WORST FAIL STORIES
Wisconsin
Thought it might be fun to make fun of ourselves, as we have all experienced failing miserably at one time or another. Looking for good stories where it DID NOT GO RIGHT...forgot my release, arrow fell off nock, terrible shots, dropped something out of stand and spooked a monster, sneezed and scared them etc etc. I know there's gotta be some good stories within this crowd.
opening day of rifle season years ago...drove to where I walk into woods by stand an hour and a half before first light. Get my gear together, go to load up rifle and realize I have the wrong ammo in my bag. Turns out 30-30 wont fit in a 270. Drive back to cabin tearing the place apart for ammo and find 5 rounds. Return to stand walk in..gets light 25 minutes later and I'm surrounded by blaze orange. Yet another reason bow hunting is so much better.
High ankle sprain the week before bow open several seasons ago, hobbled my way out to a stand and up the ladder with an air-cast on (hurt alot!) only to realize I didn't put quiver on my bow.........
First deer i ever pulled back on i bumped the release trigger and busted my lip open. Sat bleeding adn dazed while the deer walked off.
About 5 years ago, i had the biggest buck i ever hunted patterned and down to a science. Waited for the right day and sure enough, right down the trail he comes. I get buck fever, fired a shot that i believe went really low. tracked that thing for a combined 5 hours with about 10 people before giving up. Next year got a bloodhound to help out.
also did this dandy of a shot last month. http://youtu.be/cbh_5j5AcOA
I got lots of em'.
I failed just two days ago. Took my quiver off my bow. Three new carbon arrows, three new broadheads, and the quiver, and set them on my rear bumper after the evening's hunt. Put the bow in the case, took off my camo from my pack and put it in my tote, and drove off. Next day I pull out my bow and guess what? 80 bucks gone! Beauty is, I drove through a picked wheat field, and you'd think it would have fell off there in the uneven field? Nope! Must have hit the road at my first turn, and gone!
FAIL!
So many to chose from when I was in my teens.....
Pulled back on a doe and sliced my finger open on my broadhead(flipper rest) and when I noticed, I quickly let down from full draw causing bow to unstring. Sat awhile with azzwipe on my finger and a unstrung bow until I realize there was no reason to be sitting anymore.
1st 2 years, I'd always hold my bow on my lap, accidently unnocking my arrows when holding my bow on my lap. always went two-three arrow a sit. Once dumped an arrow and as I grabbed another, the quiver fell also. Stuck in the ground by the nocks.
In the beginning, we used the "game trackers". Not only are they exciting to watch as the string runs out as the deer run away but especially fun when the only reason is because the dental floss is wrapped around a leg.
One time I missed at 5 deer in on morning using the dental floss. My dad came up and there was floss everywhere.
Not really "fails" but stupid stuff that happens when hunting.
Remember duck hunting with my dad, he went to take a dump. When he came back, he stunk like snit. He crapped up the inside of his waders. Priceless.
Probably should have a "crap" thread as I'm sure everyone has a good story;)
Years ago took my son out for his first youth hunt. Had everything packed and ready to go. We walked into the blind in the dark, got settled in and told my son he could load the gun. What I forgot to do was to take off the trigger lock to the gun. So here we were, about 3/4 mile in with a gun that had a lock on it. I took off towards the truck as I was trying to get a cell signal and finally got the wife on the phone to grab the lock keys and met me at the parking spot. After 45 minutes she arrived and I raced back in and unlocked the gun. After 2 hours my son took a nice doe as his first deer. I always now make certain I have the keys to the locks before leaving the house.
My favorite rut stand is best accessed from the backside of a very steep ridge. I got all my stuff ready for the day long sit and started the climb - taking it slow to not build up a sweat. I was about 9/10ths of the way up the hill when I realized I had left my BOW in the back of my pickup.
Let's just say I didn't make it to my stand before first light ... and I was soaked.
