Crossbow Story
General Topic
Contributors to this thread:
DL 11-Jan-18
t-roy 11-Jan-18
APauls 11-Jan-18
Rick M 11-Jan-18
MambaHNTR 12-Jan-18
Treeline 12-Jan-18
Griz 12-Jan-18
painless 12-Jan-18
BOX CALL 12-Jan-18
Rut Nut 12-Jan-18
DL 12-Jan-18
drycreek 12-Jan-18
Ironbow 12-Jan-18
lawdy 12-Jan-18
stick n string 12-Jan-18
Inshart 12-Jan-18
DL 12-Jan-18
Ironbow 12-Jan-18
tundrajumper 14-Jan-18
From: DL
Try not to laugh.

Be careful what you give your kids..... This story had me in tears....Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little ****** compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles). At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck...OH ****! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a *** look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can. Oh ****. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE. There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-***** got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. ****IT CEASE FIRE!!!!! His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires. I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know – I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring Him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom. One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

~Author Unknown.

Loved it. Had some experiments with M80s back in the day. Honka trucks were really well built back then.

From: t-roy
If yer gonna be stupid, ya better be tuff! Like, probably a bunch of guys on here, it’s a wonder I ain’t dead!

From: APauls
LMAO!! Loved it

From: Rick M
Ha, it took me 48 years to finally light myself on fire this past spring. Should have happened a dozen times before. Hope my kids are smarter than me!!! I know I keep a closer eye on them than my parents kept on me!

From: MambaHNTR
I'm laughing so hard i'm crying!

From: Treeline
I know that kid!

I was laughing so hard and crying that I had to stop several times and recompose to get thru it!

From: Griz
First arrow I ever shot at around age 6 had a black powder filled .38 casing jammed on the end of it. My country cousin would make up a pile for when I visited and we would shoot them at a rock in the back of the yard. After we blew them all up we'd cut off the shattered ends and do it again. It stopped when he shot one so perfect, the shaft came directly back (nock end first) and missed his face by an inch or so. At that point we got the .22 out!!

From: painless
Thanks this made my morning. I have a friend who got his 2 young sons bows for Christmas. He gave them the regular safety talk and stated "especially, never ever shot straight up into the air". Their reply, "OK dad". They went outside to shot and about 15 minutes later he had to run to town. Backing out of the carport he noticed an arrow stuck straight up in the roof.

Sounds like a hold my beer and watch this deals.

From: Rut Nut
LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Where in the world did you find that, DL???

From: DL
Face Book.

From: drycreek
painless, my first bow was a kid sized hickory longbow. I was fond of shooting straight up in the air too. I would watch it all the way up, (it would almost go out of sight, but not quite), see it turn and watch it all the way down. The last time I ever shot straight up it came down and stuck in the ground about 20 feet from my Dad. I got "the look", and shooting straight up didn't interest me much any more !

From: Ironbow
Since it has been 38 years now, I will share this one.

When I was 19 I got hold of some M80s. The real ones that had a tremendous boom. I taped two of them to the end of a cedar arrow with the fuses crossing. Stuck my Browning Stalker compound behind the seat and went to town. Friend of mine agreed to light the fuse for me. We parked 2 blocks from a Hardees that had several hundred high school kids hanging out on a Saturday night. We could just see the crowd from where we were. I came to full draw, and he lit the crossed fuses. I shot at what I thought would be an appropriate angle to have a couple of nice booms go off high above the Hardees.

We watched the sparks from the fuses rise higher and higher. About the time I thought they should go off, the arrow peaked it's height and started dropping. Right toward the crowd. The pucker factor started to get a bit tight. By this time my friend had run back to my truck and was yelling at me to get in the truck and get out of there. I was fixated wanting to see what was going to happen.

The sparks continued to drop lower and lower, right toward the crowd. The pucker factor was at an all time high. I was terrified it was going to land on top of someone. About 15-20 ft above the crowd I see two white flashes, followed by two successive booms with a lot of screaming and people running everywhere. By this point I am running for my truck as fast as I could, slamming the bow behind the seat and getting out of there. Things did not go as planned!

We drove a few blocks away, then carefully made our way toward the scene of the crime. We parked a couple of blocks away from the now dispersing crowd and 6 police cars that had arrived. My brother saw my truck and came over to talk to me. He had been on the edge of the crowd. First thing he said when he saw me, "Do you have your bow with you?"

I told him I would tell the folks every secret thing he had done if he ever breathed a word about it. Fortunately I had enough on him he kept his mouth shut. Reports were all over town about the explosions and what it was and wondering what had happened. Apparently the cedar arrow must have blown to smithereens because no one ever figured it out.

Until now.

From: lawdy
My first weapon was a slingshot followed a BB gun I got by selling Cloverine salve. The first day I got it, I put out a barn window. My father put it on a chopping block and cut it in half. That was followed by wood longbows for my brother and me because, as he told my mother, " the little bastards can't get into much trouble with those." Boy, was he wrong. He wasn't much better though, because he was talking to one of the fathers at our one room school, and was showing him the new Kodiak he bought. He told the guy to" watch the speed of this thing" and whipped an arrow at the tetherball. Hit it dead center. He was real quiet that evening and we promised not to tell Ma. We were proud because made a good shot on that tetherball. It was a long ways.

DL is the book face king!!!!

From: Inshart
OMG Ironbow - I laughed out loud - now that was funny know matter who you are!!!!

Yup, old enough to know better but to stupid to consider the consequences. Out in my back yard one sunny Sunday afternoon - shooting by bow - 78#, shooting xx75's. Well lets just see how far up this will go.........

I guestimated the wind direction and allowed a bit then let er rip. Of course it went almost out of sight and I watched in horror as it dropped. My neighbor was out mowing his yard on his rider and it landed about 6 feet behind him. I hurried over, retrieved it without him ever knowing anything about it.

From: DL
I had bumped a flock of turkeys on my property. They all were up in these huge oaks. I snuck right under one and shot at it straight up. Nailed the turkey and then happen to think where’d the arrow go. My question was soon answered when the arrow lands in the rocks a few feet from me.

From: Ironbow

Now I am laughing out loud!

From: tundrajumper
When I was in my young teens, we would fish for carp in the river. When one was caught, I can't remember what fire cracker it was, but one was lit and put up his butt and released. Soon a bunch of bubbles would come up in the middle of the river.

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