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Contributors to this thread:
orionsbrother 09-Jan-19
Kevin Dill 09-Jan-19
spike78 09-Jan-19
HA/KS 09-Jan-19
BIG BEAR 09-Jan-19
Mike the Carpenter 09-Jan-19
Shuteye 09-Jan-19
Rocky 09-Jan-19
orionsbrother 10-Jan-19
Bluetick1 10-Jan-19
Mint 10-Jan-19
K Cummings 10-Jan-19
Owl 10-Jan-19
Glunt@work 10-Jan-19
BowSniper 10-Jan-19
HDE 10-Jan-19
Nomad @ work 10-Jan-19
South Farm 10-Jan-19
Jeff Durnell 10-Jan-19
Woods Walker 10-Jan-19
JL 10-Jan-19
orionsbrother 10-Jan-19
Woods Walker 10-Jan-19
Bake 10-Jan-19
Franzen 10-Jan-19
orionsbrother 10-Jan-19
Factory rat 10-Jan-19
HA/KS 10-Jan-19
orionsbrother 10-Jan-19
South Farm 10-Jan-19
HA/KS 10-Jan-19
Your fav poster 10-Jan-19
Rob Nye 10-Jan-19
TD 10-Jan-19
Keith 10-Jan-19
Owl 10-Jan-19
HA/KS 10-Jan-19
orionsbrother 10-Jan-19
HA/KS 10-Jan-19
Zbone 10-Jan-19
HA/KS 12-Jan-19
spike78 12-Jan-19
HA/KS 12-Jan-19
orionsbrother 12-Jan-19
Tjw 12-Jan-19
orionsbrother 18-Jan-19
Will 18-Jan-19
HA/KS 18-Jan-19
WV Mountaineer 19-Jan-19
orionsbrother 19-Jan-19
HA/KS 19-Jan-19
Woods Walker 19-Jan-19
orionsbrother 19-Jan-19
HA/KS 19-Jan-19
orionsbrother 19-Jan-19
Amoebus 19-Jan-19
tonyo6302 19-Jan-19
09-Jan-19
I recognize that I’m at risk of being a horrible husband.

Work has been nuts for the last eight days and I’ve been cranking some long hours with lots of other commitments. So, I’ve been short on sleep and need to vent or else I’m going to growl at the wrong person.

WTF!!! Does it require a Y chromosome to empty a garbage can? You don’t get points for a taller stack.

Or push a light switch downward?

Or replace the toilet paper roll with a new one? Especially after using four pounds of toilet paper?

I know that kids have to be fed, but why does a refrigerator have to be packed like a Japanese commuter car at rush hour?

I work to sort through the laundry with frilly crap that has washing instructions like War and Peace. Can’t you check my pockets before going into the wash in case I missed a receipt at 12:45 in the morning?

What is it about an extra X chromosome that enables you to ignore that every surface in the truck you drive is sticky?

Why is it OK for me to be humorously targeted for my stable of tents, but the, yet greater volume of shoes I encounter is off limits?

How many hair care products are REALLY necessary?

The space occupied by the expensive cabinet full of expensive, fancy dishes that are never used is OK, but my Klipsch speakers, that do get used, take up too much space?

And MY freezer, MY GAME FREEZER... why do I have to dig through bags of frozen sourkraut and boxes of fundraising frozen cookie dough to get some venison?

Rant over.

From: Kevin Dill
09-Jan-19
I just want to say I love my Klipsch speakers. Carry on.

From: spike78
09-Jan-19
Orion my wife will take the garbage bag out of the kitchen walk it outside smoke a cigarette and leave the bag 10 feet from the trash can. Can’t make this up!

From: HA/KS
09-Jan-19
I can't remember the last time I emptied a waste can, took out the trash, cleaned a car inside or out, wrote a check (except for hunt/fish license) or balanced a checking account, replaced a roll of paper, did the laundry, loaded or unloaded the dishwasher, etc.

Maybe I just married smarter.

From: BIG BEAR
09-Jan-19
That stuff you listed bugs you ?? Then you need to stop working so much. Nothing worth growling about there.

09-Jan-19
I bought a set of Klipsch tower speakers when I was stationed in Korea. I got an awesome deal on a new set over there. Sound was amazing and clear. That’s all I have to add, the rest is just small stuff. My advice, get off the computer and go enjoy some quality time together. Life comes and goes way to quick to sweat the small stuff.

