Summit Treestands
How long after a divorce to try again?
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Contributors to this thread:
BOX CALL 09-Jun-18
Thornton 09-Jun-18
LKH 09-Jun-18
Bowboy 09-Jun-18
RD in WI 09-Jun-18
JTreeman 09-Jun-18
cnelk 09-Jun-18
PECO 09-Jun-18
TJS 09-Jun-18
ryanrc 09-Jun-18
milnrick 09-Jun-18
carcus 09-Jun-18
Billyvanness 09-Jun-18
Glunt@work 09-Jun-18
Mathewshootrphone 09-Jun-18
TreeWalker 09-Jun-18
BOX CALL 09-Jun-18
txhunter58 09-Jun-18
IdyllwildArcher 09-Jun-18
Kevin Dill 09-Jun-18
JTV 09-Jun-18
bentshaft 09-Jun-18
Drop tine 09-Jun-18
PushCoArcher 09-Jun-18
midwest 09-Jun-18
bowhunter55 09-Jun-18
WapitiBob 09-Jun-18
Shawn 09-Jun-18
Dirk Diggler 09-Jun-18
SteveB 09-Jun-18
casekiska 09-Jun-18
ryanrc 09-Jun-18
ACB 09-Jun-18
Kevin Dill 09-Jun-18
SB 09-Jun-18
Owl 09-Jun-18
JL 09-Jun-18
Amoebus 09-Jun-18
Shuteye 09-Jun-18
MK111 10-Jun-18
Zim1 10-Jun-18
tonyo6302 10-Jun-18
bill v 10-Jun-18
trublucolo 10-Jun-18
OkieJ 10-Jun-18
Yendor 10-Jun-18
Rocky 10-Jun-18
Zim1 11-Jun-18
Rocky 11-Jun-18
LINK 11-Jun-18
cnelk 11-Jun-18
LINK 11-Jun-18
Grey Ghost 11-Jun-18
K Cummings 11-Jun-18
South Farm 11-Jun-18
Amoebus 11-Jun-18
Grey Ghost 11-Jun-18
Bowbender 11-Jun-18
LINK 11-Jun-18
BowSniper 11-Jun-18
LINK 11-Jun-18
BowSniper 11-Jun-18
K Cummings 11-Jun-18
DL 11-Jun-18
Your fav poster 11-Jun-18
Grey Ghost 11-Jun-18
WV Mountaineer 11-Jun-18
Bentstick81 11-Jun-18
Two Feathers 11-Jun-18
Amoebus 12-Jun-18
Amoebus 12-Jun-18
Bowfreak 12-Jun-18
Mint 12-Jun-18
LINK 12-Jun-18
scentman 12-Jun-18
dm/wolfskin 12-Jun-18
Deflatem 12-Jun-18
jdee 12-Jun-18
lawdy 12-Jun-18
Two Feathers 12-Jun-18
K Cummings 13-Jun-18
Pat Lefemine 13-Jun-18
mn_archer 13-Jun-18
Grey Ghost 13-Jun-18
K Cummings 13-Jun-18
hmaxims 13-Jun-18
Solo 13-Jun-18
lawdy 13-Jun-18
lawdy 13-Jun-18
K Cummings 13-Jun-18
Woods Walker 14-Jun-18
ahunter55 17-Jun-18
From: BOX CALL
09-Jun-18
I've been divorced for six years now.it was a bad experience.never wanted another woman and worried about getting screwed over again.this is twice now.have any of you guys found the right woman again.i like bowhunting and just quiet time on the porch.not constant running here and there.

From: Thornton
09-Jun-18
Go to church and find a good Christian country girl. Get one at a bar and you're just subtracting years from your life

From: LKH
09-Jun-18
A divorce lawyer told me not to marry the same woman. He didn't mean the same person, but the same type. You are attracted to a certain type. Well, that attraction hasn't worked twice so look at yourself for the answer about what you should be looking for.

From: Bowboy
09-Jun-18
I got divorced when I was in my mid thirties. I dated off and on but nothing serious. I got married again just over the 5yr point. If It ever happen again which is highly unlikely, I'd never get married again period. I suggest don't go looking for it'll just happen when you least expect it.

If I was in your shoes, I'd just get a girlfriend and if doen't work out go your separate ways.

I have a good friend who is 59 and has never been married. He has a long time girlfriend but he won't marry her. He has seen to many of his friends get racked over the coals.

