Over the last couple years, I've, regrettably, had to go to a couple funerals for men in thier early 40s, the last on hit 40, 2 weeks ago. They had wives, jobs, kids. But they couldn't put the bottle down, drinking themselves into organ failure and death. Not from one wild night, but from daily drinking, which they couldn't stop.
I've never liked the taste of alcohol, so I've never been a drinker. Just not my thing. But seeing these families ripped apart due to booze, it sucks!
If you cant finish a day, have a good time, or feel good without a drink... please talk to your health care provider and make sure you are ok, and that alcohol isnt running you.
There's a locally owned/produced dairy store chain around here...Oberweis....(in fact the founder's son, Jim, is my State Senator....and a decent one too) who's ice cream is SO good that when it melts it's still thick enough to just about stand a spoon up in!
I used to be an alcoholic. Bad. For a decade. Gave myself to the Lord, and lost that addiction easily. I went for years without touching it. Then got into drinking one occasionally with dinner. I simply don’t like it much anymore.
Then I started my own business. I immediately tripled my income and doubled my freedom. That's a bad combo for a guy that likes to drink and gamble. I didn't see it happening but before I knew it, alcohol had completely taken over. I was only working enough to cover my bills but then I'd spend the bill money on alcohol. Every day I'd wake up and tell myself "GO TO WORK" but every day I'd find myself at the golf course with a case of beer. I'd golf all day long until I ran out of beer. Then drive home drunk and tell my amazing wife to go fuck herself when she'd yell at me about it. Then winter came and I had more bills than money. I chose to use what little money I had to try and win more by gambling instead of just going to work and slowly paying my bills off. Of course I'd get shitface drunk at the casino too, then drive home drunk and argue with my wife.
I had spiraled completely out of control. I was lying to everyone who loves me. I HATED who I'd become but for some reason I still couldn't stay sober for more than a day. I'd become everything I told myself I'd never be and everything I hated in other men.
Feb 16, 2018 I'd had a particularly bad drunk. Normally I'd have just driven home and dealt with a pissed off wife but for some reason I called my son for a ride. He didn't come get me though. He called my cousin a local cop and had him bring me to my moms house. That morning I finally had a moment of clarity.
I'd had enough. I had my mom bring me home and when I saw my wife and the tearful bags under her eyes I completely broke down. I confessed all my lies. I told her about my debt. I told her I was finally ready to change. That morning I went to my first AA meeting.
It was scary walking into that meeting but I knew I had to. I'd tried a million times to quit, control it, cut back all to no avail. A woman sitting next to me looked over, touched my arm and with a warm welcoming smile simply said "it will get better ". I left that meeting with something I hadn't had in a long time,,,,,,hope. I went to another meeting that night, and another the next morning. Lots of meetings that first week. Somehow I was able to stay sober! I still go to at least 3/4 meetings a week. I haven't had a drink since feb 16. I do what the folks around those tables suggest I do. They have happiness and serenity. I wanted that too.
I've busted my ass working since then and have managed to pay off $21,000 in debt. I have $2,500 left and I'll owe no one anything! My wife is back in love with me! My kids are free of stress at home and can concentrate on their schooling. My business is booming again.
I still miss my beer, I still love it. I now have the tools I need to be able to not drink it though. I am more busy than I've ever been but I have found my inner peace. I know that I'll never be able to have even one more drink as long as I'm alive and I'm thankful I don't have to. I was on the precipice of losing everything I loved and now I have so much more!
That little old woman was sooo right. It does get better!!! Thanks for letting me share my story.
Shane Honore' Alcoholic
I have a friend in his early 30s that did nearly that. He would drink an 18 pack a day. One more who got acute pancreatitis from frequent binge drinking while in college.
I have my history with alcohol. When I was a college student, I came to believe in the multiverse because I figured there was no way I survived the previous night. I figured there had to be a dimension where I rightfully died... That should put it in perspective. Anyway, at 47 and much healthier than I was in college, I have come to believe, if there is no biological imperative for a substance, I'd sooner do without. I suspect there is no "moderate level" of an acute or chronic toxin. Life is good.
Your story is very familiar to me but without the nice ending. I seen from a very young age what alcohol can do to a family and after 42 years of marriage my parents divorced, largely because of it. Also my favorite person ever- my uncle Charlie (we named our son Charlie) died of lung cancer in his 50's.
I've never smoked anything in my life and I RARELY drink alcohol. My wife and I went on a vacation last October to California and i had some wine during a wine tour- nothing since.
My problem is i have some wires crossed in my brain and i easily become addicted to things- regardless of what it is. I got into archery elk hunting for a bit and killed 15 elk in 10 years. Took up fur trapping pretty seriously and now own thousands of traps. I got into shooting 3 gun competitions and now could cover my mortgage for several years with the competition guns I have- and I have a new fully customized benelli m2 shipping out any day.
No matter what new hobby i find i somehow take it to extremes. I see it happening but I'm not going into debt and I'm not lying to my wife about it. I know for a fact I would be an awesome drunk- and fear of my wife and kids seeing me go down that rabbit hole helps keep me away from alcohol.
Thanks for sharing your story Shane and I wish you the best. By the way, Tuesday is the 34th anniversary of my uncle Charlie's passing.
