Moultrie Products
August Chuckles
Community
Contributors to this thread:
Seapig@work 01-Aug-18
IdyllwildArcher 01-Aug-18
spike78 01-Aug-18
BIG BEAR 01-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 01-Aug-18
HA/KS 01-Aug-18
HA/KS 01-Aug-18
bad karma 01-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 02-Aug-18
Woods Walker 02-Aug-18
Seapig@work 02-Aug-18
Shuteye 02-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 02-Aug-18
Zbone 03-Aug-18
Woods Walker 03-Aug-18
HA/KS 03-Aug-18
kentuckbowhnter 03-Aug-18
Shuteye 04-Aug-18
Spike Bull 04-Aug-18
Seapig 04-Aug-18
tonyo6302 04-Aug-18
Salagi 04-Aug-18
HA/KS 05-Aug-18
HA/KS 06-Aug-18
Brotsky 06-Aug-18
DL 06-Aug-18
Mike the Carpenter 06-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 06-Aug-18
BIG BEAR 06-Aug-18
Salagi 06-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 06-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 06-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 06-Aug-18
HA/KS 06-Aug-18
Seapig@work 07-Aug-18
woodguy65 07-Aug-18
woodguy65 07-Aug-18
HA/KS 07-Aug-18
HA/KS 08-Aug-18
tonyo6302 08-Aug-18
Spike Bull 08-Aug-18
Woods Walker 08-Aug-18
HA/KS 08-Aug-18
HA/KS 08-Aug-18
Shuteye 08-Aug-18
HA/KS 08-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 08-Aug-18
HA/KS 08-Aug-18
Woods Walker 08-Aug-18
HA/KS 08-Aug-18
HA/KS 08-Aug-18
Kurt in Memphis 08-Aug-18
scentman 09-Aug-18
HA/KS 09-Aug-18
HA/KS 09-Aug-18
woodguy65 09-Aug-18
woodguy65 09-Aug-18
woodguy65 09-Aug-18
woodguy65 09-Aug-18
HA/KS 09-Aug-18
Shuteye 09-Aug-18
HA/KS 10-Aug-18
HA/KS 11-Aug-18
Shuteye 11-Aug-18
HA/KS 12-Aug-18
HA/KS 12-Aug-18
BIG BEAR 12-Aug-18
RK 12-Aug-18
freeglee 12-Aug-18
BIG BEAR 12-Aug-18
bowbender77 12-Aug-18
RK 12-Aug-18
HA/KS 13-Aug-18
HA/KS 13-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 13-Aug-18
CPMike 13-Aug-18
HA/KS 13-Aug-18
Woods Walker 14-Aug-18
Hunting5555 14-Aug-18
HA/KS 14-Aug-18
HA/KS 14-Aug-18
HA/KS 14-Aug-18
sleepyhunter 14-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 14-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 14-Aug-18
NvaGvUp 14-Aug-18
HA/KS 14-Aug-18
NvaGvUp 14-Aug-18
HA/KS 14-Aug-18
TD 15-Aug-18
HA/KS 15-Aug-18
tonyo6302 15-Aug-18
HA/KS 15-Aug-18
HA/KS 15-Aug-18
Mike the Carpenter 15-Aug-18
HA/KS 15-Aug-18
HA/KS 15-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 15-Aug-18
woodguy65 15-Aug-18
woodguy65 15-Aug-18
woodguy65 15-Aug-18
woodguy65 15-Aug-18
sleepyhunter 16-Aug-18
Shuteye 16-Aug-18
HA/KS 16-Aug-18
HA/KS 16-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 16-Aug-18
HighLife 17-Aug-18
HA/KS 17-Aug-18
elkmtngear 17-Aug-18
HA/KS 17-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 17-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 17-Aug-18
Woods Walker 17-Aug-18
TD 18-Aug-18
Shuteye 18-Aug-18