From: RD in WI
09-Jun-18
I got divorced in Jan 2006 after 12 years of marriage and remarried in Oct 2008. Best decision I ever made was agreeing to go on a date when she asked me out. My wife is just over 8 years younger than I am and is the most intelligent and level-headed woman I have met. I suggest that everyone keep trying to find the "right one" if they are the marrying type. Good luck.

From: JTreeman
09-Jun-18
I just never got married, problem solved ;)

—jim

From: cnelk
09-Jun-18
Been divorced 8yrs after being married for 21.

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

I'd never get married again period

From: PECO
09-Jun-18
I got divorced in Feb or 1990. I met my current wife in 2005, after a long term relationship we got married in July of 2015.

From: TJS
09-Jun-18
Suggest marrying a like minded, Christian valued woman. Having a similar upbringing helps. For 1/2 of a 20 year marriage with 2 great kids, the then wife could not be made happy. No discussion through the years was successful in getting info from her in attempts of pleasing her. She finally left to my chagrin. Even getting her talking during divorce negotiations was non-existent. After several years, ... a 2nd go round has been very good. It's not the same,... but much better in so many ways. Kids were the biggest losers, but they now have a stable dad and a very caring and sane stepmother.

Best Wishes for happiness.

TJS

From: ryanrc
09-Jun-18
I am not savvy with those dating apps, but my friends seem to have more than they can handle on them. I forget the name of the one that is the best, but it is something like "grinder " or something like that. You should check it out and let us know.

From: milnrick
09-Jun-18
You'll know when you find the right one. I was divorced for 6 years and like others didn't want to even look.

I met my wife (Lady Bowhunter) by accident while investigating a safety issue on Base. She didn't hunt, didn't fish, but asked questions about both.

We got married 18 months later, went fishing for redfish 3 days after the wedding. Bought her a bow 4 weeks later.

She asked me to take her bowhunting after she developed her shooting skills -- that was 27 years ago and it's been great.

My point is, good things can happen when you least expect it. Just be open enough to take the chance.

From: carcus
09-Jun-18
Religion is going to have a huge impact on temperament, lmao,

09-Jun-18
Trying again is the fun part.... In my eyes no need to get married again. Like Brad says

From: Glunt@work
09-Jun-18
My wife and I dated many years before marrying. Mostly due to me. My family has a history of failed marriages over and over and I really wanted to break that cycle. So far, so good. I'm happy and thankful everyday for my wife and beautiful kids.

Take your time and remember that marriage works when two people who are happy by themselves connect. Getting married before people really know the other person or to fix something often leads to nowhere.

09-Jun-18
Easyer to rent them than own them just saying

From: TreeWalker
09-Jun-18
Rule of thumb is 1/2 the length of the relationship is needed to be fully adjusted. That is why elderly widowers often never date again. If married 60 years then not easy to adjust to not feeling married.

You certainly can date in a few hours or days or weeks or months. You may find yourself to flashing back into the prior relationship. Calling new people the name of the ex, hearing a song you liked as part of the prior relationship.

When it feels right, go for it.

From: BOX CALL
09-Jun-18
Last one thought three jobs and going to school and separate bed rooms meant more than a marriage.snuck around and found another place to live and who knows what else was going on.

From: txhunter58
09-Jun-18
Hard to say what you should do. I was married the first time for 13 years. Case of opposites attracting. I voted for Trump, she supported Bernie. :-) But believe it or not, we are still friends as we had a daughter and we both put her first.

Then met a woman from a paper personals add (before the internet) and we have now been married 21 years and still going strong. She is the best thing to ever happen to me. So it can work. Found out early, she didn't begrudge me my hunting addiction, but I made sure to find out her wishes/desires and made them come true for her too. Went on a Carribean cruise for our 1st anniversary, and went on an Alaskan cruise for out 20th. Was that excited about the Carribean one, but the Alaskan one was for both of us! She wanted a horse, so I bought land and got one for her. Lesson, to get you have to give too. It worked for me at least.

The safest thing is to find a woman that is passionate about hunting as well!

09-Jun-18
4,583,295 years is the precise amount of time to wait to get remarried.

If you marry a woman you've been in a relationship with for less than 2, maybe 3 years, you're asking to be wed to a woman that may treat you completely different than you ever expected to see her treat you. Lots of guys don't believe in being with a woman out of wed lock - that's their choice. You're looking to get lucky.

Personally, I believe marriage is a great thing for those with exceptional luck and a few more with extreme patience.

