March Funnies
General Topic
Contributors to this thread:
Dana...that's a good one. Probably didn't win because of the ducks...there's already been far too many stamps with ducks on them.
Mike B that reminds me of the time my girlfriend looked at her eight-year-old son and told him to say grace before dinner. You know kids don’t want to do that right. She kind of forced him. So he began “Dear Lord please make my mom stop giving Joe crap” Holy chit I’m lucky I didn’t already have food in my mouth!
Dana, Wisconson used to have the biggest and best Holstein dairy cows on the planet, our homemade ice cream was over the top ! When I first tasted store bought I found it lacking……..
Anybody wondering what gift to give RCG for Christmas here ya go…this will keep him entertained for hours.
Perfect timing Pete. Alamo day is coming up soon. March 6 , the day it fell
For the Bowsite spelling police ;-)
Petedrummond : You haven't been watching the show in Washington lately. The brain has shrunk from walnut to pea.
Grammar policing is good ! ;-))
The shot is gonna be high...8^)
No way that buck is 189”! G3s are way too short…
Wibhunter, yes , when Prince Gavin says Cali taxes shall be an arm "or a leg", he obviously isn't kidding!
Mule Power's Link
lol OMG this is a classic! It was the first introduction of the infamous Hamblaster. See the post about “Cover scent” It’s the one with the picture of an arm. I’m dying!
Site is broke again I guess.
Those septic trucks are funny, got a couple around here with some funny sayings like "Stool Bus" or "Your Number Two is Our Number One" :)
It appears we had a quiet bunch yesterday.
Funnies aren’t funny if you can’t post pictures :)
A guy walks into a bar……
^^^ A picture of me naked in a white out blizzard on my world record musk ox hunt.
Howdy Joe : what broadhead did you use on on your muskox hunt ? Seriously, did you notice the best jokes have a kernel of truth? Regards,Bob
What did you guys do to the funny thread? This is why we cant have nice things!
That’s awesome Launcher. A few on here could use a pair. You can’t fix stupid though.
Shane
Two catholic priests were driving up the highway when they get pulled over by a state trooper.
Trooper comes up to the car shines a light inside and says good evening gentlemen sorry to bother you but we are looking for two child molesters.
The priests look at each other and shake their Heads…and the driver turns back to the state trooper and says OK we’ll do it.
PSA for the ladies out there:
I bought my girl one of those mood rings that changes colors so I could tell whether or not I might be getting some loving each evening. When she’s in a good mood, it turns green. When she’s in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on my forehead.
Don’t laugh. There are people who can’t wait to pay $10 more for these.
I always thought it was meat and potatoes, not meat and meat!! I guess potatoes are another white meat!!
This one is beyond perfect.
Knowing kids these day's you'd have to slap a big old Do Not Drink label on the front.
Let’s just say the neighbor’s window had a little hole in it and leave it at that….
Mine too!! BB gun wars, you 10 pump guns can only pump it once
Duhhh
Duhhh
Left and Right really??, must be for liberal bowhunters. I had a liberal bowhunter ask me if you had to be in front of the deer or behind to figure out the left or right! ....Mike
Lol, I actually poured them into my mouth and spit them into the feed hole. So it's really closer to a milk carton than most would think.
^^^ this. Probably why my bbgun was rusty.
Yes and when they were empty you would repurpose them for nightcrawlers for some nice stream fishing. scentman
Muley, for a joke when I parked my truck at work I stuck one side of those fake antlers in the bed of my truck... you wouldn't believe how many guys walked up and just shook their heads all red-faced... I worked in a guard shack, and they would yell " your an ass****"! scentman
Same here, Catscratch. Then, I graduated to a pellet gun, and used to put the pellets in my mouth for awhile, too. Didn’t seem to cause me any prob……….what was I talking about?
Pellets were heavy artillery! The good stuff. First ammo that expanded on impact. We used to skin chipmunks out and pin the hides to plywood in the garage. All diy hunts by the way.