From: Shuteye
09-Jan-19
I'm with you HA/KS.

From: Rocky
09-Jan-19
I raise eyebrows in our family because I freak when I open the frig or a kitchen cabinet and EVERYTHING is placed label to the rear. I mean everything. Now my wife and two children are left handed as is my father and they all do the same damned thing. They also put the twisty on counter thread and roll the chips and pretzel bags rolled back to the rear. No B.S. My wife says to me what in the hell is your problem, when I complain about it? I told her you have to be Kreskin if you want to know what your reaching for in this house. She says you have a phobia and I get the "bye see you later". There I am alone turning every label to the front pissed off, again. Never friggin ends.

The Rock

10-Jan-19
Ha! You guys all crack me up!

BB - I posted “growl”, not “go full sociopath”

I rolled home through the joy of Chicago traffic and encountered a series of pet peeves - not all that were listed.

I posted the list from my phone while taking my daily constitutional... with no toilet paper.

My attempt was to blow off some minor steam in a hopefully humorous way.

Then Henry rubbed my nose in it!

Good thing I haven’t yielded on my savage soothing Klipsch speakers!

From: Bluetick1
10-Jan-19
An observation. While leaving the toilet. seat up will bring howls and derision, women can never remember to leave the lid down. I don't know what function the seat in a down position serves, but the lid being down will certainly keep fido's nose out of the punch bowl.

From: Mint
10-Jan-19
Very funny Orion, I feel the same way and get good laugh out of the same things. Here are some of my pet peeves. Putting the garbage on the front steps but not taking it to the back of the house and putting it in the can. Going to BJ's/Costco and putting the groceries in 20 cardboard boxes that I have to break up aand tie for recycling when you don't need them. Having evey light on upstairs when you are downstairs. Same with TV. At least 20 light weight jackets. Getting in her car to move it and the radio comes on blasting. Expecting that once I finish eating that the split second later I put the dirty dish in the sink and or wash it.

From: K Cummings
10-Jan-19
I don't even know what a Klipsch speaker is but I can relate to pretty much all the rest.

Trust me though, the day will come when all those other things will be missed.

KPC

From: Owl
10-Jan-19
I am convinced the X chromosome conveys an incapacity to remove one's clothing without turning 1/2 the garment inside out whereas, my son and I are nearly 100% on everything being right side out.

The toilet habits of Americans is proof of the tyrannical matriarchy.

From: Glunt@work
10-Jan-19
Have you seen her list of peeves lately?

From: BowSniper
10-Jan-19
That's why they can't be President....

From: HDE
10-Jan-19
Sounds like it's time for winter to be over and fishing season to get under way. It isn't the day to day little things around the house and family innuendos that kills you at a young age, but a job sure will.

That is the culprit 99% of the time we are frustrated at home...

From: Nomad @ work
10-Jan-19

Nomad @ work's Link
Bluetick1....... In reference to the toilet lid. If you flush with the lid open (or someone's tush not blocking the hole) you will get a mushroom cloud of invisible toilet water with whatever else happens to reside in it at the time which will settle on whatever is in your bathroom. Towels, toothbrushes, ect. Always flush with the lid closed my friends.

From: South Farm
10-Jan-19
My kid would say you need to take a "chill pill", which just makes me madder. Only thing you can do is roll with it, get yourself a beer fridge for the garage, and pray you go to Heaven when it's all over;)

Worst thing you can do is dwell on it and let everything bother you...which our society REALLY ENJOYS!

From: Jeff Durnell
10-Jan-19
Yep, containers turned backwards is retarded. Our selection of cooking spices is fairly sizeable, with racks that rotate and such... why does it seem like every one of them is facing inward when I need something? On what planet is that a good idea? It takes no longer to set them down label out. Do you know how many different spices and herbs look exactly like parsley? . . . Tupperware, Glad containers and such... 10 different brands, no lids for half of them... and of course there's no reason to have the lids we DO have in the same vicinity as the container it goes on. . . . Scented candles, essential oil warmers, and such... why light 5 or 6 different scents simultaneously? Doesn't that defeat each of their purpose? I don't care for even a single one, and when she gets them all going? It's offensive. I just go out to the garage... hmmm, maybe THAT'S their purpose. Lol. I swear, I'm gonna go home, dump her shit out and fill them with some good stuff... PB Blaster, WD40, and hide glue.