From: Kevin Dill
09-Jun-18
Guess I'm a born romantic. I could never decide on a woman based on a set of criteria, qualifications or factors. The only way I would ever marry a woman was if I was crazy nuts about her. I understand wondering if I should....but no way would I ever debate whether she was the one. This comes from being married 40 years and still knowing she's the best thing that ever happened in my life. I think you choose a bow, truck etc based on what you want. Love doesn't allow for criteria and qualifications.

From: JTV
09-Jun-18
Never, enjoy your freedom, date around, enjoy life, hunt, fish, do what you want when you want, some guys enjoy the bachelor life, I sure do ...

From: bentshaft
09-Jun-18
IdyllwildArcher nailed the time to wait. Just remember "A man marries a woman hoping she'll never change, A woman marries a man thinking, I can change him"

Long, long term relationships are in order.

From: Drop tine
09-Jun-18
I think it varies for each person. I dated my first wife for 11 years, then was married for 3 months before she had an affair. Met my current wife a month later and was engaged 9 months later. That was 14 years ago. If something were to ever happen, I would not get married again.

I would recommend thinking about the personality traits (height, weight, looks, politics, etc) you want in a partner and make a list. Be honest and look for that person. No one is perfect but compromising on important issues is not a good long term solution. Best of luck.

From: PushCoArcher
09-Jun-18
ryanrc not cool man. Box Call do not I repeat do not check out grinder. Check out Tinder or Plenty of Fish if you're interested in dating sites might as well have some fun while you look for miss right.

From: midwest
09-Jun-18
Was married for 19 years. I sucked at it but we have 2 girls that have been the best two things to ever happened to me. I have no desire to give half my shit away again.

That said, I've been with the same woman for around 15 years now. She's 17 years younger than me and treats me okay most of the time. ;-)

From: bowhunter55
09-Jun-18
On my 3rd go round and have to say, 3rd time is the charm! Still friends with the 2nd whom I share 3 beautiful well grounded kids with. My currant wife hunts with me, is a fanatic gym rat just like me, loves shooting guns and we couldn't be happier. Plenty of fish out in that big ocean of love dude!!

From: WapitiBob
09-Jun-18
35 years with the same one.

It all starts with the interview....

From: Shawn
09-Jun-18
I have been with my wife since she was 13. Married her young when she was 17. We have been together just shy of 38 years, married for 34 very soon. If something was to happen I would never marry again but I would find another women pretty quick. I like their company and several other things about them. I would look for someone who has the same interests as me, they don't have to hunt but fishing, camping, loving the outdoors and such would surely help. Shawn

From: Dirk Diggler
09-Jun-18
I'm a quick learner.

From: SteveB
09-Jun-18
Celebrating 44 years with the right one. She doesn’t hunt, but understands. Key? Faith, and the fact that we never made divorce an option.

From: casekiska
09-Jun-18
I once heard someone say......"I'll never get married again. Next time I'll just find a woman I don't like and buy her a house!"

From: ryanrc
09-Jun-18
Pushco- I thought it was funny! Besides you are the only who seemed to notice....lol

From: ACB
09-Jun-18
Proverbs 31: 10-31

From: Kevin Dill
09-Jun-18
I've heard about women who say, "First time for romance. Second time for finance."

From: SB
09-Jun-18
What's the point? Is life not now more peaceful?

From: Owl
09-Jun-18
I married the doe of my youth. She was 15 and I was 16 when we started going steady. That's 31 years. We celebrate 23 years of marriage tomorrow. You'll know you found the right one when you put each other first and/or can rationally negotiate your way through the vagaries of your shared path. I'd marry a Christian woman because, no matter how good you have it, there will be times when your relationship with God is the primary support of your relationship with her and vice versa.

From: JL
09-Jun-18

JL's Link
https://countrymatch.com/

From: Amoebus
09-Jun-18
Figure out what you did to mess up the first 2 marriages. I am serious. It is only one person's fault about .01% of the time. It certainly was not all her fault in my first marriage.

Figure that out (seek counseling if too dense to do it on your own) and then ask yourself if you are willing to change to make the 3rd one work. If no, don't waste her and your time and money. Spend your future alimony money on Alaskan hunts and enjoy yourself.

And a note to the posts above that say find a Christian/church woman. There are plenty of those divorcing also - same advice I gave before. If it is you that is messing the marriage, you will mess up one with a church lady too.

How old are you and what is your assessment of the first 2 marriages?

From: Shuteye
09-Jun-18
In August I will be married to my second wife for 50 years. First marriage lasted about three years. I had a great lawyer, I kept the house, car and my ex had to pay the court expenses.

