GUIDED HUNTERS - single or married?
Whitetail Deer
Folks who are taking guided hunts, I often wonder if there is a spouse in the equation?
Do you have to convince your spouse? Though I've never seriously considered it, I think that I would have a hard time convincing my wife after being away every weekend for 2 1/2 months to my property that I was also spending one week away at a cost of $_____.
Do you own your own property to hunt? Or is the guided hunt your "once a year" event?
Oh and if you're wealthy (Lets say above $300k per year)... If I had those means, I could send my wife on a trip to the spa to soften the blow of the bill from my hunt.
Just curious - thanks for sharing.
My wife of 47 years allows me to hunt guided trips when I want. Last few years elk, prior, brown bear, moose and three African safaris. And she agreed to buy land, though it’s as much of an investment as hunting land. Having said that, we worked our ass off for about 40 years, saved, invested wisely, lived well below our means. Now we are financially set, and enjoying life in retirement.
Dale you sound like what I hope I will be saying not to far down the road. My goal has always been 50 or six years from now. Closer I get not sure being full retired is what I want or not. I just want to stay busy but be able to hunt when I want to hunt for ever how long I want to hunt. I fill more and more comfortable I have the financially set part down asuming no major hurdles. It is just figuring how to enjoy the time and not be bored when in town.
I’ve guided quite a few whitetail hunters and I can only think of two that probably lived by a budget. One was a school teacher the other was retired military. Those were also some of the best tippers I’ve had. The teacher saved and went on a hunt every 3-5 years.
I've been on about 6 guided hunts by myself, the spouse maybe 3 , alone as well. Don't do guided anymore. We both love to hunt though.
I never understood the “bored” while retired concept...
I’m 43 now, maybe that will change but man, I sure can think of a lot of different things to do/try if I don’t have to work 10hrs or so a day...
Work is just not a form of entertainment for me I guess
I hunt out of state (some guided some not) 6-12 weeks a year. I own some land, and I have permission to hunt some other land, and I lease some land to hunt. I wouldn’t have my life any other way. I am not officially married, but not much difference after 11 years. We don’t have any kids (huge piece of the equation). I do what I want and she is happy when I’m happy. She has a lot of what she wants too.
I don’t make $300k, but spend more hunting than many people make in a year. I’m quite fortunate, and quite selfish. Now as far as retirement, I do work my butt off, but may never “retire”. I believe in doing stuff now while I can, and working later in life. Who knows, today may be the last day of my life...live it while I can!
—Jim
My wife goes hunting with me. Costs more but she likes it
My wife stated that guided hunts are better for her because she knows when I'm leaving and when I'll be home. I am trying to get in one guided hunt every other year. She isn't a fan of me trying to hunt every weekend around home, because I take to long to get a deer (which is because I'm a terrible hunter). She also reminded me that she doesn't "let" me hunt. It's something that I love to do and we both do things that we like. It's always a compromise. I don't own hunting land (unfortunately), but I have 100,000 acres close that has good hunting. I do a very good job of ensuring that I get to do some hunting every year while also making time for my wife and kids, who don't hunt (again... unfortunately).
Over time it shifts
at the start they may not want you to go
in the middle they don't mind if you go
later on they don't know you are gone or if you ever even went
Bou'bound I laughed way to hard at that response
I thought this was going to be related to the phone thread...
Well, I've never had any desire to do guided hunts. I wouldn't get any satisfaction from them.
But, if I did, it would likely cause problems with my wife. She doesn't hunt, and she wouldn't be into tit-for-tat vacations for herself. She likes traveling with me, even after 30 years of marriage. She's always been very supportive of my DIY hunts. But, if I started spending thousands of $$ every year on guided hunts, it would definitely be a problem between us.
Our month long vacations to Florida every year have proven to be a perfect compromise for us. She hangs out on the beach, or goes shopping, while I fish. Win win.
Matt
Bou is correct. After 44 years of marriage my wife gladly helps me pack:)
PS: Only 1.6% of my total hunting days afield were with guides. 98.4% I DIWF. (Do it with friends)
I’ve been married 27 years, and absolutely never had a problem. I wouldn’t still be married if there was a problem!
Married. I haven't done many guided trips, but I foresee that changing slowly in the future (or I hope so)
The only time she begrudges me money or time is when she's in a bad mood :) Otherwise she's happy I'm happy :)
35-Acre
I going hunting issues resolved before I got married. Never had any problems.