Shuteye 18-Aug-18
HA/KS 19-Aug-18
HA/KS 19-Aug-18
HA/KS 19-Aug-18
Shuteye 19-Aug-18
trublucolo 19-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 19-Aug-18
HA/KS 19-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 19-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 19-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 19-Aug-18
HA/KS 19-Aug-18
Tonybear61 19-Aug-18
Woods Walker 19-Aug-18
HA/KS 20-Aug-18
HA/KS 20-Aug-18
HA/KS 20-Aug-18
NvaGvUp 20-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 20-Aug-18
HA/KS 20-Aug-18
HA/KS 20-Aug-18
JL 21-Aug-18
HA/KS 21-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 21-Aug-18
HA/KS 21-Aug-18
Salagi 21-Aug-18
woodguy65 21-Aug-18
woodguy65 21-Aug-18
woodguy65 21-Aug-18
spike78 21-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 21-Aug-18
Woods Walker 21-Aug-18
HA/KS 21-Aug-18
petedrummond 21-Aug-18
Woods Walker 22-Aug-18
RobinHood 22-Aug-18
JL 22-Aug-18
JL 22-Aug-18
JL 22-Aug-18
Spike Bull 22-Aug-18
TD 22-Aug-18
HA/KS 22-Aug-18
woodguy65 23-Aug-18
woodguy65 23-Aug-18
Seapig@work 23-Aug-18
Hawkarcher 23-Aug-18
elkmtngear 23-Aug-18
elkmtngear 23-Aug-18
HA/KS 23-Aug-18
Trax 23-Aug-18
elkmtngear 23-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 23-Aug-18
HA/KS 23-Aug-18
Shuteye 23-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 24-Aug-18
JL 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 24-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 24-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 24-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 24-Aug-18
HA/KS 25-Aug-18
HA/KS 25-Aug-18
HA/KS 25-Aug-18
HA/KS 26-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 26-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 26-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 26-Aug-18
Salagi 26-Aug-18
Kurt in Memphis 26-Aug-18
woodguy65 27-Aug-18
woodguy65 27-Aug-18
woodguy65 27-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 27-Aug-18
HA/KS 27-Aug-18
HA/KS 27-Aug-18
Salagi 27-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 27-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 28-Aug-18
bigswivle 28-Aug-18
scentman 28-Aug-18
casekiska 28-Aug-18
scentman 28-Aug-18
JD 28-Aug-18
HA/KS 28-Aug-18
woodguy65 29-Aug-18
woodguy65 29-Aug-18
woodguy65 29-Aug-18
JL 29-Aug-18
Highlife 29-Aug-18
Shuteye 29-Aug-18
Shuteye 29-Aug-18
HA/KS 30-Aug-18
elkmtngear 30-Aug-18
elkmtngear 30-Aug-18
Shuteye 30-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 30-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 30-Aug-18
CPMike 30-Aug-18
'Ike' (Phone) 31-Aug-18
Annony Mouse 31-Aug-18
HA/KS 01-Sep-18
From: Seapig@work
01-Aug-18
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............ "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

