it was pretty funny looking, I think I was in their spot...
"Ike, I hope it wasn't your wife!"
Of course not! She tells those stories in front of me without getting embarrassed!
About 15 years ago I was fishing Poindexter slough near Dillon MT. There were some fish rising and I was trying to sneak into position to cast. I knelt down on a little grassy spot and this mouse comes running out and stops about a foot away. Turns around and looks at me and starts to cuss me out ( at least in mouse language). I moved my knee and realized I had just smashed her nest and all of her little babies were dead. I felt bad for the little girl but I had no idea.
She stayed there for about a minute, she was a brave little mouse.
I saw a fat girl pee in the woods once while I was bowhunting about a hundred yards away. I'm glad I wasn't any closer.
Waking up from a midday nap to a fast approaching thunder storm during last years elk hunt, I'm standing there admiring natures fury and all of a sudden I hear a loud cracking noise above me. My natural instinct already has me ducking as if I going make the strike miss me, but to my surprise as I look up, there is a ball of wings and feathers tumbling to the ground from a pine tree about 40 feet above me. All of a sudden the ball separates into two large birds one taking flight and the other hits the ground with a thud 4 feet next to me. It turns out a Red Hawk dove in on a large grouse right above me in the tree and soon realize he might of taken on too much weight to fly with and instead of crash landing with it he dropped it. The Grouse survived the tumble and left a trail of ripped out feathers for about 20 yards as he squawked at the top of his lungs for 5 minutes. I couldn't help but laugh at what that grouse must of been thinking just happened to him.
It wasn't funny at the time but people seem to think its funy when I tell them. About 10 years ago I was hiking up a ridge back to the top to get in position for sunrise. It was about a 3 hour hike and about 45 minutes in I started to imagine the lions watching me. Pitch black, 3am in the morning. I just knew I was being followed and at any moment one was going to jump on my back and bite me on the back of the neck. Usually I am good in the dark but my imagination was getting the best of me. Every 10 minutes I soukd stop and scan around with my headlamp waiting to see a set of eyes. This had gone one for about 30 minutes when I flickrd on my lamp to make my 360 degree scan. I started to look to my right and some dark object was streaking toward me head high. I hit the dirt on all 4s as I felt the wind rush by my head. I looked to my left to see what almost decapitsted me and it was a f'ing flying squirrel of some kind. It landed on a tree about 5 feet away and proceeded to cuss me in squirrel chatter. The adrenaline rush was crazy. I sat there for a long time trying to get my legs to stop shaking snd my heart to stop pounding. I still think about that little bastard scaring the crap out of me.
OK here's a good one. Just this last fall end of September I went to Utah for the muzzy hunt with my Dad and a few friends (I wasn't hunting, just tagging along with pops). About three days in, My Dad and I are set up glassing on this open hillside overlooking a great saddle crossing below which of course has a road going along the ridge top so we all know that means tons of atv's. On the far opposite hillside I had noticed a small deer herd with an average size buck but they were at least 400 yards away. As this is going on I hear an ATV on the road below come crawling to a stop. It was a man and a woman on the back (no side by side, standard 4 wheeler) assume it was his wife. They both pulled up their binoculars and must have noticed the small herd on the hillside. The man decided to act quickly and punch the gas while the woman still had her binos up to her eyes. Poor lady never had a chance, backwards summersault off the back of the atv right into the mud! She was so pissed off, I wouldn't be surprised if that fella never made it home from that trip. My Dad and I were hysterical, crying laughing. And yes she was OK, just a little embarrassed.
The Approaching truck and I was closing the 200 or so yards gap at a normal rate of speed. I notice to my left a fox squirrel was running at breakneck speed to cross the road. It was readily apparent he was going to rendezvous with the approaching truck at a time that wouldn't be to his best interest. I looked back to the truck again to the squirrel. Again to the truck trying to gage the odds. There was no doubt this was going end ugly and I had a front row seat. As the tree rat entered the road he must have sensed his impending doom. Without missing so much as a step he leaped up landing squarely on the trucks front bumper, and in full stride. As if not to be detoured from the task at hand he continued across the guys bumper. When he reached the end of his lofty corridor he noticed my truck barreling down the road right where had expected to continue his trek. Realizing he was in a pickle, feeling no way was he going to get lucky twice. In a flash he switched ends and was heading back the way he had come, scampering along his metallic runway, and off the end, and out into the green grass of the roadside. The driver of the oncoming truck unaware of the drama that had been played out on his bumper. The timing and precision of the squirrel leap, his apparent no concern for his pending death until he saw my truck., was like watching a carefully orchestrated drama played out. It left me amused and in wonder of it all.
We have a few small ponds around our townhome complex so we have a few groups of ducks that come around. One day I was looking out the front window and noticed a few ducks were coming in to land on the street. One of them must not have had good depth perception or bad at judging speed, he came in a little too quick and as soon as his feet touched the pavement he did a face plant. He got back up right away and waddled away but was probably a bit shooken up on the hard landing.