A man once told me, "the best way to avoid a misunderstanding, is to first have an understanding". I found that to be good advice.
I will say this, if you will take your wife on a nice vacation every year, you will have much more peaceful hunting experiences.
I like DIY but do go on guided hunts. My wife doesn't hunt. We've also worked hard all our lives. Most of my money is spent on hunting or fishing. She knows it makes me happy and it's my only real hobby. I also don't make $300k but I'm debt free. I don't have to have the latest and greatest everything.
My wife likes to be home working on the yard, projects, hiking, skiing, swimming, etc. We also go on birdhunting expeditions together.
I go on guided hunts out of province as required by the game laws without her. The only constraints I heard from her was relating to Polar bear$$$$$...she said you better get one the first time!
DIY big game bowhunting is my preference though if possible.
If you have to beg, you married the wrong person and you will be miserable the rest of your life (unless you convert to weekend warrior duck hunting). I have a friend who finally set his foot down and started hunting again. The new wife threw a fit, then demanded he take her. Best decision he ever made. After one hour of deer hunting she made fun of him and told him he was stupid for sitting in tall grass all day while it was cold. She drove herself and hour home and gave him full permission to hunt the rest of the day with me, and the next. I have been on quite a few guided hunts and DIY hunts with spouse/significant other and they seem to work out. When I was a guide, I noticed the really wealthy guys sent their spouses to the city while they hunted, and they never stayed around long because they were eager to get back to the wife.
DIY or guided, my wife always goes along. Usually as a bow hunter, but sometimes just to be there. On two Canadian fly in hunts to remote cabin camps, one where she hunted and one as a non-hunter, we got our own "honeymoon" cabin. Everyone else was 4 to a cabin. We thought that was pretty funny each time. Usually she's the only female in camp, and expects to be treated like any other hunter, and always pulls her own weight. More actually since she's only 5' and 100 lbs. On one drop camp in AK it was me, my wife, and my girlfriend. Well, our friend that happened to be a woman and a bowhunter.
Never a problem. That being said if I was booking a Desert Sheep hunt every year I’m sure that might create problems.
" wants to know when I'm leaving and when I'm getting back"..........won't speculate on that one..... :)
I only went on two guided hunts when I was married, both caribou where a "guide" was required, but would never have been an issue if I wanted to do more because I was the breadwinner.
But like GG, guided hunts were never my thing. It was never a problem for me to hunt on my own for 60 days a year, always away from home, because she knew it was my passion. But I know guys who allow their wives severely limit their hunting time. "Allow" being the operative here. Life is too short for that, IMO.
The only thing that has changed with new wife is she wants to come along to my archery camps, and I have to be her guide for her rifle hunts. I can live with that tradeoff.
My wife has never “allowed” me to do anything, as I have not “allowed” her to either. If we want to do something we simply say we’re gonna do it and that’s it. I can always depend on her to spend less money than I do, but I worked 6 and 7 days a week all my life to get where I am, and I ain’t planning a Brinks truck in my funeral procession.
My thoughts exactly drycreek!
"My wife has never “allowed” me to do anything, as I have not “allowed” her to either."
Well said. And I have never understood the guys who buy a hunt or gear and hope their wife doesn't find out. To me that is a lie of ommision.
I'm at that point in my life where between my family and career I have more money than time...and also enjoy Canada. In recent years I have tended to do more in the way of guided hunts.
I also don't like to do dishes while on vacation.
When I retire in a couple years....or a few months....and have more time, that will probably change.
I went on guided hunts whenever I wanted to before I got Married and the same is true since getting Married. She supports me and I support her in anything either of us wants to do. My stepmother asked her right after we were married why she allowed me to go hunting so much and if it bothered her. Her response was he was hunting all the time when I met him and he enjoys it so he should be able to go as much as he wants to whenever he wants too.
I think it was WapitiBob who once said...."it all starts at the interview."
