I spoke with Elmer via email regarding his dad's cancer and his desire to visit him (see Elmer's original thread if you're not familiar with the situation).
I will not get into details, but Elmer is tight on funds and travel from Alaska to fly he and his family home to see his dad is costly.
I have offered to help him raise some funds to help with his travel.
Pat, please let me know if this offer is not allowed and if so, pull the thread.
Many of you may recognize me as a longtime member of Bowsite. I have a business related to all things bowhunting (Sitka Gear, all Bowhunting Accessories, Havalon Knives, etc.), but am not a sponsor of Bowsite as we are simply too small to afford the advertising. I play by the rules and don't advertise. Should this thread blow up and turn into an advertising campaign, I will be straight up with Pat and become a sponsor.
I am offering to help Elmer by donating all profits from sales that are associated with his plight to he and his family.
Please feel free to contact me via PM or email [email protected]; just reference Elmer.
Now's the time to gear up for Christmas and help Elmer out at the same time. Anything you need we'll offer 5% off for you AND donate the profits to Elmer. If you want to pay full retail, we'll donate that 5% to Elmer also.
Thanks and God Bless,
Carl ACE www.aceoutdooressentials.com
Have you considered setting up, or do you already have a Paypal account? That would make it super easy to contribute.
We Bow Brothers stick together in tough times.
Business wise, we do accept Paypal.
For flat out donations, it may make more sense to contact Elmer directly.
If we can help with gear, PP or check (we're too small to be set up for credit card).
Elmer will probably chime in, but he needs to fly out of Anchorage, AK and get to Vermont - long trip and not cheap.
Airline mile donations are GREAT idea, although I have no idea how to go about doing that.
Carl
Mark
To be clear what I'm offering is for guys who are shopping for gear ANYWAY (you all do, I'm sure).
I'll give you the SHOPPER 5% off as a "thank you" and donate the difference between Dealer Cost & Retail (less the 5% incentive) to Elmer.
If someone tells me they don't need/want the discount, then Elmer gets that 5% too.
I don't have a bank account to get him on a plane, but I surely can pass along any profits from this offer to help Elmer. I'm not making a dime on anything sold through this thread.
Don't tell me I'm being cheesy here. You're going to shop for yourself or others for Christmas. Get 5% off sale: good deal for you. And roughly 35% will end up going to Elmer: good deal for him. Win-win, or so I thought.
Hope that comes across clearly?!
We have a lot of other guys on the Bowsite that could do something similar - consider it a challenge.
God Bless,
Carl
This is a good cause. Perhaps Pat could figure a way for donations to go to him and he then transfers it while you do the product part of the donations?
A couple of you have mentioned direct donations. Here is my contact info.
Eric Menck PO box 243983 Anchorage, Ak 99524
907-440-0472 [email protected]
It is a very sad time for me and my family and it is made worse by needing help to get home. It is humbling and embarrassing to need to ask for help. But it is amazing the outreach I am getting.
My dad has inoperable/incurable stage 4 esophageal cancer . Thé Tumor takes up Half thé length of his esophagus. He starts radiation treatment the first of December. It will continue 5. Days a week for the whole month. This is to try and shrink the tumor. They are also going to put a stent in his esophagus in hopes that that will allow him to eat solid/semi solid food again he has been only able to keep liquids down for the last 3 months.
All the treatments are only palliative. Not curative in nature. Docs today say he has 3 months to a year at most left.
The reason for this trip over Christmas is so he can spend time with my 7 year old son. Then as hit time draws to an end we will need to take another trip back. Me and my wife and son live in Anchorage and my mom and dad live in southern Vermont.
I wish we were not in such dire financial need, but due to illnesses of my own I have not been able to work full time for just over 7 years. My family became homeless over this past summer. We now are house sitting till April and possibly longer. Sorry to say that is our situation, and is only compounded by my father's cancer situation.
Thank you to everyone who might be able to help me out, and if you can't, Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
I am humbled and blessed by the Bowsite community.
If you link your paypal account to a bank account you'll be able to transfer paypal funds to your bank account to be able to withdraw it.
Prayers and good thoughts coming your way from CT, (along with a bit of financial help). Stay strong bud, hang in there, you're among friends.
God Bless, Andy Cobb
If anyone has a paypal account, they can help out, just use his email address, [email protected] I think they also ask for the name: Eric Menck
Pretty sure this sort of thing is the best thing about Bowsite.