Another time my dad, uncle, and I were out in Colorado doing some elk hunting during rifle season. About 2am we were woken up by the strangest sound. We looked out of the tent and there was a domestic cow standing in the middle of our camp just bellowing this awful sound. It was obviously lost and got separated from the main herd. I've never heard a cow make that sound before and it was a bit unnerving until we found out what it was.
I was whitetail hunting in a tree over several good acorn trees with a load of squirrels that were very busy gathering and burying the acorns when all the sudden they all spooked and scattered for the nearest trees for cover. An owl swooped over me and down to where they scattered from and landed on the side of one of the smaller understory trees about six feet up. He was more or less perched momentarily sideways as one of the squirrels that chose that tree was coming up but then, upon seeing the owl had landed above him, turned around and jumped to head for another tree. As the squirrel was quickly scurrying across the forest floor for another tree the owl gracefully leapt from it's sideways perch and pounced on it, then flew away clinching the squirrel as it continued to bark until the owl landed high in a pine tree about a hundred yards away.
The rest of the squirrels were back at the burying thing within minutes like nothing happened.
1.)I watched a gobbler out in a field one afternoon (no afternoon hunting allowed in my state) and a red tailed hawk began to circle him. After a couple minutes, the hawk dove in...and that gobbler timed it perfectly....as soon as the hawk flared his wings and began to swing his legs out to deploy his talons, that gobbler jumped up in the air, flapped his wings once to get inverted, and absolutely clobbered that hawk with his spurs. The hawk took off and never looked back.
2.)I watched a male brown bear that had JUST come out of his winter den (for the first time that Spring) "self gratify" himself for a couple minutes. He was almost within bowrange....but was so badly rubbed (now I wonder from WHAT....LOL), that I never even considered stalking him.
3.) I watched a guy take a long shot at a Barren Ground Caribou in Alaska. His shot was WAY low. The bullet ricochetted off of the water and took off BOTH antlers just above the bases, within a millisecond of each other. Lucky animal.....he was dazed, but unharmed....and definitely a shooter before the shot, and definitely not a shooter after the shot.
On our southwest texas deer lease we where driving the ranch road headed back to camp when we noticed some illegal immigrants on the next ridge over. We stop and one of the guys in the truck glasses them with his binos and says that one of them has really nice two tone blue and brown vest that looks like his Eddie Bauer puff vest. Sure enough it was gone when we got back to camp. It was classic.
Heading back to elk camp one morning my partner and I spooked a small herd in an aspen grove. The raghorn bull took off on a dead run and rammed straight into a tree between the eyes. Knocked him OUT! He lay there for a few seconds, slowly got up shaking his head, then walked off in a big half-circle. I don't think he remembered what happened.
i watched a young buck prance around like a runway model with a blue wig on his head. I was like WTF??? It turns out he had the blue string from a hay bale all ratted up on his head. It was really ratted up, extremely thick and tangled and i would have bet my right arm he had blue wig on.
He kept whipping his head around and prancing...it was like he liked playing for the other team if you get my drift...... i laughed my a$$ off!!
Brief history lesson about my dad. He is one of those guys that sees himself the best at everything. Infallible in everything he does according to him. A real stud in his own eyes.
We were doing some summer scouting, getting stands into the wilderness area we hunt. While crossing an open area, he started dragging his left foot. I was following right behind him thinking. "Why is he doing that?", since he prided himself on being so agile and fleet on his feet.
All of a sudden he stopped dead cold, and started raising both arms to his side. Once they got parallel, he threw the stands in each hand and, grasped his left ankle and said, "Boy's, there's something in my pants.". By this time he has both my brothers and my full attention.
He stood there grasping his eg for a few seconds, then let out this blood curling scream and shot straight up in the air screaming, "Something's in my pants!". All the while trying to get his pack off and belt unbuckled. He momentarily stops to check the progression on the intruder and, than screams again bloody murder, "Something's in my pants!!!!!".
At this point he is alternating between jumping in the air and running in circles screaming this while trying to get his belt unbuckled. After three rounds of this he starts throwing in, "Help me boy's!", with the bloody murder screams "Something's in my pants!". This went on for a good 12-15 seconds and about a high mile of ground covered in a 1/10 acre area. Me and my brother are just watching and trying to help him but, truth be told we couldn't catch him to begin to help him.
Finally he gets his belt loose and pants unbuttoned and jerks down undies and all. And this little harmless field mouse runs up to the band of his underwear and just sets there for about a second looking around evaluating the scene. Then he bails out into the tall grass and safety. To top off the fiasco, watching my dad try to stomp the mouse with his pants and undies around his knee's permanently ingrained how great it was to watch "Reco" get humiliated by a tiny field mouse.