From: Woods Walker
10-Jan-19
YIKES!!! And just think...the toilets at McDonalds don't have lids, so all the more reason to wear rubber gloves when you then use the kiosk touch screen to order your food after using the restroom! Talk about a turdburger.........!!!

From: JL
10-Jan-19
Now that I'm retired and mama still works...I do most of the stuff at home....cook, clean, sew, laundry, trash, vacuum, shop plus all of the outside "man" chores. If I'm not doing that I'm in the woods, boat or recliner. It's not a bad gig once you get the system figured out.

10-Jan-19
Glunt - What is this list you refer to? She often says that I am "God's gift to women and bowhunting"

So, I got that going for me.

KPC - Klipsch speakers are pretty decent speakers without shelling out the huge $$$$ for true audiophile speakers.

Jeff - I had to laugh several years ago. Somehow, a bar of my Fresh Earth Soap from a hunting trip ended up in our shower and my wife used it before heading to work in the Willis Tower, what used to be known as the Sears Tower. I had fun imagining her coworkers thinking to themselves, "What kind of perfume is that?"

From: Woods Walker
10-Jan-19
Good thing you didn't leave the "fox urine" soap in there!!! ;-)

From: Bake
10-Jan-19
My kindergartener (female) asked me this morning. . . "Why are you so angry?!". I answered, "Cause you won't do what I say the first time!".

The real answer should have gone like this, "Because I'm angry EVERY morning unless I'm going hunting! I haven't had my Diet Dr. Pepper yet, nor my first dip of Skoal. I've had a headache for 4 months. I have a 5 year old daughter! A 2 month old lab pup! I ran out of HOT WATER!! and it IS THE MORNING!!!!!" :)

I feel your list. :) I can relate. Even though my wife is good about all that, and I'm terrible at it.

But why is it that when she wants help with the dishes, it has to be RIGHT THE HELL NOW! But when I need help (which is NEVER), it's "Just a few minutes. I just sat down." *()&^(*&*(!!!!!!!

That's another thing, my girls need help with everything. I NEVER ask for help. EVER. Last time I asked my wife for help, I needed help putting the end gate back on a utility trailer. It's a 2 person job. but it takes 15 seconds. And that was 6 months ago!

I really don't have much to bitch about, so I'll give you some pet peeves of my own. . .

Online reviews: I've been shopping around for new bow accessories for a bow purchase. I read the reviews. People. . . Wait until you use the damn product before you review it!!!!!!! I'm so tired of "I just opened the box. Product X looks amazing and looks like it should work great." Are you effing kidding me!?!?! You haven't even used it and you're writing a review?!?!

I gotta stop. That one raises my blood pressure too much :)

Bake

From: Franzen
10-Jan-19
I could add to your list my friend. Stress at work can certainly make the simple things that could be done easily a lot more burdensome. My wife also works, and we do our own laundry. I think I will stick to that arrangement. My wife also rarely spends time in the garage or basement, so I've got ample space to put stuff that doesn't get eye rolls or complaints... well maybe eye rolls.

10-Jan-19
Another good wife story...

I was on a hunting trip and got a call from my wife. Yellow jackets had chewed a hole into the insulation where the A/C line ran into the house. I told her to throw some water into the shop vac and set it up with the hose propped up at the entrance to the hole and to leave it run.

The old shop vac died shortly.

She ran out and picked up a new shop vac... but she didn't put water in it. The new shop vac ran like a champ and she was in her night gown when she realized that it was still running. Our back yard is pretty private, so she slipped out in her nightgown to shut it off.

But she got curious.

She opened the shop vac, that had no water in it, to see how many yellow jackets had been sucked up.

Thousands of pissed off yellow jackets came swarming out!

She apparently dropped the shop vac top, sprinted across the yard yelling and rolling across the grass in her nightgown, swatting at the yellow jackets in her hair and on her night gown.

Somehow, she wasn't stung.

Because there was no harm done, I really wish that video of that episode existed.

10-Jan-19
Only thing I can add is don't even bring up money spent on hair care products or shoes. I tried that once and lost when she produced some recent credit card bills of hunting related products.

From: HA/KS
10-Jan-19

HA/KS's embedded Photo
My first attempt at cooking a turkey
HA/KS's embedded Photo
My first attempt at cooking a turkey
IL, I am pretty much at the place where you are. I was learning to cook and she said that if I cooked she would clean. I told her that is an offer I couldn't refuse.

I cooked a 15+ lb turkey for New Year's Eve and Day, made barley and lentil soup with the carcass, and a dressing casserole with much of the leftover meat.