01-Aug-18

IdyllwildArcher's embedded Photo
IdyllwildArcher's embedded Photo

From: spike78
01-Aug-18
Now that’s funny!

From: BIG BEAR
01-Aug-18

BIG BEAR's embedded Photo
BIG BEAR's embedded Photo

01-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
01-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
01-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: bad karma
01-Aug-18

bad karma's embedded Photo
bad karma's embedded Photo

02-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: Woods Walker
02-Aug-18
MARITAL MISUNDERSTANDING..................

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.

He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, "nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him.

He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, “I love you, too.”

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.

But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

A one-foot putt.. Who the f*#@ misses a one-foot putt?

From: Seapig@work
02-Aug-18

Seapig@work's embedded Photo
Seapig@work's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
02-Aug-18
Victoria Secret is merging with Smith & Wesson. They will be called Titty Titty Bang Bang.

02-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
Lol...SP@Work!

From: Zbone
03-Aug-18

Zbone's embedded Photo
Zbone's embedded Photo
Having a sh!tty day...8^)

From: Woods Walker
03-Aug-18
Yes......but TICK FREE!! (Everything has it's price......)

03-Aug-18
I am tired of all these accusations about Trump's sexual conduct.

Hillary Clinton has never been accused of having sex with anyone!

From: HA/KS
03-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

03-Aug-18
yeah, now when you get arrested for snorting they get you for the straw and not the cocaine.

From: Shuteye
04-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

04-Aug-18
LOL! Love it, Shuteye!

From: Seapig
04-Aug-18
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.

This significant offering was repeated the next week.

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and observed an elderly woman place the distinctive pink envelope on the collection plate; this went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I could not help but notice that every week you put $1,000 in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why, yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That is wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot; are you sure you can continue this generosity? How much does he send you?"

The elderly parishioner answered, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is obviously very successful. What does he do for a living?" "He is a veterinarian," she answered, proudly.

"That is an honorable profession, but I had no idea that animal doctors made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The woman answered, "In Nevada. He has one cat house in Las Vegas, and one in Reno."

From: tonyo6302
04-Aug-18

tonyo6302's embedded Photo
tonyo6302's embedded Photo

From: Salagi
04-Aug-18

Salagi's embedded Photo
Salagi's embedded Photo
So I got a shake at some hamburger joint in Houston Thursday evening and this is the straw. The picture does not do it justice. I think I will save it in case I ever go to California. Some things at least are really bigger in Texas. ;)

From: HA/KS
05-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
06-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Brotsky
06-Aug-18

Brotsky's embedded Photo
Brotsky's embedded Photo

From: DL
06-Aug-18
I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

06-Aug-18

Mike the Carpenter's embedded Photo
Mike the Carpenter's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
06-Aug-18

From: BIG BEAR
06-Aug-18
DL...... When you said you were offered sex with a 21 year old girl today....... I was certain that the offer was coming from a local mortician..........

From: Salagi
06-Aug-18

Salagi's embedded Photo
Salagi's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
06-Aug-18

From: Annony Mouse
06-Aug-18

From: Annony Mouse
06-Aug-18

Zeidan Logic again:

From: HA/KS
06-Aug-18
That last one is priceless!

From: Seapig@work
07-Aug-18

Seapig@work's embedded Photo
Seapig@work's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
07-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
07-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
07-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
Finally a parking spot for fat guys who BBQ
HA/KS's embedded Photo
Finally a parking spot for fat guys who BBQ

From: HA/KS
08-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
Sign found in rural Kansas - far from anything
HA/KS's embedded Photo
Sign found in rural Kansas - far from anything

From: tonyo6302
08-Aug-18

tonyo6302's embedded Photo
tonyo6302's embedded Photo

08-Aug-18

Spike Bull 's Link

From: Woods Walker
08-Aug-18

Woods Walker's embedded Photo
Woods Walker's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
08-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
08-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
08-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
08-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
08-Aug-18
^^^^^YES!^^^^^

From: HA/KS
08-Aug-18
Great improvement on that landscape, mouse.

From: Woods Walker
08-Aug-18

From: HA/KS
08-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
08-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

08-Aug-18

Kurt in Memphis's embedded Photo
Kurt in Memphis's embedded Photo
This was my Halloween costume a few years ago.

From: scentman
09-Aug-18
Woods, that made my week... looks on the students faces was priceless!

From: HA/KS
09-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
09-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
09-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
09-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
09-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
09-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
09-Aug-18
A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their project manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lunch break when they come upon an old brass lamp. They pick it up and dust it off.

Poof -- out pops a genie.

"Thank you for releasing me from my lamp-prison. I can grant you 3 wishes. Since there are 3 of you I will grant one wish to each of you."

The hardware engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be sailing a yacht across the Pacific, racing before the wind, with an all-girl crew."

