Terry
Good ones Lewis!
I opened my water and electric bills at the same time.....I was shocked!!
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
So they can get closer to the sink to wash the dishes.
samman's Link
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Corax_latrans's Link
2 - If gun control laws actually worked, Chicago would be Mayberry, USA.
3 - The Second Amendment makes more women equal than the entire feminist movement.
4 - Legal gun owners have 300 million guns and probably a trillion rounds of ammo. Seriously, folks, if we were the problem, you'd know it.
5 - When JFK was killed, nobody blamed the rifle.
6 - The NRA (National Rifle Association) murders 0 people and receives ($$$$ 0) nothing in government funds. Planned Parenthood kills 350,000 babies every year and receives $500,000,000 in tax dollars annually.
7 - I have no problem with vigorous background checks when it comes to firearms. While we're at it, let's do the same when it comes to immigration, Voter I.D., and candidates running for office. 8 - Folks keep talking about another Civil War. One side knows how to shoot and probably has a trillion rounds. The other side has crying closets and is confused about which bathroom to use. How do you think that would work out? 9 A man who left 300,000 guns for the Taliban is lecturing folks on gun control. Don’t be afraid to share this. There’s more logic and common sense expressed here than probably anything you have seen on the news today.
Scrappy's Link
Altitude Sickness 's Link
Washington - Today a group of activists met and formed a new coalition. The coalition, People for the Ethical Treatment of Earth's Rocks, or PETER for short , declared that it will campaign against cruel to "that unprotected minority, rocks and stones."
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A spokesperson for the group, Lotta Fumduckers, said, "We are serving notice, that inhumane treatment of these humble citizens of our planet will no longer be tolerated. "
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Ms. Fumduckers stated that the group will campaign against "rock oppression" on all levels. "Kids who skim stones across pond will he taught that the stones have an inherent right to be left to lie in peace on the shore. Nobody his a right to subject these innocent creatures to such violent displacement. Highway workers who routinely dynamite huge areas of rock will be taught sensitivity to Gaea the earth mother. The same goes for "rockhounds" and others who condone the senseless collection of our stone brothers and sisters."
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Ms. Fumduckers was especially concerned about gemologists and jewelers. "Jewelry makers, especially those who polish gems and stones for senseless human vanity and adornment, will be subjected to severe criticism. Nobody will be allowed to casually abuse these downtrodden citizens for mere pleasure," she said.
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"We are putting the entire De Beers group, and others of their ilk, on warning. Those who support these stone murderers, by flaunting the dead carcasses of gemstones on their fingers and around their necks, will be publicly shamed for their callous attitudes to our little friends."
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Ms. Fumduckers furthers stated that it would no longer be considered appropriate to refer to "pet rocks" as such. They should instead be referred to as "rock companions."
On the way, he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace. In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm."
The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him." So, the king continued his way.
However, in a short time, torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to execute the meteorologist.
Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So, the king hired the donkey.
And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.
And thus, the symbol of the Democrat Party was born.
The practice continues to this day.
Me neither
It hasn't come out yet.
Woods Walker's Link