All delicious. Frozen in individual meal-sized portions and she has main courses for her lunches for quite a while.

10-Jan-19
Good looking turkey Henry

From: South Farm
10-Jan-19
HA/KS...me and my wife have that same arrangement...problem is I'm a better cook than she is a cleaner!

(Gotta go; think I hear her coming down the stairs!!)

From: HA/KS
10-Jan-19
The truth is that good marriages that last have mutual agreement that include respect for all roles of both. Every couple has their unique set of understandings that works for them.

10-Jan-19
Life’s too short to be bothered by the small stuff.

But even when my patient runs short w my kids or wife, I’ll Meditate and think about people that have it far worse.

Children are chronically ill, parents are cheating and hitting each other, on drugs or alcoholics.

In the greater scheme of things, we have it pretty good.

Even I have to remind myself of this.

Good luck.

From: Rob Nye
10-Jan-19
Women: nice brains, wrong planet.

From: TD
10-Jan-19

TD's embedded Photo
TD's embedded Photo

From: Keith
10-Jan-19
She puts the caps or covers on bottles but doesn't tighten them.

We'll be sitting, reading or watching tv, she will wait hours for me to get up and then say, "While your up, get me a cup of coffee."

From: Owl
10-Jan-19
TD, everyone knows you don't have to vent the pour if you open the lid enough...:)

From: HA/KS
10-Jan-19

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

10-Jan-19
LOL Henry!! At great risk to myself, I’m sending that one to my wife.

From: HA/KS
10-Jan-19

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo
Yes, they rule the world.

From: Zbone
10-Jan-19
orionsbrother - That's freakn funny...8^)))

From: HA/KS
12-Jan-19

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

From: spike78
12-Jan-19
We had two containers of creamer in the fridge and I placed the one to expire soonest in the front of the newer creamer. Guess which one she grabs? Now explain why the hell you would grab the one directly behind it?!!

From: HA/KS
12-Jan-19
spike, all good shoppers know to grab the one in back instead of the one on the front of the shelf - that way you get fresher product.

12-Jan-19
Shhhhhh... I have a Sharpie.

I’ll try to post a pic in the morning.

... assuming that I survive.

From: Tjw
12-Jan-19
I offered to get a maid service a couple days a week.. Wow major mistake... she started crying saying i thought she was a bad house keeper.. in her defense She puts up with me, and never complains about my hobbies infact she supports me 1000 percent. Married 25 years and can't imagine life with out her.

18-Jan-19
My buddy's wife had gone into a soliloquy about how men need to just listen... women need to be heard. Women don't want men trying to "fix everything" all of the time. Men just need to listen and understand.

Not five minutes later, she shared with my buddy that the driver's side tail light was out on the truck. I smiled and told him to remember, "You're just supposed to listen and understand. That's what women want. They don't want you to fix everything."

Just last night, I had stopped by their place and she was commenting on how they need a new front door. He assured her that it was on the list. I reminded them both that he simply needed to listen and understand, not fix things.

I run directly into the cannon fire for you my brothers!!!

But I chickened out of the sharpie thing. Easy to talk big...

From: Will
18-Jan-19
I'm blessed and married a literal super hero. How many of you, at any point in your life, have been able to do multiple sets of over 20 FULL BODY WEIGHT pullups? My wife could do that AFTER doing a 5K meters swim workout. At 115#, she's just a rock star. Great mom, my best friend. A better shot than me - just ask her :). Awesome.

That said, when you are stressed out, you have less emotional durability for other things that cause stress. So it makes sense that that big list or similar things tick you off. I get frustrated when I see that the TP roll (new) is sitting on the old one vs having been changed. C'mon! But when life is rolling, it makes me laugh, when I'm backed up, it gets me annoyed.

From: HA/KS
18-Jan-19

HA/KS's embedded Photo
HA/KS's embedded Photo

19-Jan-19
Rick, I get it. I most certainly do.

My thing is I carry in groceries, she is supposed to put them up. Never fails, she always misses a bag I have to do.

She won’t put bottled water in the fridge. Says she likes it better room temperature. Until she wants cold water. Then she gets it out of the fridge. Never to replace them. When she packs lunch, she gets them out of the fridge to keep her cooler food chilled. Etc.... but, she doesn’t use refrigerated water. Sure.

She’s the best thing to happen to me. I love her. These things irritate me though.

