The next six customers have driven a long way from MA and order 25 pies. They also sit down in the shop to eat some delicious pie. Another ten customers have driven from NY to buy some of these famous pies; they order two each (20 pies in total) and sit down to sample their pies.
The next 15 pies are sold to locals in the area who buy 1 pie each and proceed to share one pie with their group. Next, a customer (let’s call him BigBuckBob) comes in from NW CT and puts in his order for 1 of these famous pies. The pie shop worker (let’s call him Scott) tells Bob “We’re out of pies.” Bob of course asks “Where did they go?; your advertisement said you have 300 pies in stock !” Scott assures Bob, “I keep very accurate surveys of our pie inventory and can assure you there are always 300 pies in stock. Besides, the shop owner told me so !”
Bob looks around the shop and sees Lymfree with a stack of empty pie tins and the MA and NY customers hurriedly loading their remaining pies in their trucks and leaving. The locals invite Bob to join them and share a pie. Bob asks the locals “Where are all the pies I heard about?” The locals laugh and explain to Bob that this is what the shop owner does; advertises that he has 300 pies when in reality he only has 100.
The next six customers have driven a long way from MA and order 25 pies. They also sit down in the shop to eat some delicious pie. Another ten customers have driven from NY to buy some of these famous pies; they order two each (20 pies in total) and sit down to sample their pies.
The next 15 pies are sold to locals in the area who buy 1 pie each and proceed to share one pie with their group. Next, a customer (let’s call him BigBuckBob) comes in from NW CT and puts in his order for 1 of these famous pies. The pie shop worker (let’s call him Scott) tells Bob “We’re out of pies.” Bob of course asks “Where did they go?; your advertisement said you have 300 pies in stock !” Scott assures Bob, “I keep very accurate surveys of our pie inventory and can assure you there are always 300 pies in stock. Besides, the shop owner told me so !”
Bob looks around the shop and sees Lymfree with a stack of empty pie tins and the MA and NY customers hurriedly loading their remaining pies in their trucks and leaving. The locals invite Bob to join them and share a pie. Bob asks the locals “Where are all the pies I heard about?” The locals laugh and explain to Bob that this is what the shop owner does; advertises that he has 300 pies when in reality he only has 100.
So one day, the night watchman (let’s call him Rooster) is doing his rounds and is muttering to himself and dragging his feet along the ground. When out of nowhere a fellow (let’s call him Jacob) stops his car next door at Redding Ridge Market because he needs a coffee and wants to buy some lotto tickets. Jacob sees Rooster dragging his feet and muttering to himself and asks “What’s wrong?”
Rooster says “I used to be the watchman over in Ridgefield, but now I look after this place in Redding. There are still lots of pies in Ridgefield as the whole town was recently surveyed and has a minimum uncorrected density of 45 pies/square mile. But here in Redding, the pie shop owners say they make 300 pies but me and my friends can only account for 100 of them. Even though you, Lymefree, Scott, and the MA guys say there are closer to 300 pies.”
Jacob says “Come with me, I have a key that opens the back room to this place and every other pie shop in the State. The backroom accounts for 80% of the square footage of each shop, but is only accessible to taxpayers whose kids play soccer, drive SUVs, and are allergic to pie. You know what? You can even come with me and help me count the pies.”
So Jacob and Rooster go and count some pies and they count pretty close to 300. Rooster says “Oh, so that’s how you guys do it?”
And Scott says “You’re not done yet, you have only been to two pie shops in Town and there are two more you need to go to.” So Jacob gives him the key and Rooster again counts 300 pies at each shop. Then Rooster is pretty quiet for the time being; that is until his friend, Deputy pays for some private detectives to count the 100 pies that are in the front room. Deputy and his friend from the next town over, Rowair, say “See, there are only 100 pies in this room.”
But Scott, Jacob, and Darry Lavis ask “Why didn’t you count the pies in the back room? They’re there, you just need to open to door and look for them.” Rowair is adamant and says “We didn’t count them because we paid to count only the 100 pies in the front room. Because I paid to count 100 pies, there are only 100 pies in each shop in CT.” But Rooster saw with his own eyes the back room and helped Jacob count all the pies. And Deputy even called Darry Lavis and was very polite with him while Darry explained why you need to open the back room and also count all the pies in there too, because even though the back door is locked, there are still an awful lot of pies back there.
So in the end, Scott, Jacob, and Darry are handing the keys to anyone who wants them, but no one is willing to take the keys and look for the additional pies, even though they have provided numerous maps of the locations of the pies. But the guys from MA know about the back room, and despite some grumblings about the back room being locked to outsiders, the guys from MA know it exists and manage to take several pies that Rooster, Rowair, and Deputy continue to say are not there. And Ridgefield thought that they had many fewer pies than before, but it turns out they have lots of pies that are locked in the big back room as well. As does Bethel, Easton, Weston, Newtown, Norwalk, Monroe. . . Basically all of Fairfield County has plenty of pies to share with anybody willing to come and pay the State to take some of them away.
Ahhhhhhhh, the off season. Pass the popcorn!
Also, where did the 100 pies came from? I heard a couple of people say all the pies were gone long time ago and there were no pies left anywhere in Fairfield County.
Hey, why are Connecticut pie eaters so lazy (sorry BBB) as to go get pie after the bakery runs out? If I want pie, I am going to make sure I'm in line before people that have to drive over 100 miles.
What type of pie is it anyway? Apple, pumpkin or cherry?
If it's cherry I don't want any.
P.S.
DON'T STONE THE CROW!
If we get rid of pie, NO MORE DIABETES!
Et tu Brute?
BBB is not lazy. BBB walks miles for many years for his pies. BBB researches, studies, circim-navigates the pie stores, looks for the old pies that no one else has the patience to find, finds the back door to the backroom where most of the pies are stored, and then, and only then does he stick a fork in that old, moldy pie.
My Secret that I will share - go to the place where no else goes to buy their pies, and you will find several pies to choose from. But remember, the more pie you eat, the less pie there will be the next time you go to that pie store. You can't HAVE your pie and EAT it too.
Not as fun as the Beaver post, but it beats doing nothing,........I guess.
Mi piace il castoro!
I saw the new Exodus flick this weekend starring Batman. It was OK, but not as good as the Heston/Yul Brynner original.
P-whipped and not even married to her yet!
you're getting to know me too well. I was going to add that to my last post, but decided against it.
Yes, I would have shot. :)
There are pies in Scotland, CT!!!