Jim
How many tickets do you need?
Rick M
Today is my Dad's birthday and I am so thankful he lives very close to me and is very healthy. We were hunting together (helping another Bowsiter on his hunt actually) just this past weekend. The thought of enduring the pain of geographic separation during a situation like Elmer and his Dad are working through is nothing short of brutal. I encourage everyone who is able to help out.
I'm not much into organized Religion, but I do believe there's truth in the words, "There but for the grace of God go I."
More importantly prayers sent for you & your family Elmer!
You guys are awesome!
Carl
To date: Through PayPal have received $300 Regular mail received $0, but I know there are at least 4 donations on the way.
It may not seem like much, but I am beyond grateful for everything that has been sent my way.
Elmer
LTG 11's Link
I am very computer illiterate and even I got this thing figured out. It costs me more than $100 bucks to fill my truck with Diesel. If everyone who opens this thread would contribute just a fraction of that amount to this worthy trip we can unite a family during a very difficult time.
Thanksgiving is next week. Give thanks for the opportunity to share a meal with all those family members you'll share a table with. Let's make sure Elmer and his family are able to spend some time with Elmer's Dad this Holiday Season.
If everyone gave a dollar we would be there with change to spare.
A heartfelt thanks to everyone.
Again, many thanks. Although thanks is not really enough!
Elmer, I pray the Lord will provide for and strengthen you in your hour of need.
"Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you: He will never allow the righteous to be moved.” Psalms 55:22
A big thanks to all who are helping out during a tough time for me and my family!
Matt
I am surprised at the lack of contributions. I thought we would have Elmer on his way already.
Son is doing a little better today, so I might be able to get out and check this afternoon
The bowsite family is incredible.
Give thanks today for all you have, and let's continue to help Elmer and his family.
Thanks and blessings to you all!
Come on guys, if you have not donated yet, today is the perfect day to help a fellow bowhunter in a time of need.
Dad starts radiation treatments to try and shrink the tumor on Monday. He has now eaten semi solid food 3 days in a row now that he has the stent in his esophagus.
Big thanks to everyone!
Today is December 1st and my Dad is being monitored by Multiple Doctors and is mostly non-responsive. After numerous tests (Cat Scans, EKG's, MRI's, X-Ray's, Ultrasounds, Etc.) the top doctors in the region are pretty much dumbfounded. They can tell me a hundred things that his condition is "NOT", but nobody knows what he is battling.
As I reported just a couple weeks ago, we were hunting Oryx together. A month prior we were Bivy hunting for elk together in the Aldo Leopold wilderness. My Dad is my hero!
I'm fortunate in that I can see him every day. Lately he may not know who I am or be able to respond to my affection. He did tell me this evening though, that he loved me. It's not that I ever questioned that because, even as a 34 year old man my Dad would tell me that at every opportunity. My Dad and I share a Father/son bond that is as strong as any love on the planet.
When I originally posted on this thread my entire perspective was different. I never would have thought...in a million years...that my 65 year-old-Dad would be a cause of my concern.
As it is, I am optimistic he'll pull through this situation which his doctors believe to be a viral infection in his brain.
The thought of dealing with this from a remote location, without the ability of holding his hand, kissing his cheek and rubbing his head is not fathomable to me.
Elmer needs to get home to see his Dad and we as Bowsite members...as human beings...need to make sure that happens!!
As many of you recognize, life is precious and brief and also complicated. Our perspective can change in an instant! For years now my Dad has been encouraging me to join him in planning an Alaskan Moose hunt. This is one of his "bucket list" items. He has said repeatedly that "I'm not getting any younger." For me, I have been trying to become "debt free". The hunt he wants to go on would cost me at least 10K.
In light of current circumstances, I would borrow every cent of the 10K at a double digit interest rate to be hunting moose in Alaska with my Dad right now. Circumstances have an uncanny ability to change perspectives and goals.
With that said, it's important to understand that our current circumstances do not define our lives. Who we are is much more important and significant than what we are currently challenged with. Even so, our current challenges provide insight into who we are. During the times in our lives that we are heavily challenged, how do we react? During those [fortunate] times in our lives that we are not being overly challenged with major obstacles, how do we help and support those who need assistance?