From: MK111
10-Jun-18
Be married to the same woman 54 years next month for me. I picked a great one. No advise here as I have little experience in the matter.

From: Zim1
10-Jun-18

Zim1's embedded Photo
Zim1's embedded Photo
BOX CALL, Been there done that, but just once. That was MORE than enough. Was married for 20 years. We failed to discuss in detail life plans B, C, D, E or F, much less A, prior to commitment. Did totally worthless routine church counseling in advance. You are guaranteed nothing with a church woman as unfortunately you cannot know if she is in fact a christian or a charlatan. I ended up with the latter. She sheet canned her career within two years of marriage and never deposited a nickel in our joint checking account for the remaining 18. Her idea of work ethic was laying in bed eating chicken fried steak and watching Jerry Springer all day long. I was forced to work 80 hours a week, had my own home building company. I bought our first two lots and built our first two homes with my own sweat equity. So I contributed ~$50,000 on home #1, and $70,000 on home two. She contributed absolutely nothing, yet I was foolish enough to put both our names on the deed. Later I made a great real estate deal and bought my dream 33 acres of prime wooded land with a rental home on it. Remodeled it and broke even on the cash flow, and once again foolishly put both our names on the deed. Stupid. The ex talked a big game but followed through with absolutely nothing. Always going to resume her career ya that wasn't happening. All four of my sisters were professionals (a doctor, engineer, city planner & nurse), and contributed equally to their finances and had happy marriages. I struck out. Ultimately I became very bitter about her 20 years of false promises. Upon divorce my ex stole everything and I mean everything. And I learned the courts make sure the unemployed spouses get everything because the court knows the government does not have enough money to pay for their politician created unsustainable welfare programs. It's got nothing to do with what is fair. It's all about saddling hard working people with lazy people's living costs. Without that ex I could have retired at 39 years old if I wanted, due to my hard work. Instead, all my land is gone. My money is gone. My retirement is gone. Want to know about the rest of her family? One of her brothers had a daughter out of wedlock two states away and he paid the mother to keep it a secret for 6 years. Another one was the highest paid salesman at Zale's Jewelry, became a regional manager and when he got divorced quit his job to repo cars for cash to spite his ex and the child support for their 3 daughters. Classy huh? That ex was the type she was in love with Texas and come hell or high water wasn't leaving for better opportunity elsewhere. When the economy collapsed in 1986 she wanted me to take my Purdue construction management degree and 10 years of building experience and get a minimum wage job at Home Depot rather than leave her beloved Texas. Just plain crazy. Of course she had no financial plan for us, and no contribution, just criticism for mine. Some think being a mom is a full time job and I call BS on that. Not how my sisters nor I was raised. This is 2018 not 1818. I don't see women churning butter on the front porch. I don't see them hiking down to the river to get water or wash clothes on the rocks. On top of this, I changed as many diapers as my ex did. I maintained and cleaned 60% of our home interior, her 40%. Exterior 100% me, 0% her. Coached all my sons youth sports teams (& the neighbors) for 10+ years. Took them to church, grocery store, camping, fishing trips, etc. Faithful, didn't drink, smoke, gamble.........just worked my arse off 24/7. Didn't matter I was the bad guy no matter what. I definitely don't blame anyone who chooses not to marry or remarry.