Geitz, string trackers lol. I still have mine and two spools. I loved them. Used them a lot in the 80's and 90's. The problem was, you had to shoot it a couple times before using it. The wax in the spool would melt, then solidify if it got warm then cool again, and would give you nightmares. I was just a kid, and I shot at a doe with the orange string (more wax than the white string), and I watched my arrow stop in mid air, and fall about three feet short of her. I killed several deer with that stuff, and had a few malfunctions as well. I thought about trying it again, for schitz and giggles, because it was fun watching the string run out of your spool as if you had a big eye tuna on the other end. You could hear the death run, and watch the string as it burned out. If you had a pass-through, it would stick in the ground, and the string would basically thread through the deer. They hated the added burn, and would often times stop and die in front of you.
Too many to type. 1977, turkeyday, 30 below, big buck at 30 yards and my 1100 slug gun was froze solid. Took 3 hours inside to even open the action. No more wd-40 cleaning.
Nite before the gun opener, all u can eat spaghetti! Awesome,carb load time,washed down with a few Point Blue Bulletts... 7am..Perfect conditions.....beads of sweat on forehead forming, rectum dialated 9 cm's, water breaks, 30 seconds to strip off blaze orange safety vest, coat, bibs, underwear and arcing warm liquid scent masking batter off a 20 foot gun tower.Coons were vomiting.
Forgot release,drop release out of tree, 20 yard pin torn off in the dark, peep fills with ice,shoot a judo,use a 64' BSA compass and then realize the sidepin needs to be pulled for the needle to float,........endless.
These are classics! Although right now Novemberforever has my vote. 2010 doing a drive during rifle season, I of course opt for the thick and nasty portion of the drive. 10 minutes in and Im regretting wearing all of the clothing and heavy boots. sweating my azz off I come upon a very steep ridge, by this point I am pissed off, have not seen a deer yet, been slapped in the face by thicket brush, eye is now tearing up, burrs stuck all over me and I'm climbing a 200 yard steep hill. Get to the top, lean on the tree to catch my breath as I see a 140-150 chasing 3 does on the bottom of said hill. Never even got the gun to my shoulder. Fail.
"beads of sweat on forehead forming, rectum dialated 9 cm's, water breaks, 30 seconds to strip off blaze orange safety vest, coat, bibs, underwear and arcing warm liquid scent masking batter off a 20 foot gun tower.Coons were vomiting"
Yep, pretty good.
Muzzy hunting about 4 years ago. Over did it the night before on cheap beer. Rain hard earlier and still foggy and misting. Had to walk about 500 yards in a plowed field and everything started gurgling. So muddy and sticky my boots kept getting stuck. I was so very close to getting layer off and clear. Difficult phone conversation with the wife on why she needed to leave a towel in the garage.
Still laughing on Geitz's and November's incidents. Did it ice fishing but not hunting - yet.
Great thread. Keep 'em coming.
At age 24, I thought I knew everything there was to know about bow hunting in just my first year trying. I decided to still hunt with a bow Connors Woods near Pickerel, WI. I picked a day about as dry, quiet, and sunny as you will ever find. While working my way back to the cabin, I decided to walk right through this area of thick tangles that usually held deer. Halfway through, I got the hot gurgles and had to stop to squat and scream without warning. I barely had time to set my bow down and drop my pants when the rush of fluid hit! At the moment of splatter crapping, I noticed I was in the middle of at least a dozen bedded deer. They were still as statues watching me. The second I reached for my bow, they exploded out of the thicket jumping in every direction. I still laugh when I think about it.
Barack Obama, top that one.
Hunting in the UP when deer were 120+ per Sq mile. Had a doe on my bait as I walked in but passed on the 15yd ground shot because our bet was the shortest time to shoot a deer AFTER we got in our stand. The deer trotted off 50yds and watched me climb up in the tree, as I was pulling the bow up she came right back in. With the rope still tied to the bow I nocked an arrow and started to draw back WHAM! my fist smacks my face and the arrow flies harmelessly into the trees. Nock next arrow WHAM, do it again? WTH? Then I realized that some bark was caught in my release so I blew it out (all the time the doe is looking at me like I'm an idiot and at this point I can't disagree with her!) Nock the third arrow and start to pull back WHAM third time, now my lip is starting to swell! Blow the release out again, ram my finger behind the trigger and try it again with my last arrow, praise the Lord it worked! Put the pin on the chest and pull the trigger - dead deer in under 2 minutes from getting into the stand!