"It is done," said the Genie, and poof, the hardware engineer disappears.

The software engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be riding my Harley with a gang of beautiful women throughout the American Southwest."

"It is done," said the Genie, and poof, the software engineer disappears.

The project manager looks at where the other two had been standing and rubs his chin in thought. Then he tells the Genie, "I'd like those two back in the office after lunch."

From: Shuteye
09-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
10-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

11-Aug-18
The Bronze Rat

A tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the ‘exotic’ merchandise, he noticed a very ‘lifelike’, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, “How much for the bronze rat?”

“Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story,” said the wise old Chinaman.

The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story”

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting, so he began walking faster.

A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing. Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward San Francisco Bay.

Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the millions, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.

Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.

Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and were all drowned.

The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.

“Ahhh,” said the owner, “You come back for story?”

“No sir,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat

From: HA/KS
11-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
11-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo
Bugeyed Bullshitters

From: HA/KS
12-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
12-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: BIG BEAR
12-Aug-18
Now that’s funny !!!

From: RK
12-Aug-18
Past funny!

From: freeglee
12-Aug-18
RACIST!!!!!!!! And not funny!!!!!!!

From: BIG BEAR
12-Aug-18
How is that racist ?? Any dipshit of any color is free to take a knee .....

From: bowbender77
12-Aug-18
freeglee = TROLL !

From: RK
12-Aug-18
Freeglee White guys have taken a knee

Nobody can be that dumb unless they have no idea as to what has actually happened with the take a knee issues. And in your case that may have happened

Bzzzzzt try again.

From: HA/KS
13-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo
This is a copy of an actual ad. What are we worshiping today that will soon seem as ridiculous?

From: HA/KS
13-Aug-18
Raccoon with cotton candy

From: Annony Mouse
13-Aug-18

From: CPMike
13-Aug-18

CPMike's embedded Photo
CPMike's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
13-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Woods Walker
14-Aug-18
I came home from work one day and my wife had a dour look on her face.

I asked......"What's the matter?"

"I'm not happy", she replied.

"So which one of the 7 Dwarfs are you?", I said.

The rest of the evening didn't go too well!

From: Hunting5555
14-Aug-18
Henry, I remember when my uncle got an IBM XT and it had a 10mb hard drive!!! That was the coolest thing EVER!!!!! I would spend hours at their house working on that computer.

From: HA/KS
14-Aug-18
5555, I once had a boss tell me that he got a 20mb drive and that it was overkill as nobody would ever use that much memory.

The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals:

"We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."

From: HA/KS
14-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
14-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: sleepyhunter
14-Aug-18

sleepyhunter's embedded Photo
sleepyhunter's embedded Photo

14-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

14-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: NvaGvUp
14-Aug-18
I got this out of Golf Digest in a long story about current golf announcer and former PGA pro golfer, David Flaherty.

As you may know, Flaherty has been announcing golf on TV for a very long time. He's also incredibly funny, so much so that friends convinced him to do stand up comedy.

In the interview, he mentions that Tiger Woods has a great sense of humor as well. He then cites a time when Tiger was playing a tournament and Flaherty was following his group.

Tiger and Flaherty are long-time friends, and at some point Tiger asked Flaherty, "Do you know what you call a black guy who flies airplanes?"

Flaherty resonded, "No, what?"

Tiger replied, laughing, "A pilot, you 'effing racist!"

Now that's funny because it's so true at so many levels and he and Tiger both knew it was a joke and a poke at the PC crowd.

From: HA/KS
14-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: NvaGvUp
14-Aug-18
Henry,

I've never met PZ and pray I never will.

But in thinking about him the other day, this song from The Wizard of Oz came to mind.

From: HA/KS
14-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: TD
15-Aug-18
dayamn.... I thought I skirted some code issues when I built my homes.....

maybe it's all ok and it's on a gfi? =D

From: HA/KS
15-Aug-18

From: tonyo6302
15-Aug-18
HA/KS, that one was a classic. LOL !