Despite all this it was not me that filed for divorce. And we never argued, just drifted apart. But got divorced in 2006. I had no desire to date for a full year after that. Finally at the encouragement of my sisters, signed up for a couple online dating websites 16 months after divorce. But they told me to go out on a ton of one time dinner dates before I even thought about anyone seriously. I listened and dated a lot. Met a lot of nice women but hell anything was better than my ex. Over the next 8 years I learned to become VERY picky, ended up dating 3 seriously for 1-2 years each. Wanted to remarry, but just wasn't going to settle. My youngest sister had an awesome marriage. They laughed whenever they came in a room together. I had decided if I could not have a marriage like that, it was OK, I would remain single permanently. Almost gave up. I stayed on Match.com but dated less frequently. One week I was headed up to Milwaukee on a business trip and wanted to go bowling. Did a Match search and found a bowler. Set up the date and bingo finally hit the jackpot. Only slight problem was she lived on the other side of the planet, China. And was just in the US on a one year teaching program. Now some guys might write it off at that point, but in fact I looked at it more like a challenge. We clicked and the bottom line was I'd rather be happy with her for one month/year than settle for less 12 months/year. I traveled outside North America for the first time in my life, and met her family. They were awesome, and made me feel accepted immediately. When I boarded the plane to return to the US, my decision was made. We communicated via WeChat video daily. Being an English teacher, she spent the next 2 summers here. I flew there a few times for visits. Before proposing, I sought approval not only from her 72 year old mother, but the rest of her siblings and her daughter. I am old fashioned and would not marry without this. We got married in Chengdu, China, December 2015 and had receptions in both countries for each of our extended families. Attached is a photo from our US reception held in The Villages, Florida. With us are my three sons and my wife's daughter. I cannot describe how awesome it is like to be happily married. Fang could have actually retired and moved here last December, but asked me if it was OK for her to stay one more semester so she would not leave her students mid school year. How could I say no to that work ethic? So she finishes next month and will finally move here full time July 12th. A lucky bonus?.........She will keep her condo in Sichuan and return there 3 months/year..........in the fall, flexible depending on what western hunts I draw. So this marriage comes with a 3 month free hall pass every year for hunting season. Best thing is Fang and I make each other laugh every day of our lives, bar none. I never had that before and that is something I don't ever want to do without again.

BOX CALL, This was a long story, but when I was in your spot 12 years ago, I liked reading these. It gave me hope. Do it right. Make yourself available, but DEFINITELY don't settle for less. Enjoy the company of your dates and that's all. Run at the first hint of drama of any kind. Dating is in fact hard work, and takes time commitment and patience. Don't get serious unless you see genuine potential. Stay open minded. Fang and I are from as distant as you could get, but love our cultural differences. It makes our lives all the more interesting.

From: tonyo6302
10-Jun-18
"Figure out what you did to mess up the first 2 marriages."

.. .. ..

. .. . ..

Amoebus is spot on. You must do that first, before doing anything else.

Lots of other good advice on this thread, but do what Amoebus says first.

From: bill v
10-Jun-18
Box, I have no divorce experience to help you, but, I agree with a bunch of the others-don't look for it,it will find you. I meet my wife in the un-employment line that was 38 yrs ago, still married. OH heck, I'm unemployed again:)

Bill V

From: trublucolo
10-Jun-18
siblingsonly.com..... because it worked so well for Yfp.

From: OkieJ
10-Jun-18
I have been happily divorced for 28 yrs. It's cheaper to rent.

From: Yendor
10-Jun-18
Reading these is just sad. I have been married for 45 years, and have rarely regretted it. There's only been a couple of times that I wasn't happy. Maybe ours has lasted so long is because in 45 years we have been apart a total of 6.8 years. Starting with basic training, 13 weeks, and starting military school for Air Traffic Control. 4 stints in the field of 2 weeks or more. Air Traffic Control FAA school, once 5 months, another 7 months. Hunting every year at least 2 weeks. Changing careers (after ATC strike) 14 months. I lived in Seattle she stayed working for the Sheriffs office in Yakima. Only counting times that were 2 weeks or more, adds up to 6.8 years apart. Can't imagine not being married to my best friend. I really feel sorry for those that have never had that.

From: Rocky
10-Jun-18
Compliments when she least expects or deserves it. Flowers or small inconsequential surprise gifts for no particular occasion or reason other than she was on your mind at that moment, even though she might not have been. Never let them know what you are truly thinking.....EVER. Suspense is exciting and never gets old. Lastly and most importantly..if your looking for the ideal woman you best be the ideal man.

Marriage is a never ending game of chess, not so much to win, just knowing when to make the right move when it counts.

The Rock

From: Zim1
11-Jun-18
Yendor, I really wish not being married to my best friend was all I missed. But on top of that, how's breaking your back working 80 hours/week, contributing 99% to a parasite's 1%, then having her and the courts steal everything you worked for your whole life? Land, money, retirement, kids? When the trailer trash wasn't busy not working, she was busy controlling and manipulating our 3 boys. Absolutely disgusting. Moving truck was packed for Texas the day before she could legally move them. Drove right past my little sister who was dying of breast cancer and had requested her to stop and say goodbye. Even stole my kid's college funds. What a prize. The only positive is she makes me appreciate my current wonderful wife.

