Profanity...
General Topic
After a brief stay on a supposed bowhunting only site, I was banned for complaining. In the administrators rules, it plainly stated, "This is a familys ite, no profanity is allowed and will get you banned..." However, it was filled with people who could make a complete sentence without the F-bomb. I questioned the admins, why have a rule if you don't enforce it? I guess that is what got me banned.
I am far from being a prude. I could cuss with the best of them. Then, some years ago, I heard a recording of me talking with another man about a fishing trip. I sounded just plain stupid and at that point, started working on cleaning my own language up.
My question is, was I out of line? I don't mind being banned, wasn't much of a site to start with. But wonder if I should have just kept my mouth shut and left?
John, being banned from an online forum is a sure sign you are growing up! I wouldn't stress it though. Good luck on your next hunt.
Why would you ask a bunch of internet strangers if your values are in line. You know the answer John. You need no validation from others if you are comfortable with you.
Hope you used some choice words to get your point across to the admins.
I don't mind a swear word here and there but when it's every other word it definitely makes a guy sound uneducated.
"But wonder if I should have just kept my mouth shut and left?"
-Absolutely not. If wisdom is removed from the arenas of our lives, what will prosper? Reminds me of the Burke quote, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
You stood up for principles, yours and what they claimed was theirs. I think you did right. I hate to see a lot of cussing on public sites - or in my classroom at school. ;)
I struggle with this all the time. As a Christian, I try not to use bad language. But as a sinner and human I occasionally slip up. Like others, I can take a few cuss words here and there, but when it is every other word, or obviously used to act tough or "cool" it really gets to me. I usually don't say anything and just take myself out of that situation if I can. But sometimes I speak up if there are women or children in the room, or I cannot remove myself from the situation.
If you had a problem with it, I'm sure others did as well and you did the right thing!
It's one thing to read it on the net, but what I find discouraging is take my 2nd and 6th grade kids to a sporting event and be forced to listen to the drunks go on cussing tirades in public. Try explaining that to your kids. Then again, I also get to try to explain the same garbage on the bumper stickers we see when stopped in traffic. It is a lack of discipline, and poor parenting.
When you write, text or type words down you brain has a chance to reflect on what your trying to say. Even then at times there is a slip or a gesture to get a point across. But to type out F-bombs frequently is just unacceptable, ridiculous and demeaning to any conversation. I also think you did the right thing John. Wish I would have confronted a young lady at the airport who was loudly talking on the phone with someone she was not happy with on the other end. Every other word was an F-bomb and made others around her including myself very uncomfortable.
+2 crusader dad. My feelings exactly @#$&*!
I figure I can't control what others say on an internet forum. That said, some folks have certain words ingrained into the regular vocabulary and they say them without even realizing it. I think we all have verbal mannerisms. I've come across some folks with certain "dialects" (ie....Brooklyn-ese or Boston-ese) that seem to have f-bombs as the main adjective of their vocabulary. They're not bad folks, it's just a vocal habit they picked up somewhere along the way and it stands out in a room or conversation.
JL, that's true, we call our neighbor uncle F. He doesn't even have any idea he is saying it. But to type F-bombs doesn't seem the same to me in respect to the language as it seems a conscious and deliberate action.
Its just like getting kicked out of a hillbilly bar. My buddy is a judge and two years ago ran a marsthon in ireland. They stopped at a pub and he was kicked out for being too drunk in ireland by two russian bouncers. His daughter protested by saying that they shouldn't kick him out because she was drunker than he was. Faulty logic....they then kicked her out too. Happens to the best of us.
I sometimes swear. Sometimes I even type out a swear word though rarely. I personally feel they are just words and say more about the person saying them than anything else. I've raised my kids not to use them even though I'm sure they do when I'm not around, just like I was raised not to use them and did when my folks couldn't hear me. This is life, don't take the small things so seriously. Stand by your values and what is important to you. Sounds like you did that, good for you Bowriter.
There was a lot written about where certain Germans ended up in late 1945. Some ended up blending back into German society. Some ended up in Brazil. Most ended up becoming moderators for websites. Zee huff nein humor nor being told zee are inconsistent. Good day. I said GOOD DAY.
I think it starts out as teenagers pushing boundaries and thinking they are cool. Most grow out of it, with the occasional cuss word thrown in (I am as guilty as anyone). When I hear someone that can't control it that sends a quick message to me about where they are at in life. I probably would have just left the site as it's really not my 'principles' that are offended but just recognize the people I am dealing with.
