Went back to the hunter’s house at lunch time and thought…it’s time to get serious. Threw all my clothes in the washer and got out the scent free soap and poured some in. It was about 2:00 when I pulled up to my evening spot. Had some feed poured on the ground at this specific spot and I was going to be hunting out of my redneck bli…well actually out of my truck.
The weather forecast was calling for cold weather but with some light and variable winds. The cold was perfect for bringing them to the feed but the winds was going to hurt me. I wasn’t taking no chances so I jumped out of the truck and sprayed nose jammer all over my wheels and truck. Next I took out a bunch of those bottles of that golden estrus doe stuff made by blonde girl up there in Iowa. Poured all that over my truck as well and jumped back in. It was a good 200 yard drive to my spot so I took it slow and easy. As I pulled up I made sure the windows were rolled all the way up in my redneck bli…I mean my truck…so all my scent would be contained inside. I was parked about 8 yards or so from the feed. Got the Ozonics out mounted it to the my rear view mirror…this was going to be very important when I had to crack the window for a shot later. Just to make sure I went on ahead and poured some deer urine over me and misted the inside of the truck with some out of a spray bottle.
Took a moment to let things settle and then hit the horn a few times…this was a signal that the feed was here. Like I said earlier…old memories from Texas came drifting back. Memories from hitting that old remote button for the spinner feeder. It was a noise they knew that they was getting fed. Got a little nervous cause I bet it took 20 minutes or so but just over the rise popped out a whole herd.
Now I just knew how cold it was they was going to be hungry but I still couldn’t help myself as I seen them come in…Calhoun you are such a clever little person. Hold on cause they just stopped and they’re looking my way…surely not. I ease my hand up there to turn the ozonics on just to be sure. Now I tinted my windows black so I know they can’t see me but I still make sure my movements are extra slow.
Yep here they start forward again and heart skips a beat as I see Ole Red in amongst em. Try to control my breathing…not sure if it’s the excitement or the ozone in the air that I’ve started to inhale.
By this time I’m thinking it’s a done deal but nope for a second time they have stopped again just out of range and this time I can tell they are on high alert. They definitely have me pegged and now my breathing has definitely picked up. Frantically I turn the ozonics on high…wait did I move too fast. Nope they can’t see me cause of the tinted windows plus I’m in camouflage with black netting over me to blend in with the dark tint…or can they. I start wondering did I post on social media that I was going to this spot this evening.
Nope the cold and that easy meal got to them cause here they come again. I’m still amazed how you can bring an animal to the exact spot where you want them to be with some food pile. I remembered having a twinge of guilt for tricking them over food that I had poured out so close but the drive to get my hands on Ole Red so I could brag drove them away.
This here though is where it got real exciting. I cannot say what happened from here on out is exactly the way it happened cause things started getting foggy. Definitely had trouble breathing by this point and being so cold out my windows were fogging up something terrible. Grabbed the redneck defogger and went to spraying…helped a little but kept fogging right back up. My brain was definitely having trouble now and felt like I didn’t have much longer but somewhere in there I thought I heard someone mentioned urine helps. By this point I needed to piss so bad it sure seemed like a win win situation so in desperation I whipped it out and sprayed my whole driver side window. Slightly remember taking my hand and wiping and through the wet glimmering glare of the urine and redneck defogger I caught a slight glimpse of red hair amongst the darker ones at the feed.
That’s all I needed. Cracked the window and instantly felt the slightest rush of fresh air my lungs so desperately needed. Looked through the scope and got nervous again cause I didn’t have a clear shot and knew I just had about 10 seconds from cracking that window until they busted me. About on second 8 luckily the seas parted and I seen red. Bam! Evidently I needed a little more than 8 seconds of a little fresh air cause that was the last thing I remembered.
Not sure how long I had passed out but when I came too I was on the ground with one leg still in the truck trapped by the black netting. Evidently as I was passing out I had opened the door. I smelled like piss and why does the inside of my mouth taste like deer urine. Did I worry about my breath and spray some inside without thinking. Anyways looked over and there lay Ole Red.
Scrambled to my feet and went over there and dropped to my knees. Unbelievable feeling…not going to put into words cause you know the feeling you get when you shoot something over feed.
Took my phone and took some pics and then got my knife set out. He was a big one so I did the gutless method on him until the end. Ribs looked so big and good I decided to let the air out of the guts and take them as well.
I guess some pics got tossed around on social media cause on the way home I got some calls from Bass Pro and some other so called big name sponsors. They were so impressed how this hunt went down they wanted to start paying me to film my hunts. Word got around how the animals couldn’t smell me in my airtight redneck bli…I mean truck…they started comparing me to some brothers with the last name Drurys or something like that. Told me since I was sitting in that airtight contraption that somehow that made me know the science of deer. Craziest thing I’ve ever heard of in my life but don’t go telling nobody. Cause if somebody is that stupid enough to pay me money for something like that then this old redneck from Texas might be just smart enough to take it.
Merry Christmas to all y’all and I hope y’all’s hunt ends better than mine. Just stay away from bait and I’m sure everything will be fine.
Boreal that was one of the parts that was made up and some people might have took it wrong so I deleted that part. I get a little carried away sometimes.
John I’m sorry I wasted your time sir. Not on this site much but if you’re the guy that takes pictures you post some really good ones. I like wildlife pics myself and you’re an artist with that camera.
If we can’t laugh at ourselves….