Or this one. The first week of January one year I'm driving buy the local Shopko store and the sign out front says "All Tree Stands 75% Off". I do a U turn and darn near ran to their anemic sporting goods department and asked where the tree stands were that are on special. She said they were all in the trim a tree section! They were stands for christmas trees!
This is what bowsite is about - GREAT stories guys! Thanks!!
Back when guys first started using ATV's for deer hunting I bought a Honda 125 3-wheeler. Came around the corner of some deadfall in Connors woods with my gun in a scabbered attached to the wooden box I had made to carry all my gear. Passed four guys looking pretty whipped from not having any luck and feeling pretty smug I gassed it as I passed. I hit a bump in the logging road and the box I made with nails exploded like someone dropped a grenade in it sending pieces in all directions as my gun flew by me at about 25 mph. They laughed so hard, they about pissed themselves as I sheepishly picked up the pieces of my masterpiece. Needless to say, I bought a Koplin box that winter.
Dragging a buck for two hours with no compass only to come to the gut pile again, knew direction then. Should have listened to Dad more back then.
Elk, reminds me of a couple of years ago my brother and I were in Canada and he shot a buck, trailed it and gutted it out then came and got me for the drag. First it took us two hours to find it again then we started dragging it the direction WE KNEW was the road. I had my fancy new GPS so I turned it on and clipped it to my belt. After an hour of dragging I looked at it and the trail showed almost a perfect circle. We honestly didn't know if we were in Ontario or Manitoba! We put in a waypoint, hung a orange shirt above it to both deter wolves and to hopefully find it the next morning. Went back in and found that we were only about 200yds from the road.
Moral of the story? Don't let the wilds of Canada be the first time you try to learn how to use a new GPS
I went on a family goose hunt in horicon. Got there and as we are getting ready to go to sleep on Friday night realized goose tags were still in LaCrosse. Drove back got them got back as everyone was getting dressed for the hunt. Slept through most of morning hunt.
Crap story alert. The best crap stories don't involve me but my hunting buddies.
For any of you guys that have hunting dogs you probably already know about Labs and human crap. If someone craps in the woods they WILL find it. And they WILL roll in it.
A number of years ago I was turkey hunting with a pal and he had to answer an urgent call from nature. A day later the black Lab found it and returned with a big grin on her face and covered with human feces. My lovely wife gave Bob a pair of long rubber gloves, the doggie shampoo and pointed him towards the hose in the garage and told him not to return without a squeeky-clean dog. No sooner did he get the dog nice and wet and about to apply the shampoo than that hunting dog decided she needed to shake. Revenge!
Long story short after several episodes of this my wife put her foot down and made it abundantly clear that there would be no further people poop in the woods without conditions. The choice was bring a trowel and dig a hole and bury it or hike back to the house and use the indoor plumbing. She struck fear in the hearts of grown men.
Last year at deer camp one of the guys felt the urgent call and he had no trowel and no azz wipe. He started a brisk hike back to the house and didn't make it - filling his britches in the process.
He claimed it was my cooking. Everyone laughed until the the tears came...
My daughter married a really nice guy that hails from Hattiesburg Mississippi. A number of years ago we were visiting the kids and their family and son-in-law's dad Invited me to join him bow hunting. He and a few other guys had a lease on a school forest outside of town.
Off we went. They gave me a climbing stand and sort of pointed me in the right directing of a natural funnel. I hate climbing stands but I secured the rickety think on a long leaf pine and ratcheted myself up the tree.
We've all been busted by a sneeze, an arrow falling off a rest, clearing the throat, failing to take note of a deer sneaking up behind you - etc.
So, I'm up in the tree and sure enough here comes a rather nice buck (by Mississippi standards) chasing a couple of does. And he's going to cross directly in front of me from right to left presenting me with a broadside shot.
As I begin to draw all hell breaks loose. Ear-shattering noise, the tree is swaying like it's in a gale and the deer vamoose.
A Blackhawk helicopter at tree-top height has come out of nowhere and the prop-wash nearly blows me off that cheap climbing stand. Absolute chaos.
The lease was smack-dab adjacent to Camp Shelby.
First and last time in my life a chopper ruined my hunt.
What? I never miss and have always been perfect and if you believe that I have some ocean front property in AZ I will see you too.
Too many to mention but I will think of a few good ones and post them when I have more time.
Had an epic fail last season.