There has been a tremendous outpouring of support for me and the situation my Dad is in. I am optimistic he will fully recover. When he does, I'll sacrifice whatever it takes to accompany him on an Alaskan Moose Hunt. In the meantime, there is a Bowsiter who will likely never have the opportunity to accompany his Dad on another hunt. Instead, his current goal is simply to be with his Dad during this difficult time.
If you have not helped yet, I beg you to contribute to this worthy cause. No amount is too small! If you are reading this post you are a part of this Bowsite community. Generally speaking, the definition of a community is a social group who shares common values. If you share my values it's natural that you would make a financial contribution to Elmer and his family.
Regardless of what many believe, this is not a web-based discussion forum about bowhunting issues. Instead this is a web-based discussion forum shared by passionate bowhunters about a variety of important issues.
Elmer, Have you considered flying out there now; and when we finally get the donation total over the hump, having your wife and son join you? Any update on your Dad's condition?
Anyone else have any suggestions on how to get this thread more attention? Paypal is so easy (and FREE) that I really hope bowsiters consider donating, even a dollar or five.
This thread needs to stay on top!
If you haven't contributed something please reconsider, think about what it would be like to lose a loved one without getting to see them one last time or imagine your last interaction with your Mom, Dad, Wife or Child was just a phone call.....
Yesterday dad went and met the doc and team who will be doing his radiation treatments. He starts Radiation this coming Monday. My dad plans to work as long as he can, even through the radiation treatments. He really doesn't have a bucket list of thingshe wants to do. He is in his early 80's and has been working since he was 6 years old. He doesn't know much more than working, and it keeps him from just sitting around waiting for the end.
As far as the timing of the trip back to Vermont to see my dad, well, that is still in negotiations with my mom and dad. Included in Tue conversations are my brother(who lives only 20 minutes from my parents ) and his girlfriend (an rn who has been involved with this kind of stuff for decades) and my 2 best friends who also are medical professionals.
My mom and dad have asked me and my family to wait until after the new year to come visit. My brother has even been asked to give them their space. Their emotions are still very raw, and my mom especially. She just had her final surgery 2 weeks ago from her almost fatal car wreck last year December 3rd, and she is still very low from that, and now adding on my dad's condition has said she just couldn't handle a visit during Christmas. She wants it to be just her and my dad. She said she couldn't handle having even just me come for Christmas. She also wants to physically be able to do things with me and my wife and son and dad, and that would be extremely difficult for her due to the surgery she just had 2weeks ago.
So, I am going to respect my mom's wishes and not travel back, even by myself until after the new year.
So, there you have the latest. It's going to be tough being so far away, but I will deal with it and do my best to make the holidays the best for my wife and son up here in Anchorage.
I will send a donation. I am very confused though about why they don't want you to come now...that is very confusing. This disease can go downhill very quickly and often there aren't second chances. I'd suggest you get there -mom might not be thinking right.
Arctic chill...I pray your dad recovers very quickly. Life really can change on a dime!
That is the best I can explain it right now. It isn't that she doesn't't want us home, she is just so fragile right now she doesn't't want/need any more stress on her. She wants us to come back but not till after the stress of the Christmas season is over.
All the best to you and your family.
I picked my wife up, and headed straight to the orthopedics doc. She had fallen and thought she might have broken her wrist. She did a little more than that She broke the Radius just above the wrist a couple inches. Displaced fracture with some extra bone chips. Was displaced enough that her radius was about 2-1/2 inches shorter than normal. Also looked like 4 bone chips. Doc Re set and splinted everything. Got some good pain killers, and on Monday we go in to see about surgery.
Looks like they are going to need surgery to repair it all. Will know the details Monday afternoon.
And my dad starts radiation treatments on Monday too. Needless to say my stress level is super high. Ugh. Not a good weekend in our house.
I am thankful though that when my wife fell, despite falling backward, she did not hit her head or hurt her neck!!
And....dad's first radiation treatment is tomorrow morning at 9:15 eastern time.
With all this on my mind, I sure hope the combination of meds I am taking knock me out and let me sleep tonight. Hardly slept last night thinking about everything. :0(
Dad had his first radiation treatment today. It went smooth. 14 more to go!
Thanks for asking!
Thanks again for all the help and we'll wishes!!
Dad had his first 5 radiation treatments this week. So far he is tolerating them quite well. And he is happy to be eating small amounts of real food again. Apparently with 3-1/2 months of not being able to keep solid foods down, he has lost a full 35 pounds and has dropped a shirt size. His stomach must have shrunk because he can only eat about 1 cup at a time before he is full.. And Weight loss has slowed a lot too since he can eat a little real food.