Singe (Divorced for 21 years) & did some guided where required by law. Caribou twice, Bear 7 times. I have done MANY DIY 7 & 10 day bowhunts though (15 states). Now married nearly 22 years I like to get away in off season for Hogs & get out of the snow & cold. She never says a word & usually, I try to arrange for her to visit relatives in Florida the same time. It's a 2 way street & no problems in this house... She has gone a few times with G-Friends & family & that's OK with me. She went to the NFAA 5 day field NAtionals in 2015 with me just to take photos of all the archers (she is a photographer)
Been on 4 guided hunts with my wife and 1 alone, when she sent me on one for my 40th birthday
Have done a few guided trips. I have always paid for them by doing extra work that I would not normally do.My whole regular paycheck goes into the household account and extra work money goes into the hunting account. I occasionally take hunting money to do something nice for her. It has worked well fo 36 years from when we were so poor we could not pay attention to relative prosperity. It just takes "you spent money on a hunting trip when we needed a new couch" out of the equation.
A lot of great advice. As a household of two teachers, we are not starting fires with $100 bills. lol. What works for us is that any money made outside of our contract is "your" money for whatever you want. I work 50-60 hours all summer for an electrician and that money goes to the hunting/fishing/trapping fund. My wife works a little in the summer for her fun money. It has worked for us for 14 years. Now, when it comes to hunting gear for deer at home, that comes out of the general fund because we both deer hunt and enjoy spending the time together in the woods.
I changed my priorities since my kids moved out. Fished alot of tourneys that didnt require alot of time from home except weekends. Now i have the huntin itch again which is gettin pricey and addicting. Elk hunting is in my blood bad. Went on my first guided trip this year with Forest and Charlie. Will try and go every other year with guide, DIY for all others. Wife dont mind as long as the paychecks keep comin in. They wont be burying me with my money.
Married for 27 years and together for 34. Hunting and fishing were my passions when we met and that set the standard from day one. Our “agreement” is that we take one “big” (Hawaii, Mexico, USVI, Alaskan cruise, type stuff) each year- then one closer to home as “us” vacations.
I get 6 weeks PTO and spend a week in Ohio, then randomly use my other days for steelhead fishing and around home hunting. I buy whatever new “toy” I want, but do let her know what I’m looking at and how much it will be.
I’ve been on a couple guided hunts when our kids were young and decided that the timing wasn’t good with 3 little ones at home. I am planning an elk/mule deer combo, but it will be with mutual friends from Idaho we met on our cruise, so she will go and I get to count it as “our” vacation??. Communication is the key to longevity in a partnership!
My good wife and I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Works very well.
I try to do at least one big out of state/country hunt each year, plus most of November for whitetails at home, as well as a few shorter hunts in neighboring states with friends. Like Matt alluded to, I’ve got more money than time. I’m self employed (1 man show and in a service oriented business) so I’m limited in the amount of time I can take off. Done lots of DIY hunts over the years, plus quite a few guided ones as well. My wife rarely has any problems with any of the hunts that I do (other than my grizzly hunt scheduled for this coming spring), mostly because she knows bowhunting is my passion, plus, to a lesser extent, she knows it won’t do much good to complain about it anyway. I’m the sole breadwinner and she knows I work my a$$ off 10 months out of the year. She gets pretty well taken care of, too! I’m planning for retirement, but not planning on it anytime soon. I enjoy my job. I’ll be 60 in a couple months, and can easily see myself working into my 70s (God willing) maybe just not a full slate by then. We also try and do some “her thing” oriented trips each year as well. Fortunately for me, she LOVES to turkey hunt and fish, so some of those trips include those activities, and she’s always first up to bat.
I own a decent amount farm/hunting ground where I live.
Did it once in Ky my wife and I hunted Mt in the 80s and early 90s all unguided but a friend of mine BigDan helped in picking some spots hunted the Kaibab and Idaho plus Florida Ms S.C.and Mo. and Illinois and was headed to Az with BigDan for elk and would have been the first time we ever had the chance to hunt together my knee surgery slammed that and then the next year he passed good luck all and go for it Lewis
If you are taking care of your house and family properly and you have to ask to go hunting you made a mistake. A woman who won’t let her man enjoy his passion is selfish and not really in love. If I say I’m going hunted guided, diy... whatever, the only words I hear are good luck honey. Oh and be safe.
I never understood a man that allowed a women to control him. Yes, God and family first. It goes without saying. But, any woman who is so selfish she’d make her husband feel guilty over his passion is not a very good person. She’s a spoiled princess.
After 25 years this time, I think things are pretty great. Only guided I’ve done was Africa on her 50th birthday. We did 7 days in the bush and 4 days in Jburg. She still talks about how much she loved that trip.
I still ask pretty much every time I go hunting if she cares. More out of respect than permission. I sometimes have a tendency to forget things that “we” had planned during hunting season.