One of my bear clients had a huge Fail a few years back. Back in the day once you drew your WI bear tag you had a certain deadline to buy your license by. I told him about this and so did the information he received. This hunter was from North Dakota, drove all the way to Wisconsin for his bear hunt, thought he could buy it over the counter when he got here. I felt terrible, he felt embarrassed. It was a long ride back home.
Another bear hunter after his first day of bear hunting, came back to camp, was going to build a fire, it was dark out, went behind his tent to find kindling for his fire and walked off a 10 cliff, fractured his ankle. DNR gave him back his tag for the following year, he was very excited to redeem himself from the year before. He shot a bear the first day, 10 minutes on stand, had a cameraman film his hunt, he was so excited to show me the footage, before I got to his stand to get his bear he rewound the tape to show me but he forgot, he ended up recording over his kill shot(big Fail)). Ironically this year he drew another tag after waiting 8 years, he made up for his mistakes. Another cameraman was with him, he shot a beautiful chocolate colored phase bear 205lbs.
"The first week of January one year I'm driving buy the local Shopko store and the sign out front says "All Tree Stands 75% Off". I do a U turn and darn near ran to their anemic sporting goods department and asked where the tree stands were that are on special. She said they were all in the trim a tree section! They were stands for christmas trees! "
That is big time funny Zinger!!!
"road hunting" with my dad RIP, when I was 14 or 15 years old..late rifle season just driving main firelanes....I'm drifting off after days of being up at 4 am. We come around a corner, I look up to see what looks like one of those Whitetail calendar pictures, a GIANT chocolate racked buck standing just off the road, with a huge doe right beside him. DAD!!! we both reach for gun cases and are unzipping panicking to grab guns, the deer slowly turn and trot at a slow pace away. I'm running down the road to position for a shot, I see my dad next to me also running, I look back and see the truck rolling down the hill- STILL IN GEAR! I run back, jump in and park it. run back pick up gun, now my dad 100 yards down and in front of me- I have no shot and he cant see the deer. Buck fever, happens to all of us!
Went and sat one morning in late October a few years back. The wind was completely wrong for my set up so I decided to go scout a piece of public land that looked like it would be good.
All of a sudden during the middle of my scouting walk I had an emergency situation. I dropped my droors and took care of business. Finally about 5 minutes later, I had all of my clothes back on. I took no more than five steps from where I had just taken a massive dump, and a guy in full camo stands up in the middle of a blown down tree. He sticks his arms straight out and just shakes his head. I whispered "Sorry!" and walked the other direction.
I guess it wasnt an ultimate fail for me, but it most certainly was for the guy sitting 20 yards away. He was hidden so well, I never even knew he was there. I probably should have noted what camo pattern he was wearing!
"All of a sudden during the middle of my scouting walk I had an emergency situation. I dropped my droors and took care of business. Finally about 5 minutes later, I had all of my clothes back on. I took no more than five steps from where I had just taken a massive dump, and a guy in full camo stands up in the middle of a blown down tree. He sticks his arms straight out and just shakes his head. I whispered "Sorry!" and walked the other direction."
That made me laugh out loud. Hilarious!
opening morning a few years ago, walking in in the dark I stop at a tree to take care of business. I have quite a walk and I'm taking my time to air out. All done, buttoning up a light shines on me and there's a guy in a treestand 15 yds. away. Never said a peep til I was done??? I shot a nice buck a couple hours later which of course made me feel better
Best thread I've seen on the WI board thus far. I am digging the stories and humor.
Gun hunting with my Dad when I was 15 years old. We're up near Portage in some big Wildlife area. Driving through the middle of the area on paved road to get to the other side. The middle of this wildlife area was a restricted preserve....no hunting. No laws against "talking to a man about a horse," though. My Dad stops the car and I walk 20 yards into the woods to take care of my business.
Walk back out, open the door to the car, and 30 yards in front of us we see the caravan. I had no clue, but I had just pushed at least 40 deer out of a bedding area. I can't tell you how many of those deer had horns...big horns.
We didn't see another deer the rest of the season, and the 40 deer we did see we couldn't shoot at.
If I posted all my fails, you'd have an hour of reading material.