I used to spit Copperheads too...8^) Actually I may still have a little carton around here somewhere...
Oh man, those "milk cartons" were so frigging awesome! So many crab apples, cans, pie plates, etc ended due to those things!
More sad than funny.
More sad than funny.
Hahaha! The Tyson VS Paul one is hilarious!
Nomad , that made me laugh out loud! They were awesome.
Actually not funny at all!
Will Is that the chemical H402 ?
Greenmountain... Dihydrogen Monoxide is a different way of saying H2O :)
Beendare's Link
And we turned out just fine…..
Bet he fibbed about what he would be towing….
An oldy but still hilarious
Medicinemann's Link
I felt that it was 1:23 well spent.....
Best part of Bowsite these days. Shame we can’t post memes to brighten our day.
In order to maintain what little sanity I have left, I just Figure none of them would have been that funny
I joined a gym 6 months ago and there has been absolutely no progress or weight loss. I m going down there personally tomorrow to see what gives?
Every single day pulling out of my driveway, I get hit by the same bicycle.
It's a vicious cycle.
Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?
He went to see Closed for the Winter.
Don't let this sht distract you from the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon.
Very long but read it you won’t regret it ….!!!’
Had this sent to me by a friend the other day thought I'd share
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.
The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when..... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp ... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope.....to sort of even the odds!!
Timex, your post on the "Wizard of Oz" is spot on about pertaining to today's politicians, but what few people realize is that in addition to being a children's story it was written in an allegorical style with a hidden meaning about politics of it's own time. It was actually published in 1900, shortly after the U.S. monetary system switched from being backed by silver to being backed by gold. Many people were against this move and in the story OZ stands for ounce and the Yellow Brick Road to the false wizard is the path to gold. The Scarecrow,(no brain) Tin man(no heart) and Lion(no courage) are actually meant to represent real politicians of that time. It is my understanding that one of them was meant to represent William Jennings Bryant, but I don't know for sure if that is correct. The Emerald City was meant to represent the folly of worshipping the greenback dollar. Also in the original story the Dorothy's slippers were silver, not ruby. Fascinating in my opinion, and I guess we're not the first generation to think our politicians are brainless, heartless and cowardly.
Brun, the people who stole the Ruby Slippers in 2005 have recently been charged in MN. Somebody from Crystal, MN I guess.
Tier one operators T shirt
Ouch, too early PECO2...8^)
To soon Peco... To soon... (Maybe a little bit of a giggle though over here).
samman's Link
I guess Bo & Luke were some of those still trying to cross the bridge anyway.
Timex,
Government policies are in place for a reason... Too waste time and spend an ungodly amount of money so we can be sure they are working for us!!
I say drag the ship out and figure out what happened with it. Then clear the passage immediately for shipping!! I did read a report today about the problems the loss of the bridge that would cause for hazard material transport... Pretty scary!
Biden establishes the Office of Gun Violence Prevention, puts Vice President Harris in charge.
Anfo and dynamite was way before the Oklahoma bombing
Another thread please. Back to funnies.
The people of Appalachia would also be impervious to propaganda! You can drop as many leaflets from the sky as you want, no one's going to be able to read them! Ha!
That's funny Brotsky...8^)
Hey, my county is on that map but never considered myself a hillbilly, but my lady calls me a "high tech redneck right wing whino"... I say yeah I luv wine...8^)))
TP and fire starting material
Is it just me, or is that “running with my mom” picture actually Not At All funny?
Just has that Apocalypse Now vibe to it….
It's hilarious you never had to cut your own switch?
Timex, what in the heck are they doing in that photo?!?
4 nolz, yes it was a long walk when dad (marine drill instructor) handed me his pocket knife & said go cut me a switch. ;>) Even longer walk when he 1st wasn’t big enough
I guessed they were hauling in a bear baiting station