19-Jan-19
Your wife has exalted status in our household Justin.

And I love my wife.

I posted a semi-humorous list of quirks as opposed to crabbing about them.

The juice box pic cracked me up. I love retrieving a box of juice from the fridge to find that it contains less than a quarter ounce of juice. I suppose that’s just in case we have a hummingbird drop by.

I’m glad that our wives have no list of our odd quirks.

And my wife, after having read this thread, won’t be making a list either. She’s too focused on the fact that Henry said he married better than me.

The traveling sisterhood of the green fried magnolias is coming for him.

From: HA/KS
19-Jan-19
The truth is that all of us married better than we deserved. Each of us and our wives are unique. The woman that is perfect for you would probably make me miserable and vice versa.

No person and thus no marriage is perfect, but we are certainly better off with our spouses than we would be without them.

From: Woods Walker
19-Jan-19
Marriage is like owning a business. It takes total commitment, self sacrifice and you have to WORK at it continually. When it's not going well there's nothing worse, but when it's going right there's NOTHING on earth better!

19-Jan-19
You are a good man Henry. I’m just goofing around in the spirit of fun. My wife and her sisters are not coming for you.

I work very hard to be the person that I aspire to be. When I am tired or stressed, things are not going smoothly, I think of the story of the Navy Seals singing in the mud or of other people who have overcome greater adversity than I and utilized greater panache.

I look to demand better of myself and often turn to humor. I don’t meditate. I think people are inclined to be better when laughing and positive.

The computer does not convey intonation very well, Henry. I hope that any time you see one of my posts, you assume that I am striving for light hearted humor. If I am inclined to express anything else, I will be very clear in my intent.

I value your even keeled opinions.

When I get home from work, I’m going to let my wife know that you said that you’d be miserable if you were married to her.

^^^^^^ Humor ^^^^^^

From: HA/KS
19-Jan-19
I didn't misread what you posted. If we spent any time together you would know that.

My wife (after almost 45 years) still struggles to know when I am serious and when I am pulling somebody's leg or chain.

19-Jan-19
Good.

Thank you.

From: Amoebus
19-Jan-19
I figured out orion's posts after 3-4 of them (slow learner), but still am not sure of the 2 folks who were complaining about labels being backwards in the fridge... kidding or OCD?

From: tonyo6302
19-Jan-19
HAR ! Love this thread!

.. .. . . .

.. . . ..

My sweet Wife has three quirks;

1. She, too, cannot change a roll of toilet paper. I come home from work, there is a fresh roll on the floor, and an empty cardboard on the holder. LOL !

2. My sweet Wife cannot walk the 10 feet across the garage to the recycle bin. I come home from work, and there is a litany of bottles and cans on the garage stoop, 10 feet from the recycle bin. She made it out of the kitchen with the recyclables, but does not have the ability to finish that last 10 feet. HAR !!! LOL !!!

3. My sweet Wife looses the ability to drive from 5 PM on Friday, until I go back to work on Monday. I can be knee deep in an oil change or yard work on the weekend, and she some outside and says, "Drive me to the grocery." The Grocery store is 2 miles away. TWO MILES for goodness sake, - but I have to drop what I am doing, and drive her.

But, in all honesty, I probably am a sub standard husband. Below is an email chain from a few years back when I was hunting Northern Virginia year round on kill permits, and was always out bowhunting;

-----Original Message----- From: Sly

Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 4:59 PM

To: Oliver Tony

Subject: RE: Forgot Cell Phone

Talk about pissed... You need to hook her up with rent a hubby to get that stuff fixed or call the plumber.........and the garage door man

-----Original Message----- From: Tony Oliver Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 9:59 AM

To: sly Subject: FW: Forgot Cell Phone

Mama ain't happy today !

-----Original Message----- From: Wife Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 7:05 AM

To: Oliver Tony

Subject: RE: Forgot Cell Phone

I already had it in my phone.

The light was still ON in the garage door thing this morning-- did not shut off. Please call the garage door company this morning.

Also, the hot water faucet in "my" sink would not work this morning-- I turned it and NO water came out-- the cold one works. That now makes BOTH hot water faucets in both sinks that are broke. Too bad your Bow and Arrow couldn't fix all the stuff that's breaking in the house!!

-----Original Message----- From: Tony Oliver Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 6:21

To: Wife

Subject: Forgot Cell Phone

Work Number is 703-xxx-xxx, and you should add this to your phone right now.

Love ya

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