Few years back, went bow hunting after work, mid-December. Parked where I always park, change into all my gear...forgot my boots. "Damn-it!!" I didn't want to drive back home, so the heck with it. Sprayed my dress shoes down with scent killer and walked out to my stand. Saw no deer, but acquired two really cold feet.
Good stuff, love these! Last year a friend and I camped out in his old Yellowstone camper (along with the mice). The night before our first hunt we decided to go out for the all-u-can-eat walleye and do some shining on the way back. Since we took my vehicle, I put my bow and arrows in his. The next morning he got into his vehicle and drove 2 miles around to the backside of the property, of course with my bow and quiver. Luckily, I was able to reach him by text and he told me where to find the keys (that's also when I learned what LMFAO meant). A week later, hunting with the same buddy, I managed to drop a decent 8ptr at 7am. I texted him with the news and asked if he had any luck. He said he hunted right behind the camper and saw a 7ptr. I asked him if he got a shot at the buck, he said "I would have but my arrows are back home in my garage. Karma!
We use to have a guy when he was younger never bring TP in the woods. When he had to go he would cut out his tighty whities with a buck knife wipe and hang up in a tree for all to see (He thought that was funny). This went on for many years.
I have gone by "paddle boy" at camp for many years. It was the Monday after opening weekend of rifle season about 5 to 6 years ago. The beaver ponds on our land had just enough ice cover that a deer could make it across and thats it. My uncle pushed an area that deer normally bed in large numbers and have no choice but to run out on the Ice. He only kicked out one Doe but she was huge. I shot her out on the Ice and knew I hit her because she slid around 360 and then she disappeared into the swamp. I knew id be getting wet, it was just enough ice that a canoe was useless. I didn't want to ruin my rifle so I brought rope and a paddle. I used the paddle to make my way in the shallow water breaking a path through the ice and still falling over as I went. Of course when I finally found her she jumped up but bedded down only 20 yards away. No Gun, freezing cold I decided to try and approach again. She let me walk right up next to her about 10 yards to her left and she just kept looking in the direction I had came like she knew what was about to happen. I stood behind her debating if I should try and throw a loop around her neck or try and bash her over the head with the paddle. I decided that the rope Idea would not have worked out to well. I was scared shitless, she was the same size as me, and all I could think about is her kicking the crap out of me as I practiced half swings over her head. Finally I raised the paddle High over my head and brought it crashing down right between her ears on the back of her head. PADDLE BREAKS into three pieces the middle section with pole and two side panels. She bolted which shocked me even more because I did not think she had that much life left in her, she ran out of sight and it was over. I was freezing to death, pretty literally at that point. I walked a long ways back to the cabin with nothing but the handle of the paddle in my hands. Warmed up and put dry cloths on and went back out after her. Spent the whole evening and the next day looking and never did find her, there was just no more blood to be found. Looking back I can't believe the decisions I made, but I guess it goes to show when your well into the stages of hypothermia your brain makes some poor choices.
A guy that used to hunt with us for decades a)Is the only guy to fall out of our treestands, he did it twice.b)Building a stand, he almost chainsawed the limb he was sitting on, same tree,sameday he lost his index finger running it thru a block and tackle. Our GSP was trying to eat his finger all the way to the Shawano ER c)Forgot his scentkiller so in the dark decided to use natural foilage on his face, it was poison sumac. He looked like he went 10 rounds with leon spinks d)dropped a buck with his slug gun, tagged it then the buck jumped and was never seen again.
Bigwoods42, awesome thread. This is what should be on here, wisdom and humor.
First bow hunt last year, public land. Perfect wind for my best spot, pull into the parking area at 3:30AM. No cars there yet and a huge smile. Work my way back to my spot very slowly using cars on the county highway to mask my noise (few cars on the road at that time). 90 minutes later, as I approach my spot I think I see a pinpoint orange glow. Slowly get closer and I see a guy chain smoking 5 feet from my best spot with a gun over his shoulder. Get close to him and he sees me, waves frantically. Worker from a nearby farm squirrel hunting. I tried to tell him you don't need to get up this early to hunt squirrels and please don't do it at this particular spot. Given the language barrier and the fact he was there first I decided to just move on.