From: Rocky
11-Jun-18
Zim, That this woman who would not stop for a goodbye to your ailing sister is pure evil. Life has done you well to rid yourself of her. That said sincerely: My Italian grandmother, worldly wise, knew the propensities of people in general and woman in particular. I was about to elope to Elkton, Maryland and marry my present wife of 46 years at the local JP. She sat me down at her table and with a loving smack on the cheek she said to me in Italian, smiling no less in the presence of my soon to be wife who for all intense and purposes was listening to Chinese, said..... "Look at me and listen to me and never forget...never love your new bride with everything you have. The day is going to come when she will NEED more and you will have nothing more to give. That will be the beginning of separation". This is 1971and she hands me two dollars which brings my total swag to 38.50 for the trip to MD (68 MILES AWAY) and marriage. "Now run my love and have fun because the game of love is about to begin and there is no end. Those words were branded in my soul and from that day forward her advice as always was spot on and served me well. The Rock

From: LINK
11-Jun-18
So key me see if I understand this. You had 3 jobs, went to school, slept in separate bed rooms and are upset you got screwed?

Like others have said find a Christian women. Not just one that is going to church to find a good guy but one that walks the walk daily. If it doesn’t mean something when you say your vows before God then what’s keeping you in a marriage? The divorce rate among church goers is the same as non church goers. The divorce rate among the devoted faithful is far different than the world. Ponder that for awhile.

From: cnelk
11-Jun-18
Many world wars have been based on religion

Ponder that for awhile

From: LINK
11-Jun-18
Good one Cnelk. I’ve seen pastors get divorced too. Nothing is fool proof but numbers don’t lie. My only point was someone that claims to be a Christian isn’t good enough. Far more people claim to believe in God and be Christians than actually are....It only stands to reason that the creator of marriage might know how to make one work. ;) I’m sure that a Jew marrying a Muslim might have a good chance of ending in war.

From: Grey Ghost
11-Jun-18
BOX,

I agree with the others who say you need to figure out what you did wrong the first 2 times, before you consider a 3rd.

You may come to the conclusion that marriage just isn't for you.

Matt

From: K Cummings
11-Jun-18
"I’ve seen pastors get divorced too..."

I always get a kick out of the notion that clergy is somehow immune to the failings of other human beings.

I've seen doctors get cancer, I've seen driving instructors have car accidents, I've seen cops break the law, and I've seen financial advisors file bankruptcy.

The divorce rate among church goers is the same as non church goers because the percentage of church goers that are human is the same as the percentage of non church goers that are human. Same with clergy. ALL human beings are subject to the failings of human beings, including clergy. The biggest mistake we make is to assume otherwise.

As to the original question, I agree with those that have said that introspection is the key, and it's an ongoing thing. At least I know it is for me.

KPC

From: South Farm
11-Jun-18
When I was single I couldn't imagine being married, now that I am married I can't imagine being divorced. Not saying things are perfect, but at least I know where she's been. Besides, now that I'm bald I think my choices would be severely limited even if I did try. Young chicks dig hair. LOL!

From: Amoebus
11-Jun-18
SF - "Young chicks dig hair. LOL!"

Apparently not nose, ear and back hair...

From: Grey Ghost
11-Jun-18
"Young chicks dig hair. LOL!"

From what I hear, young chicks have very little to no hair anymore...in certain places. ;-)

Sorry,

Matt

From: Bowbender
11-Jun-18

Bowbender's embedded Photo
Bowbender's embedded Photo
GG,

From: LINK
11-Jun-18
K cumings I don’t remember saying clergy was God. I get it, however when you make a living studying the bible you should be more equipped than anyone. I also disagree that the divorce rate among pastors is the same as the general population.

A well know author has written a book that covers many things, one big topic being marriage. His book sells over 100 million copies a year and is the number 1 best seller every year. It only makes sense that studying the blueprints of marriage and applying them daily gives you a much better chance at a lasting marriage. Did I say it was 100% even if you marry a left wing, psychotic, feminist? Certainly not.

The secular divorce rate is around 35%. The divorce rate of those that either attend church together weekly or pray together weekly is around 15% percent. That’s still too high but it’s a significant difference.

From: BowSniper
11-Jun-18
Funny how this discussiom can also link back to the moral compass discussion in the other Steve Harvey thread. While I may lean atheist in my opinions, I have been married now for almost 20 years. No thoughts of divorce ever.

So how is that possible when I don't get my morals from a Divine spirit? I think back to the wedding vows, and the promise 'till death do you part'. I made that promise as a grown man, and vowed to stick to it through thick and thin.

THAT.... or maybe I just got married a little later in life and had my fill of sleeping around and was able to get that all out of my system first. Lol.