Let’s face it, she’d rather me be in the woods or camp than hanging out in the bars.
Been with the same girl for close to 40 yrs. She has never once complained about my hunting. I have gone on a few guided hunts but they are not for me. The last 10 years I have been doing DIY hunts and am gone from home 3 weeks every year. I also hunt 60 plus days from Oct to Jan. No complaints from her, she even helps on occasion!! Shawn
T-Roy: Will you be hiring a driver any time soon? I could use some part time work and have a great driving record.
I had a friend that warned of a wife who encouraged you to go hunting and stay a few extra days!
Are you free in Novembers, Charlie??! ;-)
Offer for her to come along. My wife will come on every 3rd or 4th trip I do. Just make sure to give her some time during the hunt. I don't fish much but she loves to fish so I take her fishing or make a detour on the way to see some nice sights.
Not really she is just a good girl, no interest in hunting but hangs stands with me, cuts and wraps game and she loves to fish. We spend a lot of time together and a lot of years she comes along on my hunts. Shawn
My wife would not go on a guided hunt with me. Don't know if I would ever do a guided hunt though. I'd rather DIY, and she wouldn't go on a DIY with me either. She would be more into going on a warm place winter trip with family or a friend than go on a hunt with me.
Way too many cute ,trainable puppies in the world to put up with a dog that won't listen...
... and there you have it. Puppies & Dogs. I do what I want, but still "ask" permission just to smooth out the process.
Elk hunting is my biggest hurdle. Wife's birthday is September 5 & our anniversary is September 15. Usually gone for one or both, but it all works out in the long run.
This might change her mind! Lol
... as far as guided, been to Africa twice, three Canada bear hunts, multiple turkey hunts, one elk hunt & one pronghorn hunt. Several DIY Elk hunts.
Never got married until I had hunted every animal that I wanted to try for at least once. Of course, I was 55 years old by then, but it still worked out well.....hell, we went to Cabelas for our honeymoon (HER idea).....LOL!! For the most part, when I was younger, I always found DIY hunts to be less restrictive/ more satisfying. However, I live in the east (as does all of my/her family), I found that I could get in at least one extra hunt every year if I wasn't always driving....so guided hunts served me very well in that regard....and as I have gotten older, I enjoy sharing a camp more than I used to..... I should also mention that many of the animals that I wanted to hunt, required a guide for non-residents, so in those cases, DIY was not even an option.
... oh, forgot a guided Mule Deer hunt. I do most of my Whitetail hunting in Tennessee on my buddies farm, 30 minute drive from home. However, my wife always asks "why" as I have killed three P&Y whitetail & one B&C here on our farm where we live. She doesn't understand that deer density is low here in the semi-suburban area we live in and that hunting in more rural farm country is a better experience.
For most of these responses above I’d love to know if kids are part of the equation.
APauls....I have one son, who is 38. I put him through college. The majority of all my out of state/country hunts (other than 7-8 DIY elk hunts in the late 80s & early 90s) have been in the last 20 years or so. Back then, I never had the disposable funds available, to be able afford the trips that I am able to do now. Unfortunately, my son has never shared my passion for the outdoors, other than some fishing. Not sure if that’s what you’re alluding to.
We have one daughter. Her timing was good (born at the onset of a recession) so the early funding of a 529 plan has paid off in spades. Having a strong and independent wife helps as well.
100% kids are part of the equation. We do at least one and some years two family trips. My kids are late teens to 20. I will miss the days of traveling with just my wife and children. Once they are finished with their educations my hunting trips will gain a few hunters and I can't wait for those days.
Have gone on a guided hunt every few years or so. As long as i prioritize time with the family and do trips with them its been good
I dont think its an issue unless you're telling your spouse they or the family cant go on a vacation because you spent all the money and timeoff on yourself for a hunt. We travel together to places my wife wants to go for vacation in addition to the time I/we spend hunting together each year. We're both happy. The only issues we have is when Im gone too long.
I dont think "guided" really matters as doing a selfguided trip to Alaska or Montana can still cost quite a few dollars all in for a nonresident. If all the budget is spent on yourself for hunting, tags, gear, gas, etc with none leftover for the family, its going to cause a problem.
I have done a few guided hunts and I enjoyed them but I prefer to do DIY hunts. I had the expendable income to do more guided hunts but my wife built a house. :) Now I'm happy just hunting around home and doing 1-2 DIY trips a year and spending our extra money on family trips.