Depends on what end of the stick of 'Deadwood' you living in, good example of society.
I simply can not take anyone seriously that can't get through a sentence without a few f bombs and would never do business with that person. They may be totally fine, but it's not worth the chance. It reeks of immaturity, not that I'm "fully baked" yet ;) Perception matters.
I've been banned by several sites - the admin / moderators have total control, its not always fair or even etc
eff 'em :)
You got banned for complaining over there, and now you're complaining about it here?
I think excessive cussing makes people sound immature, I always think "THAT'S the smartest word you could come up with to fill in the gap?" And, like Grasshopper said, I have small kids and have a hard time taking them to fun places like a baseball game, or even the zoo some days, where people aren't respectful enough to watch their language around kids.
My handle is knothead because that is what my dad used to call me when I was a youngster and would do/say something stupid. About 10-12 years ago I used to go by a different name and then I posted something stupid about someone whom I did not know personally. He called me out on it and I felt like an idiot and it reminded me of when my dad used to call me knothead. That is when I changed my handle.
My dad used to tell me, people who use profanity are not smart enough to express themselves so they resort to the lowest form of communication. Not to say that I don't use the language from time to time but it is certainly not a part of my normal vocabulary.
Long story short, you have to live with the words you use so use them wisely.
I grew up in the Church and I understand that the mouth is what can get you in trouble. In the 8 years active duty Air Force I was taught that it's was no different. (The mouth can get you in trouble.) Just in a different way. Profanity seemed like the norm in the Military. I got pretty bad with my mouth. Then I did the same thing you did John. I listened to myself and I thought how stupid I must sound if I can't even speak a full sentence without cursing. So I work diligently to bring my mouth under control even today. A Christian should always strive to be Christ like. It isn't easy.
I am a moderator on a NJ site... If I see something really over the top i would just edit and perhaps send a message to the OP to tone it down... I can't see banning, unless it's clearly a troll looking for trouble. Sometimes a good curse word can really make the difference when used as an adjective properly... That is where special symbols come in handy. For example , what sounds better:
I just blew it on a huge buck?
I just ####### blew it on a huge buck?
I just blew it on a huge ####### buck?
I just ####### blew it on a huge ####### buck?
See you can effectively use it when neccessary, and circumvent the profanity policy while still getting your point across.
I post for the 97.2% that never post but just lurk. You’d be surprised how many young kids read the threads. I learned a lot from adults while growing up. Some Good and Some bad!
Doesn't sound like you did anything unreasonable. Of course, if you came off overly-patronizing, they may have banned you for that.
As far as cussing, I do it way too much, especially because part of my life I'm a father and a professional and not hanging around other men. But it really only bothers me if I cuss in front of my kids, which I shouldn't do. And it doesn't bother me if others cuss, so long as they don't around my kids.
Lastly, I think that typing a cuss word and saying one are completely different. You can take the typed cuss word back.
I remember a couple years ago two TV celebrity brothers ("DROPPED") were hunting in (Alaska I believe) and through the entire show the used the "F" bomb, and other cuss words, constantly (it was bleeped of course). Now, no matter what show they are on I immediately change the channel.
I tend to get wound up when working on my truck or house. Coaching, I keep it clean no matter what. If we really blow a meet I go off alone and vent to the woods. I hate the F word but am guilty of using it when I flip out on my truck. Have been making an honest effort to use freaking instead. As a Christian, I hate hearing God's name in vain. The trouble with cussing is that those words are so easy to pronounce and become ingrained as we use them.
Ground Hunter,,I'm a master carpenter of 35 yrs,,,I still swear loudly when I hit my finger ..lol. Def a part of swinging a hammer,,as far as being offended by others swearing,,,just another example of the thin skin of modern USA,,,hey I don't. Live with y'all,married to you,or HAVE to read your posts,,,but I read em ,cussing or not,,,every person on has had a very frustrating hunt moment!! Live and let live.....
As I said above I think you were right in voicing your principles. We forget sometimes what influence we have on kids. I don't cuss (OK, I try not to cuss), my 87 year old mother would still whoop my hind end (she doesn't even like the word butt), if she heard me. Here's another thing or two that came to mind reading some of the comments.
When Duck Dynasty was first aired, there were several bleeped parts in the first episode. Trouble was the Robertson's don't cuss, the producers put it in there to make it sound "more real". Think about that in regards to where we are in the entertainment industry.
Years ago (or so I'm told), a lineman was called in to the office because of a complaint and was asked what happened. He said, "well, it was like this, me and Joe was working on a line and he was above me. He dropped a 8 inch spud wrench and it hit me square on top of the head. I looked at him and said, 'Joe, I wish you wouldn't do that. Kindly be more careful in the future'."