From: HA/KS
15-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo
Lawrence, KS Home of the University of Kansas.

From: HA/KS
15-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

15-Aug-18

Mike the Carpenter's embedded Photo
Mike the Carpenter's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
15-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
15-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

15-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
15-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
15-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
15-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
15-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: sleepyhunter
16-Aug-18
So this grizzled old man was sitting hunched over the bar nursing the final drink before closing time. This lady of the evening approaches, perches on the stool next to him, and places her hand on his knee. "Old timer, this is your lucky night! I'm having a senior citizens discount. I'll do anything you want for $50.00 if you can say it in three words!"

"Three words?" he asks.

"Yes, three words!"

"$50?" he asks.

"Yes, anything, $50, three words! ANYTHING!!!" she says...

The grizzled old man focuses his eyes on his drink, on the woman, back to his drink, then locks eyes with the woman, hands her a $50, and says, "Paint...my...house."

From: Shuteye
16-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
16-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
16-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

16-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: HighLife
17-Aug-18
Gotta love hockey and the tough mutha's that play it.

From: HA/KS
17-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
This brought to you by Adam ZAPasnik
HA/KS's embedded Photo
This brought to you by Adam ZAPasnik
Pro tip: if you connect the top socket to the bottom with paper clips it recycles your electricity and makes it last forever.

From: elkmtngear
17-Aug-18

elkmtngear's embedded Photo
elkmtngear's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
17-Aug-18
I did NOT submit this image and don't remember how to delete it. It is NOT my image and I don't know where it came from.

From: Annony Mouse
17-Aug-18

From: Annony Mouse
17-Aug-18
Briarcliff Manor school playground...

From: Woods Walker
17-Aug-18
I TOLD MY SON, "YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE."

HE SAID, "NO."

I TOLD HIM, "SHE IS BILL GATES' DAUGHTER."

HE SAID, "YES."

I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, "I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON."

BILL GATES SAID, "NO."

I TOLD BILL GATES, "MY SON IS THE CEO OF THE WORLD BANK."

BILL GATES SAID, "OK."

I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE CEO

HE SAID, "NO."

I TOLD HIM, "MY SON IS BILL GATES' SON-IN-LAW."

HE SAID, "OK."

AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS.

From: TD
18-Aug-18

TD's embedded Photo
TD's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
18-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
18-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
19-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
19-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
19-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
19-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: trublucolo
19-Aug-18
The first and last one of the group Henry just posted are classic, Thanks Henry - brain freeze ;-)

19-Aug-18
Dylan, LMAO...

From: HA/KS
19-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
19-Aug-18
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

From: Annony Mouse
19-Aug-18

From: Annony Mouse
19-Aug-18

From: HA/KS
19-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Tonybear61
19-Aug-18
What the cheapest meat in the marketplace? Deer testicles. You usually get those under a buck.

Yep my teenage son told me that one...

From: Woods Walker
19-Aug-18
And it's a TWO-FER!

From: HA/KS
20-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
20-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
20-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: NvaGvUp
20-Aug-18
Henry,

That meme with the Golden Retriever is awesome, because as you know, she's indescribably sweet and loving.

I wouldn't sell her for a million dollars and I'd rather starve than have her for dinner.

From: Annony Mouse
20-Aug-18

From: HA/KS
20-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
20-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: JL
21-Aug-18

JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo
The wife sent this to me today.

From: HA/KS
21-Aug-18
"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”

(Robert Bloch)

From: Annony Mouse
21-Aug-18
If You Ever Wondered Where an Antifa Activist Bathed While Out On the Road

From: HA/KS
21-Aug-18
Old universities don't die, they just lose their faculties.

From: Salagi
21-Aug-18

Salagi's embedded Photo
Salagi's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
21-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
21-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
21-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: spike78
21-Aug-18
Lmao good ones!

From: Annony Mouse
21-Aug-18

From: Woods Walker
21-Aug-18
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in all the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week Can you do this?"

“Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesday …………..but I fish on Fridays.

From: HA/KS
21-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: petedrummond
21-Aug-18
Way to go wood man.

From: Woods Walker
22-Aug-18
The knee is not the problem . . ..

Children raised in fatherless homes, especially black children, are far more likely than children raised in two parent homes to engage in criminal behavior and thus, have contact with police. Ergo when they father a child with a woman to whom they are not married - or at least living with -they are contributing to the problem against which these football players are taking a knee.

If you look at many of these players' records on out-of-wedlock children, you find that they are contributing significantly to the problem against which they are protesting.

For example, Antonio Cromartie has 12 children by 9 different women. Apparently the NFL had to shell out $500,000 before he could even play football for them. Travis Henry has 11 children by 10 women, Willis McGahee has 9 children by 8 women, Derrick Thomas has 7 children by 5 different women, Bennie Blades has 6 children by 6 women, Ray Lewis has 6 children by 4 women and Marshall Faulk has 6 children by 3 women.

They forgot to include Adrian Peterson. 11 kids from 7 different women?

Before these guys take a knee they should take a good look in the mirror. It appears that their problem is not their knee. Its their weenee.

From: RobinHood
22-Aug-18

RobinHood's Link

From: JL
22-Aug-18

JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo
I was looking for new bumper stickers last night.

From: JL
22-Aug-18

JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo

From: JL
22-Aug-18
Been around for a bit but still funny.

22-Aug-18
THE ROAD TRIP

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turnaround, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grumpy old man.

He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive.

The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.

As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."

This coming week is National Senior Mental Health Week.

You can do YOUR part by remembering to contact at least one unstable Senior to show you care.

I have now done MY part.

From: TD
22-Aug-18
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?'

Harry answered, ' I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms.Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9..'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'Y’know I reckon Harry can go to the 3rdgrade'

But Ms. Brooks is still sceptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions..'

The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets..’ to the Principal’s great relief…..

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..

Ms.. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

Now the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Harry replied,'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question……

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher,

" Put the little bastard in 5th-Grade, I got the last seven questions wrong myself..."

From: HA/KS
22-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
23-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
23-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: Seapig@work
23-Aug-18

Seapig@work's embedded Photo
Seapig@work's embedded Photo

From: Hawkarcher
23-Aug-18

Hawkarcher's embedded Photo
Hawkarcher's embedded Photo

From: elkmtngear
23-Aug-18

elkmtngear's embedded Photo
elkmtngear's embedded Photo

From: elkmtngear
23-Aug-18

elkmtngear's embedded Photo
elkmtngear's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
23-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Trax
23-Aug-18
Great pic there elk! So good I had to borrow it for another thread if that's ok!

From: elkmtngear
23-Aug-18
Absolutely, Trax! It's funny...because it's true!

From: Annony Mouse
23-Aug-18
All really good humor has a kernel of truth within...

From: HA/KS
23-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
23-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

24-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
24-Aug-18
German puns are the wurst.

From: HA/KS
24-Aug-18
A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.

During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's like a completely different place -- the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

"Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

"Yes, Reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

From: JL
24-Aug-18

JL's embedded Photo
JL's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
24-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
24-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
24-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
24-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo
Since Bowsiters on Occupation thread have proven to be such an eclectic group, we can raise the level of humor :-)

24-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
24-Aug-18

From: Annony Mouse
24-Aug-18

From: HA/KS
24-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
25-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
25-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
25-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
26-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
26-Aug-18
Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams "Allah ho akhbar!", raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

What is a Kimber 1911.45 ACP?

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

This is all so confusing!

............ .......... ........ ..... ......... ....... ........ ........ .

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

............ ....... ...... ........ ......... ........ .......... ....

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!' 'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!

