Humor break, anyone?
General Topic
Contributors to this thread:
DanaC 14-Jan-22
Bou'bound 14-Jan-22
tobywon 14-Jan-22
2Wild Bill 14-Jan-22
JL 14-Jan-22
Casekiska 14-Jan-22
LINK 14-Jan-22
Old School 14-Jan-22
Boreal 14-Jan-22
trublucolo 14-Jan-22
smarba 14-Jan-22
Bou'bound 14-Jan-22
Medicinemann 14-Jan-22
tobywon 14-Jan-22
Inshart 14-Jan-22
t-roy 14-Jan-22
jl223 14-Jan-22
DanaC 14-Jan-22
deerhunter72 14-Jan-22
Woods Walker 15-Jan-22
deerhunter72 15-Jan-22
trublucolo 17-Jan-22
DanaC 17-Jan-22
smarba 17-Jan-22
JohnMC 17-Jan-22
Medicinemann 17-Jan-22
Woods Walker 17-Jan-22
Grey Ghost 17-Jan-22
Woods Walker 17-Jan-22
JohnMC 17-Jan-22
Basil 17-Jan-22
Woods Walker 17-Jan-22
From: DanaC
14-Jan-22

DanaC's Link
How NOT to shoot a deer ;-)

From: Bou'bound
14-Jan-22
Bring it on

From: tobywon
14-Jan-22
That was funny, thanks for sharing.

From: 2Wild Bill
14-Jan-22
Funny yes.

Some years back I watched two cops put three handgun rounds in a dying raccoon in the backyard behind mine, and knew instantly that neither one of them was a hunter.

From: JL
14-Jan-22
That was funny.

From: Casekiska
14-Jan-22
Supposedly a true story.....Our county sheriff's dept gets a call a deer has been hit by a car on an rural road and the deer is suffering,...needs to be put out of its misery. A new Deputy is dispatched to do so. He arrives at the scene and sees a small deer standing in the ditch looking like it had had better days. He draws his weapon and dispatches the deer with a single bullet between the eyes. Then the motorist who hit the deer points and says,..."Why'd you do that? The deer I hit is laying over here!"

From: LINK
14-Jan-22
Reminds me of when I was 16. I was out checking my trap line and came across some older girls I went to school with. They had just hit a buck with their car and brokerage bucks back. They were all like we have to do something. I got my 22 rifle out and put it to the deers head, got back in the truck and left. They were just like what the heck just happened.

From: Old School
14-Jan-22
Buddy of mine was driving out to bowhunt with me a few years back during the first week of November. As he’s driving out to our spot a spike chasing a doe runs across the road and directly into the side of his truck. Deer rolls into the ditch and is loudly bleating and squalling. Oncoming vehicle stops and a man and woman get out. They are both sipping on coffee and are shocked by the deers distress and loud bleating. The woman loudly exclaims “well do something for the poor deer.” My buddy gets his bow out of the back seat and sticks an arrow right behind the front shoulder. The woman shrieks “not that!!!” and runs back to the vehicle. Her husband shrugs his shoulders and helps my buddy throw the deer into the back of his truck.

We meet up for lunch at our parking spot and I see thislittle broke up spike in the back of his truck with a perfectly placed shot behind the front shoulder. We were only shooting “mounters” that week. I think to myself no way he shot that thing, maybe he hit it with his truck, but there’s not a scratch on his truck. About that time he walks up and says “did you see my hog there in the back?” And then proceeds to tell me the story.

From: Boreal
14-Jan-22
Buddy of mine is a state tropper. He's not an outdoorsman. The first call he got to dispatch an injured deer he wound shooting 7 times in the body. He said the driver of the car was yelling at him to shoot it in the head

From: trublucolo
14-Jan-22
Boreal, sounds like the don’t teach body anatomy and the difference between a kill shot and a crippling shot at the academy there lol.

From: smarba
14-Jan-22
Good stuff, we can use more humor on Bowsite these days. Keep it coming!

From: Bou'bound
14-Jan-22
He thought he was just tazing it but used his handgun instead

From: Medicinemann
14-Jan-22
An elderly couple is celebrating their 50th anniversary by going out to dinner. Since they are both in their 70's, they have hearing loss and talk rather loud. They are sitting at their table, and have just finished their meal. The old man says to his wife "Hey, you want to go back to that field where we had sex for the first time, and celebrate our 50th together?" His wife says "Sure, let's do it." Unbeknown to them, a younger couple sitting at an adjacent table, couldn't help but overhear this entire conversation. Since they are just finishing their meal as well, the young guy says to his girlfriend "Are you in the mood to watch some 70 year old porn?" The girlfriend laughs and say "Heck yeah, let's do it!" The younger couple waits for the older pair to leave, pays their bill, and then leaves. They discreetly follow the elderly couple that has driven way out in the boondocks. They watch as the old couple holds hands as they walk across this big field. When they get to the fence at the far edge of the field, grandma hikes up the back of her skirt, and grandpa gets behind her. As soon as they make contact, grandpa becomes a sex machine....and for thirty minutes, this younger couple is amazed as this elderly pair is rocking the world. Eventually, the old couple collapses on the ground. The young woman says "My God, I think they're dead!" The young guy says "No, I can see them breathing." After a few more minutes, the old man finally gets up, helps his wife to her feet, and they hold hands as they start to return to their vehicle. The young man, so impressed with the old guys virility, tells his girlfriend that he has GOT to learn the old man's secret. He gets out of the vehicle and proceeds to start walking across the field. As he approached the older couple, he asks the old man if he can speak to him in private. The old man leaves his wife, and walks over to the young man. The young man admits that he and his girlfriend had watched the entire encounter, and he wanted to know what the old man's secret was, for such endurance at his age. The old man looks down at the ground with an "Aw shucks" kind of look on his face, and says to the young man....."Fifty years ago, that fence wasn't electric."