Got permission to hunt a farm right next to a huge farm were a number of good bucks have been taken. Only issue was permission was given 2nd weekend in Nov. So we had to scout and then gun hunt the farm. My dad suggested we care our bows and scout. My brother and I said no we are carrying stands and climbing sticks. No bows, we were teenagers we knew everything. We had never been one the farm just knew it was good. Well you guessed it walk right up on a big buck with a great shot opportunity. Then when I grunted a big 10 point ran right at us. I had a 10 yard shot wide open at him but no bow. Finally it grunted and took off and a third buck came charging in and my dad missed him. Should have carried my bow because we never saw a big buck after that on that farm.
I've had three major blunders in my deer hunting career.
First one, It is the 4th day of gun season, and I am in my stand over looking a 10 acre over grown former farm field. A hot doe comes out, with a decent buck trailing her. They stop 125 yards away in the field. I aim my 30.06 and fire, and fire, and fire, etc. .... empty clip, deer are STILL standing there! put in new clip with another 5 bullets, and begin firing again, but this time, I am resting my gun on the side of my stand, and really concentrating on my aim. Well 5 more shots, and the deer are STILL standing there. About this time, a couple of the guys in my group start calling me on the radio, asking what am I shooting at, and did I get it.
I tell them I just went thru two clips, and the buck is STILL standing in the field. One of my buddies says "well this ain't no petting zoo, so give it to him again!"
So I load my 3rd clip, and fire three more shots.
FINALLY, the doe runs away, bring the buck with here.
I was so mad I could spit, but I get down and check to see if I managed to hit the buck (even though I was sure I missed) After about 20 minutes of searching for blood, I confirm that I did indeed miss him, and I begin yelling "F***" at the top of my lungs. I was so mad, I was just seething.
I get back to camp, and no one really says much to me at first, then all of a sudden a few guys start yell "F***" to mock me.
(We test my gun the next day, and the retitcule was broken in the scope, and my gun was off by 30 feet at 100 yards!) Needless to say, I bought a new scope .
#2 I hike back to a hang-on stand my brother put up near a large gully. It is super foggy,and after I get in the stand, I can't see anything. So I take out a paperback book to read, but because the hang-on stand is leaning slightly down, I can't hold onto my rifle very well, and it keeps sliding off my lap. Not wanting to accidently drop the gun, I screw in a bow/gun hanger hook, and hang my gun up. As luck would have it, 5 minutes later, a huge 8 point buck, with at least a 19-20 inche spread, just appears out of the fog, right below me at 15 yards. He got so close, so quietly, that when he stepped on a stick, it scared me, and I jerked my head up, and there he was just staring at me. I was stuck, no chance I could reach over and grab my gun without him seeing me. Finally after what seemed like 5 minutes, he looks away, and starts to turn around. I quick reach for the gun, and by the time I bring up to aim, the buck has already taken 3 steps, and completely disappeared into the thick fog.
Last one, happened about 5 years ago. Same location as the story above, except the hang on has been replaced by a ladder stand.
It is late October, and I sneak back to this stand for the first time that season. Upon getting up in the stand, I instantly realized that all my shooting lanes had totally over grown that year, and I had virtually no clear shots in most directions. I decide, I might as well stay until lunch, and then when I get down, I will trim my lanes. Yep, you guessed it, about an hour later, the howling wind dies down, and here comes a buck we nicknamed "The Freak" because his G-2s have multiple stickers on each side, and his body was huge. (Pictured attached) Well, he does exactly what I hoped he would not do, but walks right by broadside at 20 yards, and I have no clean lane for a shot. I mean not a freaking chance of getting an arrow thru that brush, and he is standing RIGHT THERE!
Well the buck wanders off, and ends up walking DIRECTLY below a guy in my group, about 300 yards away. As my buddy is drawing back on the buck walking less than 5 yards from him, his arrow falls off the string, and falls CLINK, CLANK, CLANG! off the steps of his metal ladder stand, sending the buck running north.
Well earlier that morning, as we were all heading out, I told another buddy of mine to make sure and stay on his stand until 12:30-1pm, because I had gotten multiple trail camera pictures of "The Freak" by his stand during the 10-noon time frame.
So I get back to camp about 12:30, and this hunting buddy is already sitting on the couch in front of the fire. He tells me he didn't see anything except a couple does, so he walked in to the cabin at noon.