It's amazing how many women, cultured, professional women, use swear words in everyday casual conversation when there aren't any children around. I think its a sign of our evolving society, influenced by what we see on movies and TV.
You wouldn’t believe the mouths on the milennial-type girls I work with... they remind me of a guy I knew in college who couldn’t get through a sentence.... Everybody knew him as Jimmy F######g Callaghan, except in polite company, where he was referred to as James F.
But I may be having an influence at work. Enough people have noticed that I don’t swear much that some of them have started apologizing when they drop a bomb with me in the room....
Either that or they’re just starting to think of me as the Old Guy....
never understood how peppering normal communication with simple little one syllable words makes people think they are smarter, clearer, or more influencial in conveying their thoughts. it's actually just the opposite.
I would like to know how swear words were labelled as such. Political Correctness must have been around for a long (choose word of your choice) time!
Working in a brewery for 26.5 years the woman tend to talk worse than drunken sailors.
Never offends me much it’s become the norm at work
As I may have mention a few times, I counsel recovering alcoholics and other addicts. The women-young women are far more foul mouthed than the men. I take for a while, then, tell them clean up their language of they expect to get a job. Never could figure out why the females were so foul mouthed.
When EF Hutton talks, people should listen.
Amen brother!
EF Hutton is spot on.
I’ve never minded it one bit. The only exception being in the company of, small children and women. Other than that, you guys need to grow a set.
There is nothing worse than a reformed, anything.
I don’t know if Pat has seen this but one of his rules from the day this site started was no profanity, even using disguised letters because it is a family site and youngsters do visit here.
No Phil, what is funny is you are here passing judgment .
About twenty years ago myself and my old jehova witness neighbor went turkey hunting. I was the caller and doing the videoing also. A big Tom came into our calling and my buddy loaded his face with #4s. We jumped around and said more F-bombs than what was scripted for the movie scarface.
We loaded our stuff up and went home. The next day we got together and watched the video. It was hard to listen to. F that, F this, holy Fn S--t... it was horrid. I still cuss, just refrain from doing it on video and a much as possible nowadays.
By the way... we called that hunt the "cuss fest Tom". :)
Ya'll want to hear foul language? Try meeting your kids or grandkids at the bus stop once in a while.
I enjoy Steve Rinella' Meateater podcast but I turn them off when my six year old granddaughter is in the car because of his language. Kind of a shame imo but it is his podcast and his business.
Excessive Tattoos, graffitti and profanity are the bane of society.
Btw, I'm guilty, and am like Rut Nut. Starts with whats in your heart, and then comes out the mouth. Fix the heart, fixes the mouth. I am working on it. Far better than I was, but still alot to conquer, in the heart.
Well, want to talk about your guilty... I freely admit, I had the foulest mouth going down the pike. I learned it from some Marines. But I also learned, I did not want my lips burned by an angel with a glowing coal to cure unclean lips. And...there was common sense.
I don't care what your kids or grandkids hear at a bus stop. They can also buy dope, there. Is that okay, too?
Color me guilty - I swear quit a bit except when in mixed company and/or around others who don't swear.
I NEVER, EVER take God's name in vane and will almost always correct someone who does ... that to me is just plain wrong and it makes no difference to me if anyone disagrees with me on that or not.
Profanity is the common crutch of the conversational cripple. . . . . . . David Keuck
My bet is that it had nothing to do with profanity.
I've worked construction and steel mill jobs my whole life. That's how we converse there, to a large degree, in that man's man world. But even us roughians turn it off in mixed company or when respect is called for... most of us anyway... those who do care to show, and expect, respect. I'm going to meet several redneck, millhunky coworker/friends right now for an evening gathering with our wives and our kids... and we'll be gentlemen.... just like I am here with you guys, or any other message board I visit, even within our most bitter disagreements. It isn't difficult.
" Starts with whats in your heart, and then comes out the mouth. Fix the heart, fixes the mouth. I am working on it. Far better than I was, but still alot to conquer, in the heart."
Couldn't agree more. "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." - Jesus
For those of you who are Christ-ians (literally "followers of Christ").....