From: tobywon
14-Jan-22
Hilarious Jake, I'm stealing that one!! Thanks for the laugh guys!!

From: Inshart
14-Jan-22
True Story:

Several years ago I was dispatched to a car deer accident - no injuries but the deer was still alive, laying in the ditch.

Upon arrival I met with a young couple (late teens, early 20's), driving an older van with hand painted strange pictures all over it. They both had gothic make up on - black around both eyes, black lipstick (real thick and over exaggerated), nose rings, eyelid rings, tongue piercing, etc., etc..

They said the person that hit the deer left and did not want it, could they have it. "Sure, I'll dispatch it and write you out a possession tag." She screamed that they wanted it alive so they could take care of it.

As I turned towards the ditch, I nicely advised them that wasn't going to happen and that I was not going to allow the deer to suffer any longer. The girl began to cry. I advised them if they didn't want to see what was going to happen they should look the other way and that I would help them load it in their van in a couple minutes.

They jumped in their van (she was still crying) and left.

From: t-roy
14-Jan-22
No prom invites after that, LINK??

From: jl223
14-Jan-22
Been in this situation a few times with banged up deer minus that many spectators, had a small spotted fawn once and figured I would just choke it out with my boot. Little S.O.B. kicked me in the chin so hard I had a tiny hoof print tattooed on me for a week.

From: DanaC
14-Jan-22

DanaC's embedded Photo
DanaC's embedded Photo

From: deerhunter72
14-Jan-22
Thanks for the laughs!

From: Woods Walker
15-Jan-22
An oldie........

3 guys are sitting in a bar having a few beers. They start talking about what their most painful experience in the world is.

The first guy was a carpenter, and he said, "For me, the most painful thing was hitting my thumb with the hammer the SECOND time!"

The second guy was a dentist, and he explained that, "The most painful thing in his opinion was drilling a cavity and hitting a nerve on someone who DIDN'T want to take Novocain! I've had them jump out of the chair!"

They all agreed that was pretty darn painful, and then the third guy, who was an old rancher, said this.....

"Well, I can for sure tell you what the SECOND most painful thing is. One time I was out riding fence, and the chili I had the night before was wanting to do a quick exit. I jumped off my horse and got my pants down just in time, but what I didn't know what that I'd squatted over a coyote trap. My plumbing hit the trap pan and it jumped up and clamped right on everything!"

The other guys winced and said, "WOW! That is unbelievable! But you said it was the second most painful thing. What could be more painful than that?!!?"

The old rancher took a swallow of beer, looked down at the table and said....."When I hit the end of that chain..."

From: deerhunter72
15-Jan-22
Thanks for the laughs!

From: trublucolo
17-Jan-22
"Thanking my Sponsors"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC0UCVzJAZs

From: DanaC
17-Jan-22

DanaC's embedded Photo
DanaC's embedded Photo
As some are shoveling out...

From: smarba
17-Jan-22
A guy drives into a small town and walks into a saloon. The locals appear to be hicks, but he wants a beer so sits at the bar and orders.

The locals on each side cast him sideways glances, finally one speaks up "what brings you to these parts?" He replies "I'm a taxidermist heading over for a show in the big city".

After a while the hick asks "what's a taxeedermist?"

The guy replies "well, I mount animals."

The local elbows his buddy and declares "well heck, he's one of us!!"

From: JohnMC
17-Jan-22
What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O’Shea

From: Medicinemann
17-Jan-22
What do you call Irish outdoor lawn furniture? Patty O'furniture. (patio furniture).

From: Woods Walker
17-Jan-22
Why does Irish chili have only 239 beans in it?

Because one more would make it "too fardy".

From: Grey Ghost
17-Jan-22
A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Father O'Grady after mass.

He says: "So what's bothering you?"

She replies: "Oh, Father, I've terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says: "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Did he have any last requests?"

"Certainly father," she replied. "He said: "Please Mary, put down that damn gun."

Matt

From: Woods Walker
17-Jan-22
https://youtu.be/T7IflFXJEwk Blonde Antelope

From: JohnMC
17-Jan-22
What did the Bra say to the Hat?

You go on a head. I'll give these two a lift.

From: Basil
17-Jan-22
In high school I was taking my girl on a date when we found a horribly busted up deer in the ditch. She was sobbing that I had to do something to help it. I told her I would move it somewhere more safe and comfortable. I moved it just out of sight where I pulled out my pocket knife & mercifully ended her suffering. I went back to the car & told her the deer was going to be just fine. The rest of the night went well.

From: Woods Walker
17-Jan-22
The girl I dated in college in that situation would have asked if it was still good to eat....and that's why we've been married for 46 years!

  • Sitka Gear