The next day, I check the trail camera by his stand, and "The Freak" came by his stand at 12:15 the day before! But he had already left for lunch!
So in the span of less than 2 hours, this huge buck walked within 20 yards of three bow hunters stands, and NONE of us even got a shot off!
To make matters worse, he was never seen again after that weekend.
A number of years ago, my brother in-law and I were turkey hunting SW Wisconsin and camped on the farm where we hunted. We both wanted to get a bird with a bow and agreed to hunt the first day with our bows. It was a sunny and slow morning so we decided to go to town to get something to eat. On the way into town he got the hot gurgles, (likely from the campfire hotdogs and half cooked beans the night before) and had to make an emergency stop along the road. It came on so fast that he never even pulled to the side of the road. He stopped in the middle of the road, whipped open the door and dropped his pants right there on the center line of the road. Here he was, a one legged guy, half squatting in the middle of the road when two elderly ladies in a Buick drove slowly by completely mortified by what they saw. He cut off his underpants, wiped himself and left them in the middle of the road. Got in the truck, drove to town and still got something to eat. 1.5 hours later when we rounded the corner by where he took a dump there was a hen turkey picking through his splatter crap in the middle of the road. We never did get a bird.
Turkeyhunnter-if you don't crap your pants at least once a hunting season, you are not hunting hard enough!
Back in the 90's I was on Kodiak Island hunting deer. They were almost behind every bush, there were so many. My partner and I had split up. All of a sudden WW III broke out in his direction so I wandered over to see what the commotion was all about. There were deer running all over (I shot 2) and here is my partner on top of a buck with his knife to it's throat! He had shot all of his bullets, missed everything and when the buck ran by, he jumped on it's back. Well he was "bucked" off and had nothing to show for his efforts.
it was a few seasons ago and i was sittin in the tree stand on the tree dead drunk windmill blowin 45, temp thirty below, i was freezin to death, then it started to snow so i got down from the tree stand start headin for the truck and thats when i seen it there, the turdy point buck the turdy point buck?
well he was eight foot tall, weighed twelve thousand pounds, with every step there was a shakin' on the ground he was so rutiful so beautiful strutted right out of my dreams, he was created by God just for outdoor magazines now i'm not much for thinkin, no i don't do it often but i had an idea to put that turdy pointer in his coffin
i couldn't get to my grenades the howitzer was in the shop my stomache was tied into a monkey knot ya my only hope was betty lou she was da one a combination AK-57 uzzie radar lasar triple barrel double scoped heat-seakin shotgun
well he was comin for me gettin bigger and bigger but my fingers were so frozen i could not pull the trigger i kicked off my boots fired with my big toe i was Dirty Harry, John Wayne, and G.I. Joe
ya dat turday point buck was only 10 feet away ya still i couldn't seem to hit him and he wouldn't run away and after 20 minutes when the smoke cleared there were hunters on the ground and the world's biggest deer standing tall and proud, he looked at me and yawned and then a flash of white, and there he was, gone
Then I cried and Burped....
:O
When I was about 10 years old, I was hunting with my dad from a ground blind. He used to love playing those hand held poker, blackjack, slots, etc. type games. He would put them on silent and then play while occasionally checking for animals. I saw the deer come up from a ravine and I see my dad put the game between his teeth to pick up the gun. He must have hit the button to turn the volume back on because all the sudden the thing start going off, he must have won big and it starts counting coins. The deer look around like wth and my dad shoots a big 8-pointer who froze. Behind the deer was a smaller buck which he also shot! The doe that was with them finally ran off.
A good crapping story - I've never worn a one-piece hunting suit and maybe this is why. A good family friend had come up hunting with us and ran into an emergency and had to go number 2 in a quick hurry. He was wearing a one-piece hunting suit, in his hurry must haven't made sure it was clear before dropping bombs. We get into the truck that evening and as were starting to warm up, we all start asking wth the smell is. We get back to the cabin and he had gotten a full load in his hood.
This picture was 2 weeks after I shot at him. Neighbor sent it to me.
He went from broadside at 20 to quartering away at 30 and I didn't adjust back on the deer.
Hard lesson learned.