Eph 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (NIV)
(KJV) "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth" (ASV) "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth" (BLB) "Do not let any unwholesome word go forth out of your mouth" (HCSB) "No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear"
Seems pretty clear to me what God's opinion is on the matter. Not trying to be a judge in any way as "unwholesome talk " is something I struggle with as well, however it is important to realize that as a Christian it is not a good practice. That, and as others have said, it definitely comes off as uneducated. I also think cussing is something that is usually only necessary to those who are insecure and feel the need to promote their own bravado. Not casting stones because I am guilty of that at times for sure!
Well put, deerslayer......my sentiments exactly. I think you did well standing for your personal convictions on the matter, Bowriter. I found your reference to Isaiah 6 to be both refreshing and quite unexpected. If one believes there is a "supreme being".....God/Creator.....then a video that embarassed you about your cussing is only a small sample of how impure it is to ONE who is truly Holy.
Profanity is the cayenne spice of language. There are times where it effectively conveys the passion of a moment with some zest, but becomes overbearing with too heavy an application.
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I have to laugh about the euphemistic use of symbols in place of the actual profanity though. Substituting symbols for the actual letters (Which are symbols themselves) does nothing other than cause the readers to translate and swear in their heads. The same as if the cursing were spelled out in regular English. Nonsensical. Like when he evening news talking heads employ the term " The N-Word". Great. The bubble-headed, bleach blond has a clear conscience and I have a racial epithet in my head.
But I digress. I read some of the carpentry comments and had to share a story. I built a garden fence for my then fiance, now wife. We got married in front of it.
I installed rabbit fencing on the interior. Stretching the very last run of the wire rabbit fence, I had to work to pull the last corner right to get a large staple into something other than the edge of the post. I just didn't have enough hands.
So I requested some assistance from my then fiance, now wife. I told her that I'd stretch the fence and asked her to set the staple and drive it in.
Tap. Tap. Tap. She got the staple started and moved her hand to the side.
Whack!!!
Somehow, she swung the hammer and squarely hit her thumb on the nail... At least six inches away from the staple. Her thumbnail split from side to side and some blood started flowing. Her eyes went wide and started watering. She inhaled sharply and just froze.
I told her that she needed to swear and get some ice on her thumb right away. She headed into the house to find some ice and I followed momentarily.
When I got into the house, I found her sitting on the kitchen floor, splay-legged, with her back against a cabinet, holding her thumb. She had no ice.
The shock of mashing her thumb so exquisitely had apparently caused her to forget to breathe and she was light-headed with the room swooning by the time she got to the kitchen.
Since it is impossible to swear without breathing, I would suggest that, in limited circumstances, cussing is a medical necessity.
We have three kids now. When my wife burns herself, closes her fingertips in a drawer or cuts herself, she'll mutter some nonsensical, substitute word or phrase. "Fudge!" "Gol darn it!" " Oh, snap! "
Not too long ago, our oldest said, " Mom. We all know what you mean. Why don't you just say it? "
We're actively working to counteract the influence of the schools and pop culture. So, even though the kid had a valid point, I extolled the virtues of polite speech and substitution of a euphemism as a lesser evil than vulgarity, as a stop gap in the heat of the moment.
I'm a #¥€?ing hypocrite.
deerslayer x 3.
I am not perfect and mean not to imply that I am. I still slip up from time to time. I also agree with others that it is a sign of ignorance. However, the one thing that will ensure that I leave, tell you of your ignorant actions, or other wise tell you to leave is if you repeatedly use the word GD.
orionsbrother, well written and accurate. Thank you!
What's the name of the site? I'd fit right in! Lol
Personally, I try to live my life where there is nothing that I say that I can't say in front of my kids. I feel the same way about my actions. If I can do it or say it in front of my kids or at church I am never going to be embarrassed of my actions or my tongue. Am I always successful? No...I often say and do things I wish I didn't. God does not remember my sin but society does and my actions here on Earth unfortunately have consequences.
George Patton always said that real gentleman should be able to swear for 5 minutes straight without ever repeating himself. Recent research shows that people who swear the most are also the smartest.
I told somebody yesterday that if the F word wasn't in her vocabulary she would be speechless.
"Marist College is a private, coeducational liberal arts college, located in the U.S. state of New York, within the Hudson River Valley in the town of Poughkeepsie. "
OB- Well done. However, your hammer-swinging partner was not commenting on a deer or the person that posted the deer. I too, have occasionally hung an fishing lure in a tree branch. We are not talking about the occasional oath, but a steady diatribe of F-bombs.
To look at me, you'd think the worst; but looks can be deceptive, and many are judgmental and foolish. Plain & simple you did right. If the entire World thought like you, we'd live in a fine place.
In the world of social massaging, not all kangaroo moderators adhere to the same rules....