I got married later than average, I was 32. I have three boys all born in winter so will be, 23, 21 and 15 soon. The 15 year old was a last ditch effort for my wife to have a daughter. I failed miserably again, LOL. Must be loaded with "Y"s. Anyways, yes, the boys factored into my hunting. Two of my boys, the youngest and oldest, love to waterfowl hunt, so I reluctantly do that to spend time with them. The youngest and I killed a pile of ducks and geese this year. We've been pouring money into son #1 and #2s college. Definitely hurts and puts a damper on hunts and hunting "stuff". My middle boy likes bowhunting, but hasn't been able to go much due to college. We will see once he's done how important it is in his life. Overall, I'm a very content human being. I have a bucket list, but honestly, it wouldn't hurt that bad if all I ever did the rest of my life is hunt whitetails and do an occasional other hunt.
My wife and I had 3 kids by the time she was 22, I hunted a lot back than as well. I did not do many out of state hunts when the kids were young but I still hunted almost every day of deer season. I worked nights so I had all day until 2 pm to hunt. As I said she never really complained too much. Her only complaint is that all i talk about is hunting to her and she gets tired of the stories!! Shawn
Forgot the "and if married, how many times....."
Naw, married once..... long time. Long, long time....
I hunt a good number of days a year, likely more than most. Like to do a two week hunt (likely elk) every year. Which for me money wise is pretty close to what a guided hunt would be for someone on the mainland, think "Hawaii vacation" only in reverse. And squeeze in a week trip or two local "big" hunts by plane or boat. And at least one day a week through the rest of the year. So I get, or normally get, my fair share of hunting in.
Only guided hunt I've done was a bear hunt in Canada. Good thing I brought a dead animal home, when I got back Coach had lawyers on speed dial. She got it in her head somehow I was running around the country partying with strippers or something. Don't know how she got that idea. Not that it's that bad a one mind you..... but strippers are notoriously bad at packing, skinny, bad attitudes, so not ideal to hunt with......
Still married. So far. If you go.... helps to bring something dead home. That or pictures. Lots of em.... notarized.....
"just a gigolo, and everywhere I go....."
TD for the win! That was hysterical!
My late wife often took short term jobs to help pay for some of my early trips. After she learned how to shoot her bow and drew blood a few times, she would go by herself. About 20 years ago, she went to Alaska without me and tagged a nice black bear (18 10/16"). A few years back, she won the combo Moose/Grizzly hunt raffled by the Pope & Young club. Wish she was here to go again!
Been married 4 years. In that time have hunted BC, Alaska and Africa. My wife isn't much for hunting but she did decide she wanted to shoot a kudu in Africa. We just had our first child this week so it will impact my hunts for a few years but do have trips planned for Wyoming DIY and New zealand in 2022. She know how much hunting means to me and how it is a big part of my life. We also will go on a nice vacation of her choice each year
No t-roy, for the guys that tell their wives where to sit I’m wondering if they leave them with a gaggle of kids when they tell their wives that they are leaving.
Prior to getting married, I did 1 semi-guided hunt and 2 guided hunts in Illinois. Then 2yrs after getting married, did 1 guided bear hunt in New Brunswick. After that, we've had 2 kids, my son a preteen and our daughter not far behind.
I would like to do a guided hunt again or even a drop-camp for elk, but the cost just isn't an option for the time being. I'm happy doing DIY elk hunts every other year and hunting around home. For us, our yearly family vacation to the beach and a long weekend vacation somewhere new is important. But I'll tell ya...... if it wasn't for having kids, there would be a lot more disposable income!
You know what they say... The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.
This has not been a problem at my house. My wife and I have been married almost 45 years. She know I was a hunter when we married. Guided trips were out of the question in my earlier years. My wife did hunt with me when we first married but then children put a stop to that. Fast forward......kids out of college and on their own. Finally I could afford guided hunts. She only occasionally hunts with me now and does not complain when I go. We do take some nice non hunting trips together. After her first salmon fishing trip to AK she was hooked. She wants to go salmon fishing every year. If she wants to go on a nice trip with friends I never complain either. She and a group of her girlfriends were supposed to go to Germany for the Christmas season this year but Covid killed that trip. They have rescheduled for next year and I am headed back to AK for moose and caribou.