Sorry, if I highjacked your post with a bunch of crap! Just realized each of my stories involved taking a dump. LOL
10orbetter I think the craptastic stories are most entertaining! I think everyone knows someone who has told the old one piece took a dump in the hood story. It's practically a local legend lol. either way, this thread is all about the crazy stuff that happens while trying to stay on the stand all day, put a kill shot on a deer and the craziness that happens....love all of these stories. Possible new thread coming on best big buck hunting stories, usually told by your grandpa or crazy uncle!
1984 , Idaho bowhunt . I walked 5 miles in 95 degree heat to get to a spot we called Gods pocket . I was side hilling looking at a grassy spot when my feet flew out from under me . I flew 50 feet down the slope and hit a Juniper tree . The quicky quiver on my Fred bear Super kodiak twisted and a broad head cut my string . The bow tip hit me between the eyes leaving a gash . It was a long walk back .
2001 , prime rut , big timber country , a 2 mile tough walk to a small dry Island in the middle of a swamp . Huge buck bedding there during the day . I leave the truck at 3:30 so i can be waiting for this Bruiser when he comes home from a night of girl chasing . I sit down on the trypod chair and reach for my release . Its back at the truck laying on the hood . It was a long walk back .
When I was 13 Dad and I woke up late for opening morning. We grabbed our guns and ran out the door as the sun was popping up, Our stands were not far from the door 1/4 and 1/2 mile down a fire break. Dad had been watching a big buck cross the break all summer long at 705 am almost like clock work and sure enough we look up and he is standing looking at us a 50 yards. Dad pulls up and drops the hammer and the loudest click you ever heard. In the rush we never loaded our rifles.
This fall I was at the Range test shooting with my camera mounted to my bow and got to talking to and helping an older guy with his set up and forgot to put my quiver back in my case before I left. So when I got to my stand site the next morning and unloaded yep no arrows and the shop didnt open till 8..
16 or 17 year old with my dad. We drive out to an area we have not been in yet (October pre gun season) to scout around. dad's PSE is in the truck I ask if I should bring it, he says no we don't need it just going for a quick walk. My bow back at home (an old school Golden eagle I shot with finger tabs) his bow shot with release and a different pin system. We get 50 yards down the trail and here stands a nice 10 looking at us raking his antlers in the brush below him. I freak, nock an arrow, holding the release some screwed up way, not knowing what yardage his pins are set for (never shot his bow) and let one fly. Hits buck in the front left leg and arrow skips off into brush. hand my dad the bow and yell SHOOT EM DAD!!! deer runs off. Opening day rifle I sit in a stand 100 yards from that spot freezing my ass and feet off and hear a shot nearby. Dad comes to see if it was me, I say no and we head back to camp to warm up. On the drive out we see two guys (Illinois truck) gutting a nice buck, they motion us over and proceed to tell us its the first time they ever hunted there. I look deer over, nice 10 and notice a good scar on the left leg. fail. And worst part- it went to a no good Illinois brother...
This better stay here! Not to many hunting buddies know about this fail...
Found the perfect tree with back cover. The back cover was an old hung up deadfall a few feet behind my tree. On a windy day while in the stand the deadfall came down taking out the top 15' of my climbing sticks. Surprised but unhurt, I called it a night.
Wearing my safety vest and catch rope, I lowered the catch knot as far as I could reach and slid down the tree like a scared squirrel. 10" from the remaining steps the rope went tight. I hung from the tree In my vest and had to call my wife for help....
A couple of years ago, my brother packed up his gear & headed up north for the deer season opener. At day break, he got dressed, grabbed his bolt action 30.06, loaded magazine, etc. & headed out into the darkness to his stand.
Once he reached his perch, he fumbled trying to get the mag installed into the gun. For some reason, it just wouldn't latch properly. It turns out, he mistakenly grabbed the mag for his .270 & left the 30.06 mag at home. Fortunately, he had brought along some extra 30.06 ammo with him. He loaded 1 in the chamber, clutched 3 rounds in his hands, kicked back & waited for opening to arrive.
An hour later, he saw some does running his way. He took aim & pulled the trigger - missed. Damn. He cycled the bolt, manually loaded another round, closed the bolt - damn, another miss. He repeated the process & finally connected on the third shot. It turns out, the scope was off as well. Needless to say, advanced preparation is not one of his strong points.
