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The 1st guy gave him money while the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. However, the 3rd guy slapped the driver.

The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did and asked, “What was that for?”

The 3rd guy replied, “Control your speed next time… you nearly killed us!”

Harold Ensley, 1912-2005

He grew up on a cattle ranch near the town of Healy, Kansas. At the age of eighteen, he was Kansas' top history student and Valedictorian of his one-room school class, despite his habit of playing hooky to go fishing. He taught himself to fish using a safety pin for a hook and a willow stick for a pole. Later in life, he was a Church of Christ preacher in Joplin, Missouri, and had his own religious radio show. While selling radio ads, a friend said that he would buy ads if Harold had a fishing show.

He started that show and donated his time for free. For a theme song, he chose the Smiley Burnett song, "It's My Lazy Day", which contained the words, "Well, I might have gone fishin'"….(Sometime later, Smiley sang that song ‘live' on Harold's TV show.) In 1949 he moved to Kansas City where he wrote a syndicated newspaper column and worked for another radio station selling ads. In 1951, he talked the station into airing "The Fisherman's Friend", again for no pay.

His big break came when Sears sponsored his radio show for five days a week, five dollars a show, and stayed for fifteen years. In 1953 his TV fishing show became one of the first in the Midwest to air in color. His radio show began with the new theme song "Gone Fishin'" which became his permanent theme song. "The Fisherman's Friend" became "The Sportsman's Friend." Every week for twenty-one years, one thousand one hundred and four live telecasts, with no reruns, Harold and his son Dusty filmed their adventures. They shot over two million feet of film, covering everything from snow and water skiing, duck, quail and pheasant hunting, and hang gliding to horseback riding in the high country, and of course, the main crux of his expertise, fishing. Extras on his show included his two dogs, Ben, an English Setter, and Country Squire, his pointer. He traveled in his trademark red Ford Country Squire station wagon.

In 1975 his show went into nation wide syndication with fifty four markets in forty eight states for the next twenty seven years, being produced by the Kansas State Network Television Company in Wichita, Kansas. All together, "The Sportsman's Friend" was on air for forty eight straight years. He was the first World's Champion for Sports Illustrated first major fishing tournament, "The World Series of Freshwater Sport Fishing", going on to win many awards in sport fishing and hunting, including the Kansas Association of Broadcaster's Hall Of Fame, Legends of the Outdoors Hall of Fame, and Kansas Sports Hall of Fame. His popularity was wide spread and he was asked make several cameo appearances in Hollywood.

He taught Jimmy Steward how to cast in a swimming pool, Henry Fonda how to catch trout. He fished with Tennessee Ernie Ford, Karl Malden, Rex Allen, William Holden, Denver Pyle, Mel Tillis, Kirk Douglas, Clint Walker, Clint Eastwood, and several other notables. The cast of "Gunsmoke" appeared on his show, and he appeared on "Gunsmoke" as one of Festus' drunken cousins who was thrown in jail. He guided Jed Clampett on a fishing trip during an episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies". He hunted quail with Roy Rogers and the Apollo 17 astronauts and fished with various governors, senators, and a president's son. He loved major league baseball, and fished with Ted Williams, Joe DiMaggio, Enos Slaughter, Stan Musial, Bobby Richardson, Tony Kubec, Roger Maris, George Bret, and Mickey Mantle, who autographed a photo to him which read, "To Harold, the second best fisherman I know. (signed) Number One; Mickey Mantle." Mr. Ensley wrote two books, "Winds of Chance" and "Wings of Chance" which recount some of his life's adventures.

Bio by: Allen Bailey: Dodge City Marshal (FindAGrave.com)

I just finished reading two books by Robert Traver (John D. Voelker who wrote "Anatomy of a Murder") on trout fishing: Trout Madness and Trout Magic. Getting my mindset for spring and spending more time on the trout streams here with a fly rod.

"15th and Patrick has been returned!!! Jeremiah and Kelly Weatherhead of Americus were driving home last night and spotted the sign in the ditch. They immediately called EPD and made arrangements to bring it in today. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! 15th and Patrick deserves to stand proud in his original location for all of Emporia to enjoy!"

In 1972, a somewhat effeminate young Barry Soetoro was prophetically named by his classmates "Most Likely to Swallow"

Her's was avacado...

The man replied., "We've only been married a year, I love her with all my heart. I can't do it."

The second man was brought in and told the same story. He shook his head and said, "No, we've been married 5 years, I love her deeply and I don't want the job that badly."

Third man came in, he'd been married 20 years. When they told him the scenario, he never said a word, just picked up the pistol and walked out the door. Pretty soon from the next room the interviewers heard a series of shots, then screams and the awfullest banging and thrashing and throwing of furniture they had ever heard.

Pretty soon the man comes back in the room looking pretty disheveled. He threw the gun down on the table and said, "Some idiot loaded that gun with blanks, but thanks to the chair leg I broke off, I got the job done!"

Great summary of his military career at link.

A widower and a widow attend their 60th class reunion, and a spark is rekindled. They have a lovely evening as a long ago spark is rekindled.

At the end of the night the widower asks "Dear lady, will you marry me?"

"Yes, yes I will!" she says enthusiastically.

The next morning the widower wakes up troubled. He can't quite remember if she said "Yes!" or "NO!"

Confused, he decides to call her to confirm what happened and he asks "Last night, did you say yes or no to marrying me?"

She replies "Oh I said yes! And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"

Black Bra (as told by a woman) ...................

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams! I love you!' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(you are going to love this....)

"What's for dinner, Zorro?”

The local thought for a while. "Are you walking or driving?" he asked the tourist.

"I'm driving."

"That's the quickest way."

Added: However I agree that this likely isn't Nebraska. Doesn't matter - I doubt if she is still there.

Thanks for the entertainment

Can’t wait for the March cf Humor page Sssshhhhh!

A long but narrow snow band that was up to 10-12 miles wide in places and over 100 miles long. Some places in the band got over a foot of snow in a short amount of time. Either side hardly got a flake.

The weather service said that things like this are known but hard to predict.