Not a trip goes by to that wilderness area that this story isn't rehashed for all to laugh at again. It was great. God Bless
While duck hunting many years ago we broke open part of the frozen pond we were hunting and threw out some decoys on the water that filled in an inch or so on the ice. A pair of mallards came in to land and when they hit that water over the ice they wrecked themselves but good!
Woods Walker, we had a great hunt just like that years ago! We didn't get much ice where I grew up, and one day the pond had about 1" on it. We broke some ice to set the dekes, then the pond refroze around them. Every duck that made it to the water hit the ice and slid or rolled, pretty funny to watch!
The blue wig story reminded me of this one. About 10 or 11 years ago I was on a rifle Deer hunt in Colorado with my step Dad, a few of his buddies and one of his buddies had brought along his son for his first hunting trip ever, I think he was 15 or so. A few days into the hunt we had seen a few nice deer but tagged nothing. The younger boy was getting the feel of things so we set him up on a ridge overlooking a good water hole and the other guys spread out over a mile or so each atop their own point in the drainage. Just after first light we heard a shot ring out from the direction of the youngster. About thirty minutes later here he came over the hilltop with a big old shit-eatin grin from ear to ear and said he nailed a big buck. I asked him where his orange vest was at because he only had on His hat. He explained that the deer had fell in the pine trees a ways so he tied the vest to his antlers so we could find him. We followed the boy and upon arrival of where the buck was supposed to be only a small amount of blood and no deer!!! Holy crap!! We thought someone must have came along and stole the kids deer. No way he tied a vest to an alive deer's head.(note: very dry warm year so no real tracks) So we took off to the top of the ridge and started looking for sign that could tell the story of what happened. All of the sudden my step Dad starts cracking up and pointing to a distant hillside. Sure enough a nice muley buck with a big orange vest tied to his head trying like hell to fling it off. He put a second shot in him and down he went.
Back in the 60's here in Wisconsin...allegedly anyway...one of my father's fellow teachers told of his wife's 1st deer hunt. She had desired to go for years, so he finally relented and agreed to teach all the basics and gave it a go...firearm safety, markmanship, basic woodmanship, and so on. He then said, now...if you kill a buck the 1st thing you wanna do is cut out the scent glands...a tactic then deemed necessary in my part of the world or else the meat'll be "tainted". She nodded in agreement, having no clue of what he meant. Opening day...couple hours in...a buck sashays past and she pops him...down he goes. Not knowing what were the @#$&%?g scent glands, she looks around and lops off the poor boys jewels. Buck stunned...not dead...jumps up, runs off, and is shot on the sprint by a guy on the neighbors property. She, meanwhile is hauling a$$ after and arrives as the gent was preparing to tag it. She hollers out...wait, that's my deer!!! Guy says, b.s. lady, I just shot it....she, holding out the "scent glands", says...but I got these!!! Surprised neighbor says...lady, if you got that close to him, you can have him.
Guy swore...true story. If not...it oughta be.
Backin the mid seventies, two brothers and I were easing up the river in a boat checking set lines for catfish.
We could hear a couple of squirrels scurrying around in the leaves on top of the river bank and then a mad dash.
As we all looked up over the bank, out in mid air comes a Bobcat. Evedently made a dash at squirrel, not realizing the squirrel was right on the edge of the bank.
Anyhow that cat swapped ends in mid air and was trying to run the other way, even as it's butt-end hit the water.
We laughed so hard, we darn near sank the boat.
AH, the good ole days!!
I like the Gobbler one...I was up a treestnd for elk in Aspen..and passed on 4 cow and a 4x4 under me ...another hunter released on the 4x4, and misssed horrible at 15 yards ...... I had to laugh out loud and the hunter finally located me .
I like the Gobbler one...I was up a treestnd for elk in Aspen..and passed on 4 cow and a 4x4 under me ...another hunter released on the 4x4, and misssed horrible at 15 yards ...... I had to laugh out loud and the hunter finally located me .
I was scouting turkeys with my Cousin Kenn many years ago, and we were set up under a bunch of roost trees. The whole flock came in before dusk, and put on quite a show and roosted above us.
We wanted to wait until after dark to sneak out of there. Right at dusk, we spot something moving straight at us...SKUNK!
He had his head down, and he was on a mission right to us, just chugging along! When he got about 5 feet away, the ridiculousness of the situation hit us, and Kenn and I busted out laughing.
The skunk froze, then did a little back hop with his front feet while sticking his tail straight up in the air. Decided to take a detour around the two laughing idiots (fortunately for us)!
I watch a big eight point chasing a spike buck around for about ten minutes. This little spike would run around taunting the old buck as the chase continued. I thought GREAT! even the deer are turning GAY these days. After a couple more minutes I saw the doe he was tending and the little buck was just trying to get to her. Whew! I'm glad I saw the doe.
Saw almost the same thing as Elk_Thumper in the Breaks in Montana except it was a rag horn elk & the twine was orange.
He looked like Bozo the Clown!