Michael
I grew up with alcoholic parents, and began to follow in their footsteps. I drank alot and when returning from Vietnam I stayed in a drunken stupor for about 10 years. I then woke up one morning and decided I had had enough and wanted to make something of myself. I quit, went back to school and made a success of myself whereas I could have just fallen down the rabbit hole and probably be dead by now. I am 67 and have lost many good friends to alcoholism and daily see many that are still reeling from that dreaded disease.
I grew up with alcoholic parents, and began to follow in their footsteps. I drank alot and when returning from Vietnam I stayed in a drunken stupor for about 10 years. I then woke up one morning and decided I had had enough and wanted to make something of myself. I quit, went back to school and made a success of myself whereas I could have just fallen down the rabbit hole and probably be dead by now. I am 67 and have lost many good friends to alcoholism and daily see many that are still reeling from that dreaded disease.
The reason why it is forgetful is that as time goes by a person forgets the feeling of the bottom. AA meetings are the reminder. I do not attend AA meetings presently because a sober alcoholic preaching its values is as annoying as any practicing drunk. To intentionally run AA into the ground is not my goal. It is a glorious way to meet people that do not want to drink daily. What they teach is that your drinking friends are not your friends. Which i cannot totally agree with other than the fact that staying away from your drinking friends keeps you out of the atmosphere of alcohol. Since most of you might think I am totally crazy by my threads you might be partially correct. I threatened a Judge on the Chief Deputy's email address in my county of residence about 3 and a half years ago. I made an NGRI defense and did 3 years and 3 months locked up on a 5 year bit. 2 years and 3 months were spent in a forensic state mental hospital. The point I am attempting to make is that the time taught me that I could enjoy playing cards, chess, dominoes, and other leisure activities without the buzz that I thought I enjoyed for the better part of my life. I am having the most fun of my life without having to have a beer in my hand. Yes, I would firmly recommend that if a person has enough humility to say alcohol has beaten me for the last time it is necessary to humble oneself to walk through the AA doors daily for the sickening reminder of where you have been and where you could end up with insanity of alcohol abuse. It is an extremely personal decision not to pick up. Sober or not alcoholics can be very crafty and to finally stop lieing to oneself is a big secret to staying sober.
Due to too many alcoholics in my family (my parents were about the only sober ones) I decided while still in grade school that I wouldn't drink or smoke. Great decision on my part.
I think I would have been as bad as anyone I knew or anyone here. I'm not great at quitting an addiction.
Thanks to everyone who has bared their soul here. Hopefully it helps someone realize they are in trouble, or avoid getting into an alcoholic mess.
Wapitidung
I remember a thread that I cannot find now where I remember you and Kelly Harris both professing how much you drank on a weekend. I was more than a little amazed that someone could drink that much day after day. I believe that is was shortly thereafter that you had your stroke and Kelly passed this year. I also remember a comment from the thread where you said that you could drink that much and it didn't affect your loved ones. I thought at the time I wondered if your wife thought the same? Your latest post answered all those questions - thank you for that. I am sure that your wife and son(s) are also appreciative of your change. Keep it up for life.
Once I was out of the hospital I still wasn't allowed to work. Ladders, paintbrushes and lack of complete muscle control don't mix. I had lots of time on my hands and golfing is excellent therapy. My son was doing the best he could as job sight supervisor but the jobs weren't getting done quickly enough and the money was dwindling. After a couple weeks I knew I was good enough to go back to work but I was enjoying my drunken golf therapy so I milked it as long as I could.
Before I knew it I was out of money and still kept screwing around instead of working. It progressively got worse and worse. I think back on those times and wish I'd have done things differently but I can't change it now and I'm glad I have finally been able to get sober.
In case you're wondering, the doctors say I am now healthy as a horse. Just went in last week for a checkup. The only lasting side effect is my short term memory. I have to write myself notes for everything. Aaaand now that I'm sober, my golf game is better than ever!
Wonderful! I mean that. Some people don't survive to get that 2nd chance and a lot more don't take advantage of it. Keep up the effort to be better each day. You have some missed (good) years with your wife/son to make up for.
I applaud you for being real with yourself and, doing the right thing for you and yours. Put your faith in God and, never look back. I'm so happy hearing this. God Bless man
A great gift for yourselves, your families, and all you encounter.
And if the golf game is better - that's a bonus as well!
he broke his neck diving into a pool and never recovered
I lost one of my best friends when he was 43. It has been ten years and the ache still doesn't go away. What could I have done to help him? we were busy setting up an intervention when he passed. I miss him every single day.
My Granfather was an alcoholic so i have always been very careful to limit my drinking. Never drank at home alone and made sure never drank more than once a week. This really paid off when idonated my kidney to my wife, the Dr said it was pristine and the healthest kidney he has ever seen. So maybe God had a plan.
Hunting, as others noted, yes, that same Kelly. I believe it was a freak accident while swimming. His daughter posted info a few times, which was hard to read. I never met Kelly, but his contributions to bowsite were some that I really enjoyed over the years. Sad to see him gone, and very sad for his family.
God bless his family and friends!
I had a client who died before his 30th birthday of cirrhosis of the liver and know of two more not much older. And a friend's niece at 38 carries oxygen now for COPD because of pot smoking.
Another died in her forties by rupturing a vein in her stomach from severe binge drinking.
Moderation, moderation, moderation, and for some, it must be abstinence.
I salute you all that have or are climbing out of this disease, life is way too short and as Owl stated it is so true.