And my wife's wrist is healing good after the surgery. She originally had to take pain meds about every 2 hours. Now is only taking one about every 6 hours. Yay!!
My wife is healing well from her surgery. She is off the heavy pain meds and now only taking alleve, and is back to light duty at work.
And donations have stayed at $1700.
That's it for now! Thanks again for all that have helped out!!
He IS able to eat, but still only 1 cup of food or less at a time. He is a tough old goat, hanging in there through it all. Will find out next course of action, if there is any early next week when his radiation treatments are done.
Donation total still at same level, $1700.
Will be talking with my mom after Christmas to nail down more definite plans to get back there to see my dad before he gets too bad!
Another Huge thanks to all who have helped out in a tough time for me and my family!!
is there someone there speaking with the doctors and getting information besides your parents. I have found that in situations like this the best people to fully understand and ask the right questions are often not the two older people closest to the matter. You may need some validation from what they are telling you.
I hope you have someone local that is trustworthy and involved playing that role so you can have confidence that your mom and dad are getting the news and medical details, which can be very complicated, straight and passing on the same to those who care. often when faced with these highly emotional situations denial, fear, or confusion can all lead to misinformation, or incomplete information, being shared.
My discussions on when to go visit have included my brother's input also. I am going to be talking with my brother again later this week.
I don't plan on waiting till my dad's last days. I want to be able to take a few drives someplace with him, find out if there is anything he wants to do.
My discussions on when to go visit have included my brother's input also.
Josh
If that's the case don't wait until he takes a turn for the worse.
Best of luck with all this it is not easy expecailly from 4000 miles away. Bless your family during such a difficult time.
Who knows. My gut feeling is I will probably be headed back sometime in January.
Dad has his last radiation treatment this coming Monday, then a consultation with the doc the next Monday. That consultation will give us a bettter idea of how things are progressing. My Brother and his girlfriend, the RN will be at that consultation.
Thanks for all the advice, kind thoughts and help.
She was ok at first and seemed to react pretty good to the treatments to allow her to eat, but then after a month or so it went down hill quick...
The last 2 months in a nursing home and had no idea where she was at...
I hate to sound negative, but thats how it played out.
You need to get there as quick as possible...with this form of cancer, once it really starts, you may not have time to get there if you keep putting it off...
Let me just share my uncle recently passed away at my hm. He was a highly decorated vet that I admired my whole life. We were very close. He was here seeking treatment and I was trying to help him along. He seemed to be doing ok given the cancer he had and he had driven down here on his own just 1 week earlier. One day he seemed fine but 3 short days later he was gone just like that. It was hard to deal with that and the speed in which it occurred. I called my mom and told her she needed to come fast because I felt he would not be able to ever leave to return to her hm. He just went down hill so fast. My mom came the next day and less than 36 HRS later he was gone.
I would almost beg you to go asap because of how fast these awful things can occur.
Going and seeing him = No regrets.
This usually goes to the brain and you lose the person you knew quickly. Once my father in law got there, it wasn't long.
Get down there before its too late....Better to have your mom bitch at you for comng than to beat yourself up for not making it in time...
Good luck with the plans. I hope that the donations by your Bowsite brothers will help.
All of us are praying for your Mom and Dad.
If anyone reading this hasn't contributed a few bucks to help Elmer and his family with some very expensive travel, please consider doing so. (PayPal is easy and free.)
Here is the contact info.
Eric Menck PO box 243983 Anchorage, AK 99524
907-440-0472
And if you are using Paypal: [email protected]
Happy New Year and God Bless!
Docs are Holt the weakness, phlegm and inability to eat again are just effects from the radiation and that they will subside as he gets further on out of the radiation treatments.
He was so dehydrated that this past Monday and Tuesday he had to get 2 bags of IV fluids each day as well as another 2 bags today.
And to complicate things, docs found a blood clot in one leg that had swelled to twice it's normal size. He is now on anti clotting meds and docs are a little concerned about when the clot breaks up. Can only wait and see.
If the docs are right and his energy returns with passing of time after the radiation and he can get out of the house for a car ride or 3 I will go back again and take him for some rides.
Many thanks again to all those who helped make this trip possible.