From: Annony Mouse
26-Aug-18

From: Annony Mouse
26-Aug-18

From: Salagi
26-Aug-18

Salagi's embedded Photo
Salagi's embedded Photo

26-Aug-18

Kurt in Memphis's Link
I loved these old Mercedes commercials....clink on the link or copy/paste https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4PZWAn-VJo

From: woodguy65
27-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
27-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
27-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
27-Aug-18

From: HA/KS
27-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
One of the buggy races at Yoder Heritage Day 2018. They were literally flying! Yoder, KS.
HA/KS's embedded Photo
One of the buggy races at Yoder Heritage Day 2018. They were literally flying! Yoder, KS.
Photo by Marilyn Evans Bartholomew Friesen

Yoder is a largely Mennonite community with a great restaurant serving some of the best food you will ever eat.

From: HA/KS
27-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: Salagi
27-Aug-18

Salagi's embedded Photo
Salagi's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
27-Aug-18
A bigger troll than the Putz?

Spotlight on Master Level Troller

An artist who had a studio under a well-traveled airplane landing route, in a fit of impishness, decided to paint Welcome To Cleveland on his roof. It’s a nice greeting. The problem is, he’s in Milwaukee.

The sign sends passengers into a panic.

The airplanes routinely have to make an announcement about the rooftop message, making him one of the biggest trolls in the country.

28-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
^^^ LMAO

From: bigswivle
28-Aug-18

bigswivle's embedded Photo
bigswivle's embedded Photo

From: scentman
28-Aug-18
We all know about little Johnny and his teacher... well she thought she had him on this one. Little Johnny, use the word resource in a sentence please. Little Johnny... after a couple of cold beers ma daddy says he needs to pee like a resource.

From: casekiska
28-Aug-18
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the work urinate in a sentence. She knew she had him and he would not be able to do it. Little Johnny surprised her when he said: "Teacher,...urinate, if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten!"

From: scentman
28-Aug-18
ugh case... I'm speechless :o)

From: JD
28-Aug-18

JD's embedded Photo
JD's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
28-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
29-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
29-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: woodguy65
29-Aug-18

woodguy65's embedded Photo
woodguy65's embedded Photo

From: JL
29-Aug-18
CHICKEN GUN

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW.

THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS. NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO:

"DEFROST THE CHICKEN."

From: Highlife
29-Aug-18
Now that made me spit all over my phone lmaooooo

From: Shuteye
29-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
29-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: HA/KS
30-Aug-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo
This is humorous no matter your politics.

From: elkmtngear
30-Aug-18

elkmtngear's embedded Photo
elkmtngear's embedded Photo

From: elkmtngear
30-Aug-18

elkmtngear's embedded Photo
elkmtngear's embedded Photo

From: Shuteye
30-Aug-18

Shuteye's embedded Photo
Shuteye's embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
30-Aug-18

From: Annony Mouse
30-Aug-18

From: CPMike
30-Aug-18

CPMike's embedded Photo
CPMike's embedded Photo
This is what my neighbor said:

31-Aug-18

'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo
'Ike' (Phone)'s embedded Photo

From: Annony Mouse
31-Aug-18

From: HA/KS
01-Sep-18

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

HA/KS's Link
"Trump Wins 19th Consecutive ‘Employee Of The Month’ Award At White House"

WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a small ceremony in the West Wing of the White House, officials pulled down a curtain revealing the portrait of this month’s winner of the White House’s Employee of the Month award, and for the 19th consecutive time, the winner was President Donald Trump.

“In your face!” Trump shouted at janitor Steve Thompson, who many say had upped his toilet scrubbing game in an attempt to win the award, which comes with a $30 gift certificate for Dave & Busters.

Trump started the Employee of the Month award as soon as he became president in an effort to motivate various staff members of the White House, but so far he has been the only one to win it. “I’m doing a tremendous job,” Trump told his staff as he hung another portrait of himself on the wall. “No one comes close to doing as good a job as me. Look at jobs. Look at the economy. Once again, I really deserve this award.”

  • Sitka Gear