From: LINK
11-Jun-18
Bowsniper the divorce rate for adults in their first marriage is only 35%. Makes sense that even a few atheists and maybe even some couples that are terrible at marriage might make it through married. ;) Your wife must be a really good woman. ;)

From: BowSniper
11-Jun-18
Link - to put up with me she must be a Saint! And then we come full circle. Lol

From: K Cummings
11-Jun-18
I get what you are saying link, I was only making an observation, not an accusation.

Regardless of one's chosen profession, they are all made up of humans and all humans fail. I just think to expect otherwise is asking for disappointment.

As to clergy specifically, sometimes they are more susceptible to marital problems simply because of what they feel are their commitments to things outside their marriage and family.

I actually have a client that was married to a pastor and I remember her telling me that she only wished her ex was as attentive to the family as he was to the congregation.

Tough gig for sure...I don't envy them.

KPC

From: DL
11-Jun-18

DL's Link
Every year this needs to be repeated just in case it has been forgotten.

11-Jun-18
My uncle said it best. ‘Choose your wife wisely, she will either make your life infinitely amazing or infinitely miserable. One or the other”.

From: Grey Ghost
11-Jun-18
After 28 years with my 1st and only wife, I feel like I'm terminally married. ;-)

Matt

11-Jun-18
I've been happily married for 28 years to the same woman.....I'm for sure not getting a new one if something happens to the old one.

11-Jun-18
Link X 20. No matter how many people try to twist what he said into something he didn't.

I married my wife 6 months after I met her. We have been through Hell and back together. I am certain the reason we made it was that we both live for the Lord. The trials have sure strengthened our bond. We do things together and, we do our own things. I am a very lucky man because she really is my best friend. She is a hottie too. :^)

From: Bentstick81
11-Jun-18
Just do like y f IMposter and just LIE to her all the time.

From: Two Feathers
11-Jun-18
stay single

From: Amoebus
12-Jun-18
TF - "stay single"

Not many things surprise me on bowsite any more but that one really did. I would have bet my house that TF would have said had something positive to say about the Lord and the sanctity of marriage.

TF - can you expound on those 2 words? Directed specifically at Box or to all men?

From: Amoebus
12-Jun-18
LINK - "The secular divorce rate is around 35%. The divorce rate of those that either attend church together weekly or pray together weekly is around 15% percent. That’s still too high but it’s a significant difference."

There is a difference because you are comparing 2 different criteria. Measure secular verses religious. Similar. Measure secular that volunteer together at the food shelf once a week verses religious that attend church together once a week and your numbers will be the same - imo. There are a lot of things that contribute to a good marriage and common goals/time together is a big one.

From: Bowfreak
12-Jun-18
"Religion" is often times why people are getting divorced. But, putting your personal relationship with Jesus Christ first and then your spouse second is the key to success in life.

From: Mint
12-Jun-18
I've been happily married for 11 years but I was happy when I was single too. Some people are never happy unless they are married though. If I got divorced I wouldn't get married again unless the women owned some prime hunting property or was loaded.

From: LINK
12-Jun-18
Amoebus there could be a lot of truth to that. Where I live though the food shelter is operated by volunteers from various churches. ;) I do get what you are saying but I still don’t think because a married couple shares a love of boating or basket weaving they will see a significant increase in their odds of a successful marriage.

Amoebus is also right that most women spell love like this TIME. 3 jobs, schooling and hunting somewhere between all that has to leave little to no TIME for a women. Guys are fine with 10 minutes before bed but women don’t enjoy being a cheap maid and bottle washers that are expected to kick in favors a few nights a week.

I would repeat what others have said about not going back to the same well that’s given you 2 failed marriages. Try something different.

I have a cousin that’s in his 40’s and been married 3 times. He’s bought several more rings than just the 3. He knows his procedure for finding women is wrong but he’s told me “ I just can’t stay away from young blondes with fake breasts”. He usually meets them at the bar and they are usually hair dressers, lol. They are always good looking but well above the crazy line. To find a marrying type one should be thinking with the right head.

From: scentman
12-Jun-18
pray on it... ask for the Lords guidance, then follow your heart.

From: dm/wolfskin
12-Jun-18
You don't force it. If it happens it happens. I went from 1982 to 1997 before I married again. Getting married again was not a goal for me but it happen and all well.

From: Deflatem
12-Jun-18
Sometimes its cheaper to RENT. :)

From: jdee
12-Jun-18
Met my wife when she was 18 and she just turned 58......Laugh together every day !! Someone told me one time for a wife you want a lady in the living room, a chef in the kitchen and a wh- - - in the bed room. She still looks great in a pair of yoga pants which doesn’t hurt . Best friend for sure !

