LINK's Link
I found that comics/graphics far too often make a point that justifies the adage " a picture is worth a thousand words". Also, Pat's program only allows the posting of jpg's that are saved on ones computer. I found that it was easier to embed a linked image rather than saving, converting to jpg and then posting in "the regular manner".
I usually try to adjust size of my posts, but sometimes forget. I rarely post using my phone or tablet as it is a hassle to embed graphics (or even type anything) for me on those devices. I try to make sure that the size is not too big by checking and usually edit to fix). I use multiple browsers (FF, Chrome, Brave, Vivaldi, Opera) and can see the post in question on all of them.
Solo...suggest you take a look at your browser's settings...that may be the problem.
Lastly, anyone finding a problem with any of my posts...please PM me and I will make all attempts to fix any problems seen.
Here's an oldie, but goodie:
Salagi's Link
Like this Lex? ;)
Thinking back a few years, living in Houston, I remember Hurricane Ike. I was ready for it but my husband was not.
When the wind reached a screaming pitch with the trees snapping and threshing, the horizontal streaming rain, flying roof shingles and destroyed fences, as well as the unnerving sound-levels, my husband was rooted to the spot. He stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with his nose pressed to the windowpane, the stark fear in his eyes will stay with me forever.
Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds temporarily lessened, I was able to open the door and let him in.
Annony Mouse's Link
BFH at IOTWReport has created movie posters on plays based upon the Clintons.
Such as:
More at link.
At the Club, the Doorman says, “Hi Jim, How are you?”
The Wife asks, “How does he know you?”
Jim says, “Oh, dear, I play football with him.”
Inside, the Bartender says, “The usual, Jim?”
Jim says to the wife, “Before you say anything, he’s on the darts team.”
Next a Stripper says, “Hi Jim! Do you crave the Special again?”
The wife storms out dragging Jim with her and jumps into a taxi…
The Taxi Driver says, “Hey Jimmy Boy! Low on money? You picked up an ugly one this time…”
Jim’s funeral is on Sunday….
Shuteye's Link
A girl and her friend are sitting in a busy night club where lots of people are dancing. The friend says, 'Honey, you should find someone to dance with.' The girl says, " I don't know, I'm so self conscious about my wooden eye. Guys always stare at it and make fun of it and say mean things.' The friend says, "What about that guy over there with the wooden leg? Look, he just smiled at you. Surely a guy with a wooden leg wouldn't be judgmental.' So the girl says, 'OK, I'll go ask him. Not sure he can even dance with that wooden leg. But he's kinda cute." So she gets up and walks over to the guy with the wooden leg. He gives her a great big smile as she walks up, since every other girl has ignored him all night. "Would you be interested in dancing with a girl like me?" she asks. The guy can barely contain himself. Standing up, he yells out, "Oh wouldn't I!!! .
Aghast, she sticks her finger in his face and yells, "PEG LEG!"
"We need to talk........"
Bill v
Excuse me, I think I threw up a little......
The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!". The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.
The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by. The Umpire calls: "Walk." The batter starts his slow trot to first base. The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy *******, rrrun!" The people around him begin laughing. Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.
A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, “He can't run -- he has four balls."
The Scot stands up and screams: "Walk with pride, Laddie!"
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
Protester demands that GOP Senator @BillCassidy "apologize to my children for ruining their futures.”
— Benny (@bennyjohnson) October 12, 2018
Cassidy looks at the kids: “Guess what? Your parents are using you as tools. In the future if somebody makes an allegation against you & there’s no proof for it, you'll be OK." pic.twitter.com/y6WKtPhpYO
IdyllwildArcher's Link
And I for one am very thankful!!
Shuteye's Link
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says, "You can date whoever you want. He isn't your father!"
The next morning, the first one looked at the others and said "Good morning." The second replied "Good morning this morning." The third one beamed and said, "Good morning this morning. How are you this morning?" The fourth one cleared her throat and replied, "Howdy".
A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life."
The Harley rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."
The reporter says, "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page.
So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?" The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I voted for Trump". The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
** U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH.
Tonybear61's Link
As I recall this originally aired about 20 years ago.
On a more serious note, would be great when dealing with antifa crossing guard mobs in Portland and elsewhere.
Why couldn't the witch have any kids?
Because her husband had a "Hollow-Weenie"! [rimshot.....]
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!
5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.
6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.
7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.
8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything. When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.
He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole!"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"
Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole?"
Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.
How often can one get an attorney to incriminate his own client?
1. If you were to strip naked and run around in a circle at the speed of 186,282 miles/sec (the speed of light), it would theoretically be possible for you to screw yourself.
2. However, since you are not physically capable of achieving that speed at your age, you can also accomplish the same result by:
Voting Democratic in the November election.
Club a seal, as the alternative would put them in jail.
After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS/PMT."
The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it.
The following week after service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read, . . .
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
BUMP!…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
[Wait for it...]
The coffin stops.
"Kansas City police recover giant inflatable colon"
Putzie's world