From: lawdy
12-Jun-18
I was married as a teen for 9 days. It was annulled. I was playing a concert a year later when I spotted a pretty girl in the audience. That was August 1. We married August 20. Almost 50 years now. At the time, I just had the feeling she was the one, so why wait.

From: Two Feathers
12-Jun-18
Amoebus that was advice for Box Call. If the first one didn't last don't expect great things in the second one. And, there is nothing unbiblical with singlehood.

From: K Cummings
13-Jun-18
Q: At the time, I just had the feeling she was the one, so why wait?

A: I was married as a teen for 9 days. It was annulled.

Sorry lawdy, couldn't resist. You kind of teed that one up.

:)

KPC

From: Pat Lefemine
13-Jun-18
Relationship advice from the community forum, what could go wrong?

From: mn_archer
13-Jun-18
If for some reason my wife and I were no longer together I couldn't imagine remarrying. This is a one time deal for me and if something happened I'd put all my energy into raising our 2 kids to be productive, respectful Americans

From: Grey Ghost
13-Jun-18
Relationship advice from the community forum, what could go wrong?.

Now THAT'S funny, Pat. LOL!!

Matt

From: K Cummings
13-Jun-18
“Relationship advice from the community forum, what could go wrong?”

You mean other than the relationship?

:)

KPC

From: hmaxims
13-Jun-18
I left my first wife 7 years ago. Had two young boys at the time. Hardest decision of my life. Both of us worked opposite public safety schedules and suffered from "co-parenting", ie, 2 different sets of rules and parenting lifestyles for the boys. Made things very hard. We we're just roomates.

Anyway, things are still amicable and boys are now well adjusted, hard working, respectful young men.

I had no interest in finding another wife at first. Just wanted to be a good Dad. But biologically, felt the need to date some women here and there and have some fun. Most were also previously married - there was a good reason, most were crazy or looking for another "payday". Met my 2nd wife online. No joke. Dating website. She had no children, but as a child had multiple step-parents from a serial-dating mom herself. So she was very considerate of how my boys fit in the equation. She was financially stable, understanding and reasonable. We have our moments as all couple's do but we are good for one another. Just my experience.

From: Solo
13-Jun-18
Maybe Pat should include age, gender and sexual orientation status in the Bowsite registration?

From: lawdy
13-Jun-18
After being married for 50 years, if anything happened to my wife, I would stay single because I want to make sure my kids get what my wife and I worked our whole lives for. My father remarried and his two stepkids inherited over 3000 acres of land and acouple million bucks.

From: lawdy
13-Jun-18
Kcummings, I reread your post. I did set myself up. My 1st marriage was to a girl I knew my whole life. She bailed 9 days after we eloped because she was super religious and I was crazy. Her parents hated me. My second wife was totally normal except for the fact that she married me, plus knowing me for only 20 days. Best move I ever made as we round the bend at 50 years and head for 60, God willing. Marriage only works when both want it.

From: K Cummings
13-Jun-18
I gotcha lawdy, it was just funny the way you asked the question.

I was married right out of college and it lasted 7 years. Biggest mistake of both of our lives and we both knew it. Both too young, wrong reasons, didn't really know each other, yada, yada, yada. Fortunately we didn't have kids.

Been with my second wife for 28 years now and couldn't be happier (98% of the time...but hey, life is life). Most generous woman I know, wonderful mother, smart, beautiful, conservative, good with money, great cook, puts up with me, the whole package. If anything ever happened to her, I doubt I'd get married again.

KPC

From: Woods Walker
14-Jun-18
There's two sides to every divorce.

Your's......and dipsh*t's.....

From: ahunter55
17-Jun-18

ahunter55's embedded Photo
ahunter55's embedded Photo
1st divorce I had to BUY my way out & I gave up everything. Single 4 years. 2nd divorce, 1 child & pretty much gave her what she wanted. My child support for one was the same as my buddies with 4 kids + I gave Alimony. Single TWENTY YEARS & met a gal (9 years younger) that made me goofy. Been married over 20 years & still very happy. She's not a bowhunter but never tells me not to do what I want. Depends on the woman my friend. I said I would NEVER marry a 3rd time.. She goes hunting with me sometimes (big into photography) & some competitions at times (this pic was NFAA 5 day Nationals in Pa 2015). We dated for one year b/4